boys, contours and damned uncertainties.

boys, contours and damned uncertainties.



with this somewhat awesome title in mind, i had to say something. i dont know, lately the blog has been rather quiet (peeks over to tagboard) and it's making me urgh (cause i need attention remember?) but i'm keeping my purpose in centre and blocking out all distractions that will divert me away from it. zen-ish eh! hahaha. i am high. on depression brought by low self-esteem. ah, teen angst.

today was just about the most activity-filled freshies' weds ever. lunch with binny, liz and niss. BEOWULF (didnt know it was animated but i guess it was okay. naked jolie made it sexy-gold.) with nur, liz, niss and dk.


i think i am gonna be a major fill.in.the.blanks.with.anything.negative for saying this but it's innermost thoughts, so here goes : i get pretty insecure slash jealous hanging out hot people like them.


we all remember the "origins" of our friendship? freshies' pageant? though nissSTAR isnt from it, but she's hothothot still, so sama-sama. and okay, honest honest, though i may be pretty confident and all sometimes, mostly, i get intimidated by slash envious of the attention slash worshipping aka lusty stares (i know. but it does wonders to one's ego still. you have to admit.) these hot ones get! it's like two different worlds and slash or the greener pasture and slash or brighter moon; you dont get there without the innate attributes. and i. havent. got. them.


yah, here it goes again. and strangely i am sick of it myself. then again, the mood strikes and the insecurities beckons and all these restrictions bother you and blah blah. i know my problem; my sudden changes of mind and "personality". i am usually okay with my skin but suddenly, i get haywired and everything's the opposite.

why? i dont know.

love-attention-and-worshipping deprived, most prolly.

i just hate that i am always circling around the same old people, same old places, same old events.

i need to have fun and color and adventure. and being stuck in a tutorial room having accounts jammed into my head isnt exactly the experience of the lifetime i am looking for.


i am hungry and greedy.
this alter scares even myself sometimes.

ta-ta.

xoxo.