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"I had rather be a toad, and live upon the vapor of a dungeon than keep a corner in the thing I love for others uses."
- William Shakespeare
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i dont know what's going on inside and with me anymore. somehow, i have changed. to be more conscious, less confident, more needy, less independent. i hate that about myself. it not only makes me paranoid, jealousy also tend to creep into my body, feeding on my brain, guts, heart.
i remember when i used to be ugly. like really.
proof :
not that i am very pleasant to the eyes now, but i think there's at least some improvements here and there. back to my point, when i was oblivious to the fact that i was seriously obese and fugly, i was happy. i think it was cause i was unaware or maybe it was cause people were nice and didnt point it out to me.
nowadays, people are much more horrible and critical. maybe it's all these machines that rob them of their humanity; androids. whatever it is, i rather not comment. cause i know i have blame on my part. i care too much of my appearance these few years. my character may be flawed and i am a mean bitter bitch. at least i am not inconsiderate and insensitive of other's feelings.
anyways, in the moment of depression, disappointment and angst with myself and the world, i was drowning myself in red wine (dont tell my mum) and some true talent. vitas.
vitas' opera #2, live.
opera #2, original video.
do youtube him. he's amazing. i love his psychotic eyes. maybe i do have a thing for weirdos.
ta-ta.
xoxo.
why is my heart out for all to stab?
who's there to care and catch?
lost.
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