i want to marry a singer as talented.

i want to marry a singer as talented.

i can NOT describe enough how much i love a guy who can sing.

below are some youtube videos on this taiwanese singing competition show that i have been following on cable. and i secretly want to download or just get my hands on all episodes and watch them over and over and over again.

i dont usually like chinese songs, but man, these three guys are the bomb! enjoy!

ta-ta.

xoxo.

naughty or nice?

naughty or nice?




i think i have been really angelic this year, albeit some drinking and getting alittle wasted high, some partying, some gossips, some lying, some letdowns, some anger aka some behaviour expected from all humans. period.

SANTA hasnt been very nice though (cause i have decided that SANTA doesnt come down from our non-existent chimneys delivering presents by himself conventionally anymore. HE has this hypnotising machine which sends brainwaves to people around you if you deserve a present. and then, these people around you will get you presents, as instructed by SANTA, so technically, it's still SANTA giving those presents. it's a high-tech world baby!).

but then again, there are some presents i havent collected yet. haha. we'll evaluate again.



so. the new year's in a few days. and i am, of course, not particularly happy cause it indicates that school's starting and the thought of projects just irks little moi. i hate school and i hate to work my ass off and i hate working in a team cause i am an anti-social not-so-lean mean bitch. but i would love to get back to civilisation and be with all my loves of course, hahaha.



so, that night, i couldnt sleep cause i had my mind on stuff. and i decided to clear out my drawers to just look at the things i have in them. and i found some stickers and pins that i have bought and kept cause they are too pretty to use; there were posters for ihavenoideawhat; pictures; some paper clips that are too pretty to use; my paper slash plastic bags collection; a whole lot more of junk that are too pretty to be used.

i should be a karang guni woman. it was hilarious when my brother opened the door and saw me sitting on the floor with all those stuff surrounding me.

anyways, i found my calendars which are from the previous two years, namely 2006 and 2005. and it was SWEET NOSTALGIA in caps when i read the little things i scribbled in the tiny space under each day. there were birthdays; descriptions of events, secondary school, decisions i had to make, people; things things things that i am very very very shy to say in details such as : kisses, dates etc. hah. wheee!



anyways, i have decided that i am giving up on this whole new year's resolutions thing cause i hate wrecking my brains for a list. so, i think i should just give my best for everything i do. ah, that's good right. haha. ah well. i have finally done a post, but deon's pictures still havent come round! man! need to go rush him. but i keep forgetting. hah.

HAPPY HOLS EVERYBOD!

ta-ta.

xoxo.

MERRY MERRY CHRISTMAS!

MERRY MERRY CHRISTMAS!

well, well. i had such fun lately. this hols i mean. thanks to the boys. i love you guys!

will update when i have MORE time! i have been crackling up with gossips and funny assumptions from deon's relatives! HAAHAHA.


sorry for a short entry!

all my bestest wishes to everybody!

HEARTS!

ta-ta.

xoxo.

what's raining on my parade.

what's raining on my parade.



holidays always makes me anti-social.

when it's time to put my social calender (however pathetic it is, i still have one with filled dates and appointments okay.) down for a rest, i tend to be much more seclusive than ever. cause well, i am just an extremist that way.

plus, i hate traffic congestion when my impatient mummy nags and nags; i's rather roam around my house, alone, searching for that magical wardrobe that leads to NOT narnia, but a land of sunflowers and where my wildest dreams (let's see, there's inclusion of brazilian male models, male models in general, perfumes, lingerie, able to eat without gaining weight, a hot bod..) come true.

so, if you get to see me in the hols, i think it's time to fork out some cash for 4D and then share the winnings with moi. hahaha. yah i still need money.




Christmas is just a day or two away! whee! but this year, there wont be an elaborated party or celebration at home cause i think my mummy got lazy. haha. besides, i cant chew on the turkey's leg cause of the braces. so i am happy with a simple edible dinner that doesnt consist of anything that i cant chew. cause not being able to eat makes me mean and grumpy, and we wont like that.

but i am expecting some plans with some FRIENDS. from what i can remember, i havent celebrated anything with my friends, so it's a start. and i do hope it's a start of my most anticipated freedom when i turn 18.

there's plans with the boys and also, HB clique. and also, marcus' social night where i had agreed to be his date.

now i wonder where will i squeeze in time for homework and project plannings! ahh. GodSaveMe!




i was going to complain about stuff again, as you can possibly see from the title. but suddenly, i feel happy cause i slept enough today. plus, i am sucking on my favourite candy cane. tsk. i dont really like it when my anger dissolves away, but i dont wanna complain cause it's the holidays and a festive season and mr bean's baking his turkey on my telly in the background. and i think i did complain about some stuff already, so i shant complain about what i had originally planned to complain. hmm. i think i used the word "complain" more than five times in this short para, so i shant go on and it's enough complaints for a post. hah! nonsensical.




other than lazing around, eating candy and watching the telly, i think i need to get my ass out of the house to shop for a present to exchange this coming HB gathering. what to get what to get. it has to be unisex, cause we wont know who might pick it out.

wait, i havent got presents for anybody yet! there are some homemade cards here and there, but you know, i wont ever finish the whole lot i have planned to make and give out in time. it's always like that. in the end, i only give out cards to an exclusive few. but then again, most of my dearest loves are far far away in OVERSEAS land. (hey it has a good ring to it eh!) it's pretty pointless. okay. so new year resolution one) make cards earlier next year!

well then. that's pretty much all now. i wanna go watch the xmas edition on cartoon network! hahahaha. and eat more candy. i know i said new year resolution two) lose weight and tone that abs, but that's next year! hahah! byeeee!

- 6.30 pm

-

i am watching videos of cute baby animals to keep myself happy.

i cant believe it. i hate christmas and i hate my upcoming 18th birthday and i hate 08's valentine's and i hate the holidays, i hate everything. i cant believe i thought i was okay with this whole thing of having my close friends away overseas, and suddenly it strikes me that i am not. it's always like that. i want to be okay i want this all to be the same. but it isnt. and you dont make it the same. and you dont try. i cant believe you, especially you, would fucking rain on my parade. i cant believe you dont understand my excitement of my upcoming 18th and everything i want to do and want to plan.

i cant help it if others dont get the ecstatic and excitement i get from the overwhelming anticipation and expectation i tend to always have when something, usually very random, is going to happen, be it my birthday or anything small like the release of a new movie. and i thought you got me and you understood and you will try to help me make it special like i thought and wish and hoped it will turn out to be. and then you tell me that in actual fact things wont be as special as i dream of them to be, you tell me i cant cause you have to do something else, you tell me it wont happen cause things like time and schedules clash. i dont want to hear facts; i can read an encyclopedia for them. am i so unimportant that dates cant be rearranged?

i want somebody who can help me weave my dreams into reality of the daily life. it's not too hard with a little amount of trying. but you wouldnt. like everybody else, you ignore me or shrug me away. and instead, you tell me to grow up and be sensible and let you go to bed cause you're tired even though i miss you and i want to talk to you. it was all your way when we were together and i cant believe i am tormenting myself even when we're not.

i cant believe i still expect and anticipate after all the times i have been let down. i dont learn, do i. i am a girl who wont grow up; i am a girl who still lives in the fairytales; i am like gisele from enchanted, just that she gets her 'happily ever after' but i would have died from letdowns and desperation and poignant pangs on my wounded heart even before i come close. i hate movies; they instill false hopes into me. but i love them, cause they paint me wonderful beautiful pictures to dream and hope for. maybe i am not meant for this world. i have always knew that. and this time, trying to find someone of commodity is getting tiresome and seemingly bleak. cause guys find random and unpredictable me tiresome to maintain and upkeep.

ta-ta.

xoxo.

sleep in and youtube.

sleep in and youtube.

i slept till 4pm. and woke up to have cereal and cookies with milk. woots. then, it's videos that i have been lazy to stream to watch. but alas, i am still wayy behind in gossip girls. need to get both full collections of the novel and serial.

some of my fav. vid of the day :

chanel n' 5.

chanel coco mademoiselle.

rouge allure

then, there's 2007's victoria's secret fashion show. which i thought wasnt that HOT, compared to last year's. i mean, JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE AND SEXYBACK. who can beat that? not will.i.am and i got it from my mama. plus, the new models? hot still DUH with longgg legs and envious abs, but i miss gisele and some others.



need to get full collections of victoria's secret fashion show too. ah!

I HEART PRETTY THINGS.

SO MUCH.

ta-ta.

xoxo.

that darn thing.

that darn thing.



caught "national treasure" today. it was pretty good, with all the puzzles and clever code-deciphering.

i love those stuff (which was why i was so hooked onto dan brown back then i guess.). i would have majored in mythology or literature or related fields if my family's freaking rich or has an empire of something for me to fall back on, and i dont need to have a wiser (in terms of lucrative) career choice to ensure that my (humongous-jumbo-mambo) appetite for branded luxury goods can be satisfied.

but then, why blame non-existent intangible events over and over again? just talk about it once in awhile, and move on. hahaha.




i am in such a bloody good mood, cause i have pretty blue nails and a new jacket and i wore my favourite blue tee with denim and converse and my fendi bag and the jacket and earrings from ting and i am happyhappyhappy cause my tummy wasnt showing today and i looked thin. estactic and all, i really HAD to pee after the show but the toilet was packed with nonsensical ladies who HAD to pee at the same time as i do. so, i just went into the handicapped toilet and caught many men staring (cause it was infront of the men's.) at my declaration of "i really HAD to pee" to jun you when he lectured me after i came out. ah well.



man, i am really crappy now. need to sleep more and finally, i get to sleep in like till real late cause i expect tomorrow to be a day FREE from breakfasts or brunches or morning calls or outings. whoever calls me gets punch!




in my dream, i have many ears and mouths to listen and talk on the phone, with all my favourite loves in this world. of course, there's no such bullcrap as phone bills.






stalker someone told me he wants me to make valentine's available for him cause he wants to book THIS (click on it to see.). i have to say, IT IS SWEET OF HIM and i was TOUCHED though the thought of having to be on the ferris wheel aka high stagnant place for a prolly long time is rather turn-off-ish. i can handle tall places, but when it's stagnant and a ferris wheel.. i think i wouldnt enjoy it fully even if i am going to be with youknowwho or justin timberlake.

alas, it's not even my 18th and i am worrying about valentine's (thanks to s.s tsk.). will i have a SPECIAL someone to spend it with? ohmy, LOVE's one DARN thing!

am not being desperate here. but lately, alterations to my specifications has got me wondering if there are such guys in the world.




dont you just hate it when you know what you want, and what you want is beyond the world?

personality quizzes! due to boredom.

Your Score: The Carnal Lover

36% partner focus,

57% aggressiveness,

70% adventurousness

Based on the results of this test, it is highly likely that:

You prefer your romance and love to wild and daring rather than typical or boring, you would rather pursue than be pursued and, when it comes to physical love, you concentrate more on enjoying the experience rather than worrying about your performance.

This places you in the Lover Style of: The Carnal Lover.

The Carnal Lover is a wonderful Lover Style, though it is often confused with terms like "player" or even "slut." The Carnal Lover is not necessarily either of those things (though sometimes is) but is instead a lover of life, romance and pleasure. The Carnal Lover is a treasure to find, though can sometimes be difficult to keep happy once found, because a Carnal Lover often loves a variety-filled life.

In terms of physical love, the Carnal Lover tends to be dynamic and driven, and can therefore be quite pleasurable. Given the right motivation, and the right lover, the Carnal Lover can be a delight in bed.

Best Compatibility can probably be found with: The Surprising Lover (most of all) or the Devoted Lover, or the Liberated Lover.

Congratulations!

If you enjoyed this test, I would love the feedback! Also, you might want to check out some of my other tests if you're interested in the following:

Nerds, Geeks & Dorks

Professional Wrestling

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

America/Politics

Thanks Again! -- THE LOVER STYLE PROFILE TEST

Link: The Lover Style Profile Test written by donathos on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Half-Cocked.
Random Brutal Sex Dreamer (RBSD)

Fiery. Hungry. Blatant. Sexual. Christ. You are Half-Cocked.

There's a lot of wild lust inside you, banging around, that much is obvious. There's also a lot of untamed emotion. When either escapes, look out. One minute you're completely together, the next you're a howling gale of hormones and opinions.


Outside relationships, your intense, mercurial personality makes you a charmer. You can be fiercely devoted, and it's likely that many of your friends will be friends-for-life. Of course, your enemies are likewise certain and zealous, especially your exes and their therapists.


You will find the right person. In the short term, he's someone virile who won't sweat your imperfections. In the long term, he will be someone mature and caring who will grow to love them.


Always avoid: The Slow Dancer (DGLD)
Consider: The Playboy (RGSM), The Billy Goat (DBSD)

Link: The Online Dating Persona Test @ OkCupid - free online dating.

ta-ta.

xoxo.

12 mohamad sultan road.

12 mohamad sultan road.



cheeky's. i'll make it happen one day.




anyways, today was such a wonderful day. i couldnt believe i was dreading the whole travelling thingy and all, though i really wanted to see lizzie. well, i saw her and we had fun around town. she got to know eu ginn and jun you, and i really hoped that she had met deon too cause he's just hahaha-the-bomb. but never mind. next time, at cheeky's! hahaha.



got myself this hoodie (HOODIEEEEEEE!) at forever21, priced at SGD53. which i secretly took out from my allowance. i dont know but i felt damn guilty (though i love it alot alot alot.). basically cause i was using my "school funds" for pleasure. i think today was just a bimbotic slash sleepy slash blur slash weird day for me. i couldnt process information well, my intellectual side was hidden far away and i couldnt lie AT ALL. man. need more sleep i guess.





i need help with something. lizzie, if you read this, im me or something. need help. i cant take it no more. (i hate myself for thinking about others.)

how now brown cow.

ta-ta.

xoxo.

last night.

last night.



well, it was a BLAST. paid about 50 bucks for generally lousy buffet food, but it's the company that matters aight? as usual, i was the only femme. have totally gotten used to it. besides, they dont treat me as a girl. tsk. blind fools. hahahhaa.


photos are with deon, who left his camera in my bag and thus, you guys have to wait have to wait.

cant blame that boy. he was superb HIGH (think beer, then long island, then margaritas. in pitchers.) by the time we got into his dad's car that he was tapping his dad's arm repeating "you're not angry are you (hysterical laughs.) no right? (hysterical laughs)".



yes, boy. you did that.



everyone of us was dancing, even though the music was just 'blah' and the people were lousy sports and only a couple of ah bengs danced their dance, which involved only kicking the floor. i dont know how to describe it, but it was silly and idiotic. hahaha. you have to see it to understand.


so, malaysian's clubbing scene was lousy and the clubbers were old. tsk. singapore next time! hey make it work people! preferably this coming tues!




p.s./ this post will be revised.





ta-ta.

xoxo.

"watched kettles dont boil".

"watched kettles dont boil".


a quote from ARK. i dont know who you are, but i would like to. hahaha.



anyways, i finally got the existing pictures into my comp and here goes. a picture post, with captions.

was trying something out. kind of love the effect. hahaha.

my new boots! looks like sneakers eh. very comfyyy. boots aint out okay.

my bro was like "sis. do the shades model pose.". asshole. i feel idiotic.



my mango dress! lovelovelovelovelove.

HUIYING's BIRTHDAY AT FISH & CO,

the staff made her stand on the chair.

her "cake" - ice cream and pau! creative eh. such a pity we're in hospitality, but not design.

her present! sexy, sexy triumph lingerie. picked out by moi! but doesnt fit very well, so have to change. but where's the receipt!?!

amk hub's our favourite hangout!

me-to-you bear! haha this one's sweet eh. but i've got one huge one and another smaller one already. so i am not gonna say i want it.

thurs = went to garene's place.

the bus to her place is as small as those free shuttle buses at aloha chalet. i miss aloha!

meet YOYO!

super cute!

we played mj (i completely forgot all i have learnt in aloha.), pool, watched cartoons and mtv, ate macd, ate maggie, slept and skipped macro tutorial. except peipei who went and made some of us guilty.


watched american pie 6 and damn, it was funny! i wanna watch 1 - 4 please!

hols are here!

and Christmas is so near!



i cant wait for :

a) the presents,

b) meet-ups with as many of my LOVES as possible,

c) 28th,

d) the new year (i am doodling up some resolutions. next post.),

e) my birthday!! 31st JAN, mark those calendars!

etc etc..

well. that's all. hopefully, the next entry will be interesting. cause i am expecting some cabana slash dancing sat night. bye.

ta-ta.

xoxo.

we've got problems.

we've got problems.



i was reading postsecret earlier on and it just strikes me that the world is damn troubled, and getting more messed up each day. overhearing the news at the same time, it says that in singapore, one out of every six has psychological problems but doesnt get professional help cause they dont know they are kooked.


well, i doubt i am kooked but i think i wanna get counselling. i expect it to be very helpful as it seems to be able to help one find his/her center, clear his/her mind of stuff.

i wanna go get advice on how come i am happy as an individual (single) most of the time, but sometimes i yearn for a guy (NOT sexually.).

and though i've got my standards set, i do get impulsive thoughts to just ditch the principles and settle for a guy.

but then, i look around and the guys available and are interested are NOT even remotely decent (i lament once again on the quality of my pitiful bunch of admirers.). and that turns me off and i get these helpless nudges in my heart. i just cant grab anyone. i vowed to settle for one i can show off. and that WILL happen.

damn. that was pathetically desperate! thanks to all lovers out there, with their PDAs and msn declarations eh. tsk. uncle thom even asked me what he should get for garene this christmas! TSK! but these two are damn sweet.


alas. someone to trouble himself with thoughts about presents for you.

i wonder if i have that.



moving on, my photos are heaping but i am still lazy. maybe i will do it after saturday where deon, eu ginn, jun you and a couple more of us are having dinner at some fancy place and then, maybe drinks and dance somewhere. arent we excited! but i am having fashion trouble; i dont know what to wear. plus, i am nervous cause we havent been to a msian club and we're not legal yet. make or break, we'll see.



man, my life is a dang. pfft.







ta-ta.

xoxo.

SET ME FREE.

happiest 17th lizzie!

happiest 17th lizzie!

lovelovelove! hope you had a jolly good time today!


blame my noobness. i left your present at the shop after paying for it and then went home and didnt notice until this morning. well, well. i hope to get it back. if not, then i will get you another pressie!






and huiying's sexy bra doesnt fit very well. but i lost the receipt, so i hope the salesperson remembers me and agrees to change it for me. alas. mistakes mistakes!

p.s/ READ ZA's BLOG FOR TODAY'S FUNNY BOYCRAZE SESSION!

i have never felt a stronger bond with anybody, thanks to this hobby slash talent as a commodity.

ta-ta.

xoxo.

nope. dont adore.

nope. dont adore.



i have been a bum slash asshole lately.


not updating blogs, not transferring photos into my comp, not streaming gossip girls to watch, not being attentive, not thinking important stuff very much, not being very nice to people, not being there for people, not listening to people pour their woes, not not not.


the only thing i do is give myself the most amount of daydreams and fantasies as possible, jump around my room, walk on tiptoes, clench my waist and hope to wake up beautiful.


i havent got interest in others (light blue equals eww). just wish to be alone with all the books and dvds of the world. loner-tyng here we go.




i bought movies and i wanna buy more. i need money, who's charitable?

-

p.s/ i wish i can promise to do up a post on huiying's birthday soon.

but i dont really do promises anymore. cause i promised myself to get a body that i dare to appear in a bikini in by my 18th bash (so i can have a pool party or just a party where people have to be in skimpy clothes. and i will be in some hot bikini or just lingerie and show off the belly button ring which i proudly declare that the process didnt hurt one bit cause i had too little fats. damn horny i know.), but judging from the body parts that wobble with every step i take, it's b-r-o-k-e-n.

call me john travolta's stunt double in hairspray (which reminds me, i have to watch the rest of it but, alas, where to get it.).

-

p.p.s/ my mum had a sudden panic attack and decided to deny my free and easy independent trip to bangkok. she says i have to go with a tour (same thing, light blue equals eww.) or else, NO.

tour! who the hell goes to bangkok with a tour! i dont want to see buddhas and zoos and whatnot. i wanna go shopping and laze around at the pattaya like locals and shop and go for massages and club at night!

pfft. bombs in public phone booths.

i am damn disappointed that she agrees at first and i thought she was freaking awesome. but then "thought about it" and then breaks her promise and decide that i cant club or stay overnight in singapore or go to bangkok cause i might come back then tell her i am pregnant after two months. NONSENSE! like i want a kid!

PFFT!


you're ruining my life!


(dramatic.)








ta-ta.

xoxo.

okay. IT'S coming.

okay. IT'S coming.





cartoon network's (yah. i still watch) advertisements of christmas' day special cartoon marathon;

mummy pestering, then threatening us to "put up the damn tree already";

natnat's M&M's holidays mix;

repeated "let it snow" and other songs of jingle nature on the radio in mummy's car..



i have to say, i am finally feeling the Christmas spirits! with much, much slaps from the reality and things. hahaha.


i guess it has got to be school and its pressure that propelled me into low enthusiasm and excitement this year. but now that term one's icas are all done and term break's round the corner and Christmas propaganda is being broadcasted everywhere, i can let my workaholic slash perfectionist slash determined-to-work-better-under-pressure alter ego down by alittle and start to enjoy the tiny breather i get to take before the second term and the dreaded final exams.


but then, i really wonder about this year's celebration. i shouldnt expect much. that's why i am heaping my expectations all to my birthday!! haha. nevertheless, i am looking forward to seeing those who are coming back from wherever for the season. much meetings definitely!





blogging has been slow here lately. i guess the heat is dying after a year slash 215 posts. i have been sleeping and eating more. ask my classmates about my constant cry of hunger and eager plans of where to lunch. hah! i am doing this in boring macro lecture; just a quick update to tell all i am alive. unfortunately, i am much too lethargic to tell all interesting events over the week. so, we shall all wait till i am at a better enthusiasm level!






thanks to those who have been tagging! hahaha. LOVEEEEEEEE!

ta-ta.

xoxo.

stop the moans and we'll see.

stop the moans and we'll see.

this week has been so.. enlightening.

i have more new theories made up in my mind and honestly, i think most people know or have thought about these, but they just dont (dare to) say it. as usual. and like usual, i tend to do the dirty work. so be it, i am the mean bitch anyways, so here goes. i will try my best to illustrate my point. but i think you will understand better if you have met with similar incidents.



with no offense to anyone in particular, i have decided that singaporean guys or Asian guys in general, are such irritants. color coded to show groupings of species.

you know when one of them takes an interest to a girl and thus decided to woo (pfft.) her. and asks her out on a date and they did something which was the least impressive to the girl's perspective. and then, he decided that he has done enough slash so much (pfft.) to win her heart? i mean WHAT THE HELL? you think girls are such easy peasy that a lousy, unromantic date is enough for you to get us?

okay, you may say it's unfair for me to just decide for you guys reading this that the date was lousy and unromantic. but let me provide you with proof that it indeed is. think silence with some awkward lines of conversation. think a movie which acted as a relief for the girl cause she had absolutely nothing to talk to with the guy, and if they hadnt watched the movie, she would just die thinking she has to face him and the whole time not looking into his face, thinking about her excuse to leave early or checking out the guy at the barrister of starbucks instead.

so i admit, it may be cause the girl was not interested in the guy in the first place. so she was skeptical, and since that first impression failed, all else came crumbling and the guy couldnt impress her no matter what. but if the guy had performed better, the girl would have at least want to be friends with him even though nothing extra would come out of it. that, i am sure.

and here comes the main point why i am condemning these guys. you know after that one date, the girl decided that he is just-friends material and she put it nicely to avoid hard feelings. BUT the guy has to ruin all chances of befriending with moans about how much he has sacrificed for her. pfft, YAH RIGHT! think a few sms-es and missed calls and him thinking of her day and night (like we told him to do that!). the worst part is he has to tell you a story, on msn, about this guy who sacrificed so much for the girl he likes blah blah. oh sure, try to get us feel for that. like we dont know it is, in actual fact, YOUR story and a ploy to make us feel guilty.

COME ON. do you really want us to pity you and then go out with you? have some dignity! we dont like guys who are this pathetic. tsk.


as far as i know, girls like guys who are confident and fun. who arent like sick puppies who lie on our feet and beg. i like guys with dignity and know how to treat a girl with restrain; alternating between the ego and the sweet-thoughtful.

it's hard to achieve, but there are guys like that. and i think i am going to wait for one. yah, even if i might end up old and alone with 37 cats. and of course, i know i will be complaining to my friends how come i havent met a guy and blahs, but i know i have friends who will listen and hit me on the head and tell me to stop being picky. but then, i will get them back on my side by telling them crude examples of all those things the weirdos that like me have done. i believe my standards arent high at all.



whatever happened to old-school dating? gifts would be nice. guys need to brush up on their casual conversation skills. and stop saying you miss her and then asking if she missed you; she doesnt even know you that well, why would she think about you?! and duh, stop thinking that sacrifices are made! none are made! you wanted to woo her, and then you tell her you sacrificed for her? nonsense! she'll just think "then stop sacrificing and get out of my life!" would you like that?



okay, it is getting so boring eh.

-

i think i want to take up argentine tango. it's uber sexy!

i am bored now. bye!

ta-ta.

xoxo.

or maybe chemistry is wearing off by the minute?

full-fledged.

full-fledged.

"u have lotsa admirers. but only weirdos got the guts haha"

.

.

"cos they got nth t lose what"

.

.

"already weird"

.

.

"so make thebest of it lah"

- NURUL IMAN

well, i just got reminded why sometimes i cant help but HAVE to talk to her when i see her online, even if she has her "busy" or "away" signs put up (to keep stalkers away). sorry eh, love. i CANT resist bothering you.




so, most icas are done. macro sucked but access was better comparatively, but still bad.

i think i need to escape to cosy, cosy max brenner at the esplanade after going through the "esplanade story" tunnel.

sit there daydreaming and looking at the pretty boxes they have and take in the peace dosed with a tad of cocoa bean's fragrance.

then maybe lepak in the lovely library.

all alone. i dont mind a selective few tagging along, but just the "them" i choose.





well, well. i want to cut class tomorrow. but who to hang out with? man, my social circle. or am i too picky? i cant help it if i have a mingle problem. this is why i am such a goody with 100% attendance; i havent got friends to havoc with.





sleep beckons. bye.

ta-ta.

xoxo.

sunday sunday.

sunday sunday.

my sunday was kind of boring cause i was "working" since 8 in the morning. and after, i didnt see what i expect to see. so blah. well, at least i was in my new white shirt dress with black stockings that had roses on them. mummy's concert went super well, but i hated my voice. squeaky!

picturesss! courtesy of my bro. he came up with those weird poses.

see! there are roses on the stockings!

then, i attended a concert on behalf of my lazy mummy of a music teacher. haha. her best friend slash high-tea and shopping buddy also skipped it, so i was with her daughter.

nothing much to mention. we didnt see the hot and talented guys we were expecting. i cant believe we fell for our mothers' trick. they used guys as bait to send us into a boring, boring event. LIARS. well, at least we had a nice high-tea afterwards. i am not gonna talk about the concert.

curses to those who took jo's lappie. and i am sleepy cause i havent slept well for days and days. busy school. busy head. busy mind. i need rest sooon. bye!

ta-ta.

xoxo.

hoodie hotness!

hoodie hotness!




i was bored. and thus went about surfing the net for hoodies. i am pretty bummed that i cant find gorgeous hoodies here while the net showcased various types of designs.

these are found at this american website, karma loop or something.
apparently they sell an assortment of branded apparel like paul frank, stussy etc.

displayed below are just my top three. there are tons more.

i love this one. the most.

very cute eh, the sheep!

i like the length of this one. covering the thighs.

and then, i went to see Victoria's Secret. and i vow to earn big bucks so i can buy clothes and lingerie from them. haha.

this smocked one was hot.

so. i kind of figured out what i want. basically. i want a front-zipper tunic (so it reaches and covers the thighs) hoodie, with deep slash pockets (so i can put stuff and my hands in. kangaroo pockets are so impractical).

i am finding ways to get hoodies overseas. the ones they have here are unusually ah beng slash lian - ish. ah bengs and lians dont slash shouldnt even wear hoodies. tsk.

i am glad i have friends studying abroad. hahaa. but alas, no one's in USA. whyyyy!

ta-ta.

xoxo.

oh cant i sleep forever.

oh cant i sleep forever.



i am freakishly irritated for i cant get some decent sleep after slogging it all out for my marketing report. it was, in my own opinion, the best i could have ever conjured up in the wee morning till 4 am and having not enough sleep the past few days, so i am pretty satisfied with the final essay (after much edits over again and again.). i was almost teary when it was time to hand that baby up; couldnt let go! then again, my sanity level is dropping by the second, so you prolly dont have to pay careful attention to my daily looney declarations uh.



i am the english emcee again for mummy's kindergarten annual concert this sunday. talk about lack of mental preparation. there might be a rehearsal with the chinese emcee tomorrow and i am just hopping it's not in the mornings. chinese emcee's a daughter of one of the teachers. i sometimes dislike meeting people of the same gender, cause i find women very threatening. but heck, i dont plan to make friends.


cause i have accepted my deficiency in mingling with new people. the way i somehow got all my enthusiasm sucked out of me thus leading me to be unable to perform as spunky as i am around people i am comfy with, just puzzles me. it's worse if the other person doesnt seem interested and thus not ask questions which can propel me to have interest. the silence. tsk tsk unbearable. i need new friends and more, but i just cant help being boring when i meet new people randomly.

problematic.

ngjunyou just told me his schoolmates saw justin timberlake at the club they usually go to. and he was real hot, but almost alcoholic. man. i wanna club with JT! who cares if he's drunk or on coke! man i want to club, period. someone let me out of my cage! you hear me? we are gonna have loads of quality dinner time and clubbing when you get your ass back here, my only few friends in msia!





ah well. i do hope to have fun at the kiddy concert and take some pictures. will be in my new white shirt dress with this silk sash to be ribbon-ed around the collar. sounds tacky, but it's pretty nice. bye!







ta-ta.

xoxo.

it's bangkok-kok!

it's bangkok-kok!



school has been busy lately and i mean REAL busy. so many projs and icas coming up that i cant get to sleep thinking that datelines're here and there.


i cant wait for term break to come. oh wait, scratch that. i cant wait for semester break to come and there will be abso-no repeating of modules and zero-zilch sub-papers to take and i got a fantastically satisfying (i am aiming pretty low.) gpa and everything's all planned out and BANGKOK awaits us like a young bride anticipates her man's return, for SHOPPING slash NO-ADULT-SUPERVISION-ish FREEDOM beckons us like flowers call out to bees.


i cant believe mummy gave the green light for me to go (how great is she! she bought me dresses and boots and now sponsors my trip!), but i aint complaining. afterall, by march, i would have been 18 for 2 months. and puh-lease, i am responsible. she thinks i am uptight even. hahaha! i just so cant wait! but i do hope everybod in the "clique" manages to convince their parents cause i imagined it to be an everybody thing!



well, i think i am gonna do my marketing proj now and also, read my book and watch some movies. sleep early also. before that, i got a joke! okay, only helmi laughed at it while the rest laughed at me laughing (rolls eyes.), but i thought it was funnnyyy!

so, peipei was telling za and i that in bangkok, they sell very cheap but nice and sexy lingerie.

and za asked, "really? is it branded?"

and peipei said, "what do you think?"

and i said, "of course! brand bangkok-kok!"

. . .

suddenly, it doesnt sound so funny after i typed it out. but at that moment, i was really cracking up! like 2 storeys up, all the way to the library! even while doing our proj, i was still laughing after telling anybody who didnt hear it the first, second, third (insert number of times) times.

okay. all those work spoiled my brain, didnt it? bye!

ta-ta.

xoxo.

love-hate.

love-hate.

-

"I had rather be a toad, and live upon the vapor of a dungeon than keep a corner in the thing I love for others uses."

- William Shakespeare

-

i dont know what's going on inside and with me anymore. somehow, i have changed. to be more conscious, less confident, more needy, less independent. i hate that about myself. it not only makes me paranoid, jealousy also tend to creep into my body, feeding on my brain, guts, heart.



i remember when i used to be ugly. like really.

proof :

primary 5.

not that i am very pleasant to the eyes now, but i think there's at least some improvements here and there. back to my point, when i was oblivious to the fact that i was seriously obese and fugly, i was happy. i think it was cause i was unaware or maybe it was cause people were nice and didnt point it out to me.


nowadays, people are much more horrible and critical. maybe it's all these machines that rob them of their humanity; androids. whatever it is, i rather not comment. cause i know i have blame on my part. i care too much of my appearance these few years. my character may be flawed and i am a mean bitter bitch. at least i am not inconsiderate and insensitive of other's feelings.

anyways, in the moment of depression, disappointment and angst with myself and the world, i was drowning myself in red wine (dont tell my mum) and some true talent. vitas.

vitas' opera #2, live.

opera #2, original video.

do youtube him. he's amazing. i love his psychotic eyes. maybe i do have a thing for weirdos.

ta-ta.

xoxo.

why is my heart out for all to stab?
who's there to care and catch?
lost.

boys, contours and damned uncertainties.

boys, contours and damned uncertainties.



with this somewhat awesome title in mind, i had to say something. i dont know, lately the blog has been rather quiet (peeks over to tagboard) and it's making me urgh (cause i need attention remember?) but i'm keeping my purpose in centre and blocking out all distractions that will divert me away from it. zen-ish eh! hahaha. i am high. on depression brought by low self-esteem. ah, teen angst.

today was just about the most activity-filled freshies' weds ever. lunch with binny, liz and niss. BEOWULF (didnt know it was animated but i guess it was okay. naked jolie made it sexy-gold.) with nur, liz, niss and dk.


i think i am gonna be a major fill.in.the.blanks.with.anything.negative for saying this but it's innermost thoughts, so here goes : i get pretty insecure slash jealous hanging out hot people like them.


we all remember the "origins" of our friendship? freshies' pageant? though nissSTAR isnt from it, but she's hothothot still, so sama-sama. and okay, honest honest, though i may be pretty confident and all sometimes, mostly, i get intimidated by slash envious of the attention slash worshipping aka lusty stares (i know. but it does wonders to one's ego still. you have to admit.) these hot ones get! it's like two different worlds and slash or the greener pasture and slash or brighter moon; you dont get there without the innate attributes. and i. havent. got. them.


yah, here it goes again. and strangely i am sick of it myself. then again, the mood strikes and the insecurities beckons and all these restrictions bother you and blah blah. i know my problem; my sudden changes of mind and "personality". i am usually okay with my skin but suddenly, i get haywired and everything's the opposite.

why? i dont know.

love-attention-and-worshipping deprived, most prolly.

i just hate that i am always circling around the same old people, same old places, same old events.

i need to have fun and color and adventure. and being stuck in a tutorial room having accounts jammed into my head isnt exactly the experience of the lifetime i am looking for.


i am hungry and greedy.
this alter scares even myself sometimes.

ta-ta.

xoxo.