funny, cause i have always known myself to be one who's rational and opinionated. but lately, my life events have been decked out in areas one greyer than the other. you know how i always tell people i havent got a favourite color cause it all depends on my mood? i am just indecisive, always weighing out opportunity costs here and there to pick one.
not exactly wishy-washy, but my considerations are too well-rounded and in the end, i cant put my finger on one choice. cause i know i will regret, and i never did intend to step out thereafter. maybe i am not as crash and burn as i am anymore.
well, it's all going to be back to the divided. cause i cannot handle grey areas as well as i thought i could and wanted to. emotionally draining to care about so many aspects of the grey area and my emotions always betray my intentions.
before i am nineteen, i shall deck all my mess in black or white. now, that's one hell of a new year resolution.
Merry Christmas everyone. well, my hair smells like cranberry shortbread and strawberry shampoo and i was highly entertained by the rhyming script of The Grinch and the cheesy happy ending of The Family Stone. i am home alone like that those little boys in those Home Alone movies cause my mum's out and my brothers went to church. that was my eve this year, ugh.
no i am not mopey. i just wanted to party but killer traffic spoils everythingggg.
i suppose Christmas pressies came early for me. boo. foxy cleopetra is officially dead. the blue screen kept coming up even after i restart as instructed. and well, it just remains at the bloody blue Stop page and nothing happens. let's just hope i dont need to go through the ordeal of waiting for it to be repaired and can proceed straight to getting a Mac. doubtful, but i am dreaming. ahh, my music!
well, my second batch of shortbread was awesome. no pictures cause i am stuck with this lousy desktop which restarts after every minute! so if you're dear to me, maybe you'll get a heart or two, depending on how many i can make.
i am back from KL. boo. despite the killer traffic jams, how i wish i can stay there forever. visited just the Mid Valley Megamall and Sunway Pyramid (both which i have been before), and missed the Pavilion again! but i'll be back! this time, drive and not the coach. i cannot travel light, and after the shopping, i am lugging a mammoth around.
pictures are scarce,
on the coach on the way there. large space and light luggage, relaxed
this is very cool. disco bowling. i want to try the next time i am at Mid Valley.
they remind me of HB Hearts. haha
watched Australia! super awesomeeeee. Hugh Jackman is Hot!
my favourite stores on this trip was People's at Mid Valley and Kitschen at Sunway.
trying on clothes,
two of the many dresses i bought.
one of the men's cardi.
yay! shopping shopping makes me jump up and down. i have bought accessories and dresses and tees and men's cardigans. so super crazy. too bad no shoes caught me eye. but mummy did splurge on more than a pair of heels and a clutch from Guess.
i love spending money and eating Ding Tai Feng and Carl's Junior and popcorn.
hey all. i am still sick as a dead cat, but yah, might as well stick it up and take a break over at KL. i need to shop and get away from the suppressing amount of projects parts to tie up. please dont get mad if you havent receive my email. i promise, before Christmas.
so be back in a few days with pictures, a rejuvenated tyng and some goodies. i hope.
leave you guys with some videos. i was youtubing last night and i had to post this awesome scene from Twilight. it's my favourite, and well, pretty much the only time i took my eyes off the other Cullens and swoon at Jasper, who twirled the bat so terrifically at around 1:09.
(pardon the quality. it was the most decent version they have)
and this is the original song, "Supermassive Black Hole" by Muse
super awesome!
gives me a vision of blood red maryjanes stilettos, dark colored nails, big va va voom messy curls, red lips. something like Mac campaign.
ok, i am off to take another nap. i feel so drowsy all the time, it's weird.
and someone needs to help me. i think Cleopetra's going konked. or is it cause i have too much music? i dont know. i cant even open the music folder now. ugh. i dont want to lose all my pictures and music.
ah technology. gives me headache.
I thought I was a fool for no one Ooh baby I'm a fool for you You're the queen of the superficial How long before you tell the truth
it makes me move my head left and right, left and right.
commercial songs are the bomb. especially Apple commercials.
went Christmas shopping with Mummy. MNG was on mega-sale and we bought dresses and waistcoats. then, we bought heels that looks something like THESE click clickChloe ones. and i listen to Feist and dance in them, spinning round and round in my flowy chiffon MNG dresses. i am super happy.
little brother has a ipod now. i was alittle jealous when mummy actually said "i'll take it" just after looking at them in the Apple store. well, i have my Lovelle. but Sexy Cleopetra is still against itunes (even version 7) so i cant sync anything. which means all the new songs i have are still not in Lovelle too and no songs for him. need somebody's external hard disk to put all my songs in, so then i can give them to someone with a decent itunes and sync to Lovelle and Da' Freeze (heh. i named Brother's ipod since it's silver and i am reminded of ice.). now school's out, no one tech-savvy is near me.
that was days ago before i fell super sick. and i think it's Sexy Cleopetra's problem cause itunes work perfectly alright in another laptop so i am worried that it might die and i lose all my songs and pictures and whatnots. i thought technology is suppose to help us, but i guess when we get too dependant on something, it turns into a vice and we only have ourselves to blame.
holidays is a scam cause i have been going back to school to do projects and deal with Disney application nonsense. and when you are not feeling well, it is irritating to have to travel. the new malaysian custom is Ginormous like some airport or convention centre! not so good for lazy sick people like me either. ugh. i am so cranky right now.
watched Twilight for the second time, with the intense making out scene. AWESOME really.
need to get drugged and drowned in water, which apparently helps the sick in all miraculous way. bye.
Sahaa says: "Oh no , 2 weeks without your voice gonna suck :( "
strangely that made me smile and there's a warm fuzzy feeling inside cause if it was someone else, i would usually register sarcasm and flinch.
i made up a new club, tagging at Amber's blog today. The We're-Mad-About-Twilight-Cause-the-Guys-Living-In-Our-World-Aint-Close-To-Being-HOT-Like-Edward Club. very very true. though the flick isnt half as good as the books, just go watch to swoon over the cast and set please.
i've come to terms with the FOUR horrendous kilograms, but all my darlings still love me so i am good. as in not stabbing myself, but still gotta lose it all away duh. i am waiting for a trip to the market for some organic vege and fruits, but meanwhile i am chomping on apples and oranges and water and milk and eggs. i might stop eating meat, but i had sausages with my eggs and i dont believe i can be a herbivore cause even at my omnivorous state, i am more carnivorous. does this all make any sense?
oh well, CABANA tonight with The Boys and Jialin honey before everybody goes off for some three-day trip around KL, Penang and Malacca or Singapore or just moping around at home and making time for other friends. ha. we have been meeting every single day like a couple in young, passionate love. so it's all tip-top for some breather until well, mid next week and it'll all start again and plans for our Christmas partayee.and definitely, i will get back my old bod by then.
okay need to go condition my hair before shampooing it. try it, a good way to get soft silky hair but maintaining your natural waves or curls when it's air-dried. it's horrible when i condition after shampooing and my hair's all silky but limp. so i develop this quirky way and have soft, silky but voluminous wavy hair. wheeeee.
i might get cheated of 19.50 cause i transferred the cash to the person and didnt take a receipt and that person hasnt replied my email after i told her the whole receipt issue. ugh.
update when i get back. hopefully there are actually pictures.
i lovelovelove my F21 bow hairband. one black one silver for just seven dollars.
let Orlando come sooon. i need to shop.
my scale is working; i gained FOUR kgs in just one week. i was screaming when i weighted myself, and this time my mummy let me. now the scale's in the middle of the living room, and i keep weighing and screaming and well, planning to lose all these extra fats. i am like FIVE kgs away from being a 55. not good.
this totally puts me back on the Bimbo meters.
sorry, whichever anonymous who commented (oh, do comment again to tell me who you are) :
"Seriously, stop saying you're fat. You're hardly close to being so.
Don't be delusional please."
i think I AM FAT. so, i need to keep acknowledging this fact (again and again) and then exercise. ugh i hate that i need to run and all; it's like primary six all over again. the nightmare period.
1:20 am - well, as yummy the LUT LUT (just got home from a session. hai.) is, i am laying off supper and all other unneccessary meals. it's back to ONE MEAL A DAY AND EXERCISES.
it's officially. i am super fat and i have love handles. but strangely, i dont really feel panicky about it cause i know when the boys go back to their own businesses overseas, i will lose all these happy (somewhat) weight cause i will be emo and lonely and not so entertained that my focus for staying lean gets diverted and i keep gobbling down premier food whilst laughing too loudly. besides i might be suffering over at Orlando next year for all we know. might as well pack some top-notch quality chow to go.
i am very good at consoling and comforting myself.
anyways, that day when we (more like eu ginn driving us la) were driving back from singapore, we saw this car taking a short cut and we followed suit, not seeing that (i only saw them just now) the arrows are pointing opposite to our direction - one way you know. and it ends up that person works for the immigration so we were stuck infront of the employee's gate cause the car has already gone in with the man tapping his auto-card and the gate opening then closing. so we were stuck at that one-way lane and people were driving to get their passports checked right beside us separated by a line of barriers. what to do, the lane is too narrow to u-turn, so junyou and i went down and got this officer to push the plastic barrier away and we manage to cut the line. i do not recommend this for anybody to try, and it was not our initial intention to cut the line duh. but that was such a Gossip Girl moment and i am secretly very proud of us for being capable of it. heh.
and today i commented that a SGD 1620 Lanvin top was "cheap" because i thought junyou said 162. thank god i did not add the following comment i had in my head - "it's almost a MNG's price range". phew. total bimbo moment; it would be way more embarrassing if i made that MNG comment. cause junyou said the salesperson's eyes were widen when i said it was "cheap". imagine if i start the whole "same price as MNG" charade in the store.
we have such mad adventures together i dont understand why we cant keep doing exciting things and skip the whole eating part. oh wait, i am not bothered with being fat. but yah, i even learnt to play mj and won a game or smth even when when teck yew was too preoccupied to guide me. see see. smartass.
i am suppose to be revising opera pms, but i have pms and i feel like sleeping or clubbing and drinking. it's just messed up how my life is about being fat. and seasonal fluctuating fun. why cant it be 24/7!
"Let It Rock" by Kevin Rudolf (muahaha.) featuring Lil' Wayne
06:30 - i really looked into the mirror (the past few days were whirlwind-dress-up sessions with the boys waiting for me in the car outside my gate or just downstairs where i can hear them grumble, so i had no time to check myself out.) and nearly screamed its smooth face cracked. my head swam when i focused on the huge foreign bulge from my tummy area and immediately i felt (and still feel) like a 55(kg). i swear i am nowhere near exaggeration even though there is no way to verify my actual weight since the scale is dead.
panicpanicpanic. i started looking for junyou's cardigan (believing that Calvin Klein can do wonders.) to hide ALL my fats in but then i returned it to him already. that set me into another wash of depression. to think i once swore to myself that i will not return to a 58. but now i can actually forsee bread-face tyng all over again. that pathetic enormous whale all lumped up at the corner (and over-spilling out of the corner of course) of the room in a party. it's just unbearable. i cant believe i actually let myself go completely, binging and stuffing my face with supper. i eat more than one cow every meal for the past few days. AHHH.
okay bimbo moment over. but throughout the journey to school, i was drowning in my insecurities and grieving for my lost far-from-a-bikini-bod-but-still-decent-enough er, body. i am having some serious case of pent-up hormones disorder. whyyyyyyyyyyy am i so FATTTTTTTTT.
okay, it's a DIET! i am ONLY eating HALF a meal a day.
i realise that i refuse to let myself be incompetent or better speaking, dependent cause i know that when i am being such a wimp or a no-backbone-r, i am heaving my loads onto someone else's back. and no, i refuse to let myself be in debt to anybody. and neither am i comfortable with leaving my shit for someone else to clear.
which is why usually in the end, i am the one clearing all the berak barang-barang. and you cannot start to imagine and believe the nonsensical hell-holes some of the fucktards in this world leave and would leave for you.
happy december everybody. i have been mia for oh-so long now that the net doesnt interest me that much anymore. i keep forgetting my true purpose of finishing up my projects and end up facebook-ing photos. it's truely a bitch having my friends bumming around while i have too many loose ends to tie up in school.
i just want to fly off to orlando this instant. well maybe after a huge-ass party.
right now stuffing myself with prune-like grapes which are not soft and soggy but crispy somewhat, i feel like i am ready for some adventure, some action, some fun. i hate guilt, boredom, stagnant. why am i back here again, i have no idea.
i just cannot wait for the two weeks' break and hopefully i am able to squeeze in more excitement than possible. cause right now, i feel like i want to just skip school and let my classmates mark me down for free-riding on the stupid projects. maybe some pre-christmas booze and ALL DIFFERENT TYPES OF POST CEREALS (ooh, banana nut crunch, blueberry morning, shredded wheat. mmm.) afterwards.
BUT I LOVE WAFFLES CRISPS BEST!
been stuffing my face with too much food, i think i am growing fatter and fatter and fatter. and fatter. it doesnt help that the scale at home is spoilt cause my brother kicked it accidentally down the stairs. why is everything going mad!
p.s. go see VS '08 on youtube. Sexyback still goes uber well. okay so maybe William aint that bad either. every this time of the year, i start to doubt my sexual orientation all over again. muahaha.
i havent eaten anything since around 2 p.m just now. i feel so thin thin think. whee.
i dislike my sneaky brothers to a large extent. GRRR
they went to watch Twilight with their church friends (this is so debatable. i thought Christians are suppose to stay away from supernatural things like Harry Potter or vampires or ghosts uh! uh! uh!), and came home marvelling how wonderful it was.
my mummy thought i had finally gone over-the-line insane with my covering of ears and running about, screaming then followed by chantings of "lalala" every five minutes. i guess she still hasnt gotten over the fact that she has given birth to a melodramatic daughter with more than one loose nut in the head.
i have spaced all these sentences out because i am making a point.
there goes all the stress-reliever from the facial earlier this afternoon. i am totally upset now cause the desire to rush to the cinemas had to be restrained with a promise made to my favourite HB Hearts. yes, loyalty to my friends.
okay, it isnt entirely that. it's also cause i have a tons of projects to do and i am having an untimely writer's block. which means staring at the blank word document and not generating anything. i am so afraid za will decapitate me if there is still a blank page for my part this tues. not to mention the human resource test also this tuesday. which bores me. really sleep-inducing i tell you.
need the holidays need money need to shop need green tea ice cream need forever21 yellow fedora and purple headband need friends need more happiness need to sleep need fashion need to own a library and a cinema and a 'That CD Shop' need to slack and lepak around somewhere nice need to be a tourist and visit Haji Lane need to club need to dance need to drink need to not worry need a tok-kong camera need to take pictures to document my life and raging emotions need to get what i want.
muahaa generally i am not thinking about all those pesky things.
ooh, i love Jude Law in the Dior fragrance commercial.
and Gabriel Aubry in Hugo Boss
and Jamie Dornan in Dior.
so many hotties. yummmyyy.
my blog layout suits my usual state of mind. dreamy and blurred. soft and peaceful. muahaha. okay not entirely true.
this week has been HECTIC, i dont know why, just mentally draininggg. i didnt get my usual Wednesday sleep, so technically i have been sleeping only four hours maximum per night for four nights. which explains why i crashed straight after i got home from town with my HB Hearts.
and right now i still havent slept enough even after 15 hours. hehe. i think if there was a kind of monetary reward for sleeping hours clocked, i might be really rich. but mainly i love sleeping to enjoy that moment of waking up leisurely with the purr of the air conditioner and the soft light filtering through the windows and murky rays (for waking up after noon) or golden rays (for mornings) pour over my blankets. hmm, wonderful.
it's, of course, not all work and no play this week.
wednesday - after mice meeting; visited Chinatown, pretending to be tourists with my HB Hearts. i kind of love that place, and i bought $3 flip flops which are tres comfy. and this vintage poster of a shanghai woman and her dog. then i realise i cannot wear hats cause they'll look weird. this saddens me cause well, i dont really like it that i cannot do something. especially when it deprives me of one very very trendy aspect of fashion.
thursday -
$3 from China town!
yes, Disney spirit!
i have an obsession for ribbons.
yesterday - was henna, bought a star-"studded" dress, more hat-trying and i found a Forever21 yellow one which is XS so it fits my head, and there's this ultra cute hairband in purple. i want i want i want but i am running low on cash cause i want to save up for the Disney trip. and ben angered me when he bought a zara hat which looked so good on him and huiying and g and uncle and jo and everybody but me. dinner at California Pizza Kitchen was more than enjoyable; i need to go back. i overrated myself with the yellow mng dress and a white-and-yellow bow on my right wrist. if i had a camera, i would camwhore. wenlin called me a Barbie Doll. ha. now i do hope that's a compliment though her reasons were along the line of "want to strip you". -.- i have horny dirty friends classmates (yes, classmates only).
i think peis and i are clicking on a whole new mutual understanding level. i was marvelling at how her msn nick totally describes my inner tribulations, conflicts, "battle of the emotions". though i am deadly envious of how she has erhem who i believe is equally interested in her and that they will be hitched by Christmas, we're still on this mutual platform about longing, wanting and you know what i mean.
if only my desires are well/easily matched by reality. i dont even ask for any highs or kicks out of life; i just want what i want.
anyways, I GOT OFFERED THE DISNEY ATTACHMENT. i suppose i am going ahead to take it, though right now, i am not so keen about it as i was.i wonder why. and funny, cause suddenly i lost all interest in everything. maybe maybe maybe i am broken again. okay, no. i am just deadly bored with life. and that i didnt get to eat any green tea icecream or sugar-coated crust of the apple strudel. ok, it's not really that either. back to disney, i think almost everybody who interviewed got the bloody offer. so much for exclusivity. okay why am i grumbling.
i need to be happier about my life. and maybe this six months in Orlando (ugh) will change my perspectives about things and i know i cant wait maybe i cant wait to be more independent than i am right now. okay this all sounds wrong.
okay i think it's pms. and it doesnt help that my stupid disc drive is all weirded up! whyy am i not more tech-savvy.
nothing gives you the ultimateChristmas-y feeling than walking around the mall! even starbucks have snowflakes printed on their cups already and body shop staff are decked in red tees and shimmery eye makeup! makes me all anticipating how this year's will be like for me (now that market value's looking pretty upped). then again, i would need to worry about what to wear. it wouldnt be such a pain if i had more choices you know.
sidetracking, mummy's concert went top-notch despite my failed attempts to connect Foxy Cleopetra to the projector. so there goes the wonderful slideshow i had put together pfft. disappointinggg. there's always next year i know. meanwhile, i need to figure the problem out. hah, like i can!
neeways, today was awesome shopping with mummy after our nap haha. though i didnt get those tribal, red-indian sandals i wanted cause there was only size 9 left!!
i got another pair of MNG shades! havent got round to taking any pictures, but here's the shades!
muahaha, it's semi-cheetah printed inside!
should i go back to bangs? i want to look like the model. somewhat.
i love the new collection! especially this look! too bad they dont sell the pieces!
(grumbles)
not bad! but super loose. why no XS!
i might wear this when i am 23. super matured but wow, it shows off a woman's contours! (me love my brown hair. hehe.)
need new clothes soon! wonder why i cant seem to find things that catches my eye. i just keep buying shades and accessories. which is pretty idiotic if i have nothing else to wear. i cant possibly wear the accessories naked right? ugh, not a pretty sight. meanwhile, mummy's going on about all the new skincare i need. and shoot, i forgot to buy shampoo again. man, now imagine me. hair smelling like some men's shampoo, with no clothes but skincare, makeup and accessories. NUTS.
(i love the Circus theme at the MNG website. and of course, the Frosty Winterland one at Agnes B.)
oh mummy, get me that supp card soon so i can get into clubs freee.
p.s. why does that stupid Agnes B. bracelet costs over $200 SGD! not sensible pricing i tell you! stupid cleo features expensive stuff!
p.p.s. OHMYTIAN I NEED A FRIGGIN NEW WALLET! the current one's disintegrating and i cant bear to buy a new one cause i dont want to spend cash on something i cant decide if i will love. hard to find one i love.
p.p.p.s. i finished Breaking Dawn! now i am getting ready to dig my nails into my legs so i wont run into the cinemas and watch the effing movie 27th Nov. you guys are buying me popcorn 28th Dec, Sahaa and Peis!
i just found out that malaysia's screening of the Twilight movie is wayy nearer than i had expected. 27th November, darlings. like two full weeks (give and take) earlier compared to singapore's!
but nuuuu. i CANNOT (gasps) go skipping into the cinemas because Sahaa threatened to kill me and Peis naturally insisted that i am "not to watch". i forsee myself staring at the cinema, drooling, whenever i shop around during weekends, and curse the authorities for bringing it in earlier than singapore.(you good la, you.)
ohmygodddd. i need to watch the movie now now now now now! it so doesnt help that when i read reviews, it was said that the girls who were there for the Midnight Premiere screamed people's ears deaf. imagine me there. hehe.
this is my best wallpaper, i tell you. it's in tiles muahaha!
i dont know if it's because the cold's distracting me, but i am feeling a whole lot better emotionally. it's sorta weird how the whole mood swing from here to there, but i am not intending to overthink it as much. i am sick and i need as much rest as i can get. nevertheless, i am counting on things to get better and better.
i know i shouldnt but i still do. this is the part of me that never dies no matter how many times somebody kills it. yes, even i get irritated at myself.
well, even though feeling down sucks, i have to admit, i like listening to emo songs. scrolling through Lovelle, i have quite a collection. so the whole day (more like half cause i woke up only around three) was spent on the comfy reading chair with Breaking Dawn, some chamomile honey tea to clear my block nose, and all the emo songs i can find compiled into one playlist, playing in the background. at that moment, with the wind blowing in, i know i am alright. i was holding on fine; even without a pair of strong arms to hold me, or the warmth of somebody's breath to fight the cold. i liked being alone.
bah! i am less bitter, dont worry.
ha topshop paper clip as hair clip! i am highly animated.
bitter woman! that would be me. not za.
super interesting eye mask in the shape and looks of cucumbers. dont tell my mum i took a picture of her.
if you read the Twilight saga and is bothered enough to further research on the little mentions of poems, i figure you might have touched on quite a fair bit of famous works from Shakespeare, Robert Frost, Tennyson etc. some of my favourites!
i truly love Stephanie Meyer. her books are a must-read! that includes the new adult fiction, The Host. which i will get round to after Breaking Dawn. haha. maybe i aint so bitter afterall eh.
p.s i was at the Stephanie Meyer official website and i found out that she has the exact same actor in mind for the role of Jacob Black as i do!
remember Steven Strait from The Covenant, Sky High and 10,000 BC?
DK's msn nickname - "Be Careful Who You Dance With" - slapped me hard, twice over. ugh, so true. true enough.
my mood has maintained its new low point the entire day, ever since last night. i know it's not the best of times to be fretting about anything else part from my Destination & Attractions Management test tomorrow, but i cant control my emotions and they overrule anything. i am not really comforted at any point of time. i felt tormented and agonised. i was in the basement, with no lift, escalator nor stairs. worst thing is, that person might not even know what he has done to me.
and well, cause you say things here and people read, another 'he' assumes things and here comes another burden to my heavy heart. i am not a fan of being accused. and i thought i should make it perfectly clear how i am not a forgiving nor forgetting person. oh, and how i am turned off easily. and how petty i get. how i love to shut people out without giving them another chance to explain, to talk, to change; to hurt me again. and also how i judge and criticise people, and then most probably stick to that 'assumption' for life, cause i usually keep an open mind when i meet new people and i believe that i can successfully understand them very well. so i have faith in my judgement and that is why i am confident that i am not wrong. and even if i am, i dont care cause it's my life and i live it for me. so what if i just decide that i dont want to be friends with the future president. argh, rants rants rants. no comments please.
"Take A Bow" has been on repeat for the 40th time now. maybe i should buy a house and live with the other three members - huiying, jo and nee - of the Bitter Women's Club. if they havent got out of the misery by that time. or else, it's just me with 375 cats, and i dont even like cats.
ah, as if no mental misery is incomplete with the physical ailments, my body is coming down with influenza.
p.s. yes jo, i know. a passerby in my life. but i didnt want him to be just that. ):
i dont know about you, but i am highly unsatisfied with the available msn statuses. i mean, sometimes "Busy" and "Away" are just not enough to state clearly what exactly the other party is up to. i realise i need a "Day-dreaming" or "Dont Wish To Talk To Just Anyone" or "Dont Click Unless I Initiate A Conversation" or "Distracted" or "Doing Tutorial".. you get my drift.
i was in total daydream mode today. after the pathetic one.point.five hours of tutorial, the weather was beckoning me to sit myself down somewhere and just watch the world go by. unfortunately, the stupid rain caught up and nobody was up to accompany me. so i made my way to starbucks and it was just me.
i dont know if this is common for you guys, but whenever i want to be alone, somebody has to intrude. one male staff there told me i look "dreamy" while cleaning the table next to mine. (i wondered for a second if that was a compliment) not to entangle myself in anything else, i murmured a "thanks" and turned back to my laptop, reading Midnight Sun Chapter One. (i desire the book so bad i want to hunt the idiot who stole the transcript down, and bite his head off.) green tea frap was awesome, but i was basically shivering in the cold that i had to have some hot lemonade-ish tea after. not very good for the body right now, i am feeling hyped.
of course, i manage to find a replacement for my missing leather cuff bracelet. i am just trying to be less picky about how the leather seems more flimsy and not as thick as my missing one. this is why i hate losing things; i can never forget the original to really embrace the new. that is also why i have tons of old things in my closet.
oh. a million things in my head, a thousand to kick out and a hundred to remember. Adele is perfect for rainy starbucks session. how i wish i could sit there all day.
-
i am watching this show about celebrities talking about their fears. (i shant comment about how idiotic some of them are: think rabbits, cats, birds. worst of all, eggs?!! really makes me want to scream profanities at the telly.)
come to think of it, i dont really FEAR anything. i dislike fishes cause they stink, both dead or alive. i find lizards yucky. and bursting of balloon and scratching of styrofoam are just irritating.
my mummy's comment to this is: "Girls who dont have fears will usually have trouble getting a boyfriend". pfft. yah, so that's one other reason why i am to be left on the shelf with 345 cats and 253 dogs eh.
here are the pictures! courtesy of well, my lousy phone and za's tad better Omnia. haha.
eliza's doing, who eagerly sent me it upon hearing that i want to post the pictures up. -.-
it was best club experience so far(a contender among the three pathetic times?! hah. yes, good girl tyng.), despite G's lost necklace pendant and my leather cuff bracelet! and also, even though that effing dj from the US really messed up. grooves that were hard to dance to, tsk. sean provided a technical explanation to it at some point in school today, but nyah, i was too distracted to comprehend.
the Disney Interview went supposedly okay, and sean was well, sean and quite a pleasure to be paired with. not to metion Sue Sharpe was warming? but i was fighting hard not to cringe when i watched the Disney introduction video; guess i dont deal well with over-friendly people and their plastered grins. you think i was cheery eh, they made us all look bitter. it made me happy that my braces are off. the rest of the day that followed was a meaningless bleak cause i never used my brain for anything. it was all focused on the interview.
James Bond re-run is on channel five. the bad character - woman - is smoking hot. and Denise Richards when she was younger. yummy yummy. okay, got to go try cram law into my head again. i am getting useless at this studying thing.
how i wish tomorrow, okay today, is just another day of school. but nuuue, i have to be interviewd by Miss Sue Sharpe (wonder if she has a sharp tongue. geddit? haha okay, lame.) with Sean since it's in pairs. (so many 'S's.) i just know i need to be more than alert, i need to be on the tips of my toes. but right now i cant even stand straight on my soles. -.- not very good.
i tend to have this single obsession for one song. the past few days was "Eternal Flame" by the Bangles. today, "Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow" by The Shirelles. Carole King's version's not as catchy.
mixed emotions are funny. i think my heart got semi-broken tonight, but distraction was around so it hasnt really hit me. then again, i know it shouldnt even hit me at all cause that would be stupid - being hurt by some moron.
oh yah, Knut died. i think. goodbye.
p.s. Phuture pictures are up on Facebook and Friendster. maybe i'll post them here too. depends.
esplanade and marina square is the sex. yah, high school musical was great too.
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i am sorry it's all me and i am sorry i am a bad person. sometimes you just cant force your heart to do things the way they are supposed to be done. what can i do other than feel guilty and apologise.
plunging into love a relationship has never been my kind of thing. i consider this aspect of my life so thoroughly that all my sensibility is used up. (therefore in the other areas, i am a major klutz.) i just cant get into something with someone knowing that i will be taken away with just a snap of the fingers. that would make me a Slut. so rather than being a Slut, i choose to be Difficult, Play-Hard-To-Get, Bitter Virgin (touchwood.)
ok i am going to cram law into my head. fill it up fill it up till i club. i guess what attracts me the most about it is that nothing else matters once you're in; drowned in the beats, drowned in new-found sins so lethal nothing else is as notorious. Sin City.
p.s i dont get why once in a relationship, one has to avoid the clubs. i mean, if there's the will, there's a way.
bitter woman! that would be me. not za.
