the wicked cycle has to go on.

the wicked cycle has to go on.


i've got the waves of emo again (prolly cause i dont have to do anything all day as THE GRANDPARENTS are here, taking charge and pampering. three cheers to spoilt princess!). think think think. blame blame blame. hope hope hope. pensive pensive pensive. imagine imagine imagine. tear tear tear.


i'd swear it's the menstrual but i dont really know my issue anymore. i am guilty of advising someone to dump her boyfriend to get her out of the misery that jerk was giving her. but when i saw her on friday, the weak smile shattered me and my seemingly selfish assumption that she would be better off without him, like many thought so too. breakups are always the hardest way to settle a problem, but people are taking it so lightly nowadays that sometimes, i too forget it isnt a light-hearted solution at all.


maybe people are making more and thicker masks for their 'performances' these times. shrugging all true emotions away and continuing with the wicked cycle that has to go on. and then, it's one lover after the another like socks are to be changed after being worn once. it's either this, or to never start getting into the whole dating scene. i am disappointed in everything. all i want is for all my friends to be happily in love with their respective dream guys and may the love, excitement and passion never subside. judging from cupid's expression, that never happens in real life.


and i think it's time i stop thinking about things that never happen in real life. it leaves me broken in the end, and i feel like the whole world has cheated on me. and i just want to be violent and stab people or beat the crap out of them at least. i chanced upon smallville on cable and it was this episode where lana nodded at someone's comment of clark being a "loser" or something. you know what? i hate lana for being such a bitch, tormenting clark throughout all seasons of smallville. though they might end up all lovey-dovey, i think she is an idiotic asshole who doesnt know anything. ahh.


similarly, i was out for dinner and i saw a girlfriend abusing her boyfriend by giving him ugly bitter faces and pushing away all his kind acts of putting food on her plate etc. he even held her hot pink hello kitty (i am so used to twits-exposure in jb that i am immunised to them, and always managed to cease myself from barfing my guts out. (: ) when they left the restaurant. another bitch. ah well. i have been educated there are full of them out there.



i am hoping shopping bonanza with mummy tomorrow happens. i desperately need new clothes and shoes and hopefully, a bag or two. i am giving in to the seduction of all the glossy pictures of high fashion in bazaar and vogue.

so meanwhile i search for the perfect RICH and (let's not forget) GENEROUS boyfriend, i have to live off my beloved mother, who's as much of a shopaholic as i am. (i thank Him who's above every single second for giving me a fashionable mother who shares the figure i have and we can exchange shoes and everything.)






shit. now, i crave starbucks and i wish i have an outlet in my house.

mickie finally revealed her blog :

http://getaloadof-this.blogspot.com/ .

hahaha it is real enlightening.


"Stick and stones may break my bones, but words hurt even more than stones."


LOVE YOU, MICKIE! UPDATE OFTEN!

Y





ta-ta.

xoxo.

i am a coward who doesnt have the guts to face you at all.

everything was sweeter with you sweets.

honey days with you sweets.


i admit, i'd put much thought in my outfit today. i confess, i'd specially wet my mac square tip brush to draw my turquoise eyeliner (it turned out awesome!). hahaha. i was in such a gelare mood the whole day that nothing could annoy me, not even squatting muts who hoped for lung cancer and whistled at me at the same time. (and i got 18.5/20 for stats! hahahahaahhaha.) i basically floated around and dashed to cp after accounts ended.


even though it was short, but damn, i think i've got diabetes coming. it was THAT sweet. i got tears welling up when i hugged mickie and ting. i just cant quit the whole drama queen issue. and besides, the whole missing-them came rushing in. thank god there wasnt any awkwardness. i just went ballistic. hahah.


we didnt cam-whore, cause jas had oral and she claimed she had "ugly hair" (suits me. i have bad hair too.). BUT WE'RE TOWNING MON! they've got youth day, and i shant repeat the whole fuck-i-am-young-so-why-i-still-got-poly thingy. moe is UNFAIR and i hate them. but thank god, i finish at one, so orchard! prepare for laughter! and ants (cause we're sweet and it attracts ants.)! hahahahhaha.


well, i am sleepy for i didnt sleep well last night as baby is making a big fuss outside, i think maybe there were ah bengs outside, so he barked like the whole night and i had to hear him. i shall go dream about rocky mountains marshmallows and hard choc-coating and mickie's oven and the mess in her kitchen.

those days were the best.

dedicated to you, my hons.

and, i SHANT be reminded about

how i smacked my accounts

lecturer in the face by accident

today. as usual, i was dramatizing

my words.

all blames to nur!

ta-ta.

xoxo.


i saw the most romantic msn nick and i wish i was the girl or something like this will just happen to me already. nick goes:

she said, "are you crazy, you dont even know me." i said,"i know, but i'd like to change that soon hopefully."

it does suck to be single. but at least there's no one keeping you from ladies' night. i guess.


love loads to liz.

i will never be an accountant.

i will NEVER be an accountant.


i had only one pathetic tutorial today. so i came to school at 4, just for the attendance, and i think know all that i'll do is fiddle with my lappie and do ANY OTHER STUFF THAT HAS ABSO-NO RELEVANCE TO ACCOUNTINGS (like now.) for 2 hours and i can leave.. and well, go back home. no big deal to you, but it's a great one for me. and this totally reminds me of how i suck at accountings and how i am not trying to be better at it, and how some other psycho bimbo and her clones who share the same IQ weightage "want to be the hottest accountant(s)" and go "shopping in bangkok". oh yes, i am in a cranky mood. and i am spouting nonsense that might land me into trouble, which i dont think is all that bad of a thing, considering all i do nowadays is stone in poly and at home. so i guess you guys are prolly sick of me complaining about my screwed up boring and dull life, like i am some poor little rich girl but i am not cause i dont see greens anywhere in my purse, and besides, my life is indeed and definitely rated a "F" if life's a huge, fat bitch of an exam and everybody's assessed based on the fun/talent/accomplishments they have.


i know, i sound totally sore and sour. but what i complain is as true as the fact that the earth is round. i have trouble finding a talent, this one good thing that i am good at. it's like i am NOT pretty, sexy, intelligent, intellectual, smart, a good dancer, a good singer, a good student, a popular, fun, special, fashionable, thin, etc. i am not anything at all. and all i see when i look into the mirror, is boring ol' tyng who doesnt have fun stuff to do or a tight schedule cause everybody's her friend and they all want to spend time with her, and always bothered and haunted by the demons of her imagination/expectations/wants/needs/mind/heart. yes, i told you and i will tell you again, i am an insecure attention-seeker/lover. so that's the way i am and i dont want to be left alone in a corner of my msian home when my friends have fun while i am not with them; and i think that makes me absolutely friendless cause i dont see myself going/asked out with people often, not at all even. and i think i should shut up now, cause i am too demented and broken for anybody's sake. and i might get beaten up for being such an emo freak and i should prolly write a book that's only readable for emo comrades alike, or maybe it'll end up making them decide to be normal again since i am too emo-disgusting for them even.



am i pissing you off now?



i want to quit poly and move to aussie/anywhere overseas that has no yellow-skins to study drama or journalism or literature and cook my own meals and freeze my ass off and drool over other rich kids' burberry/prada/dior etc and exercise till i dehydrate to get the blubber off my waist and tighs and then sashay on the streets in victoria secret and date hot rich guys who pay for my everything and then let other people turn green for my tiffany's/ferragamo/versace/diane von furstenberg/chanel/mercs and attend all the parties.


sometimes, i think i get bored of things too fast, and that makes me such an emo-ass that eventually, i piss everybody off and away. i guess i'll never learn to cherish the things i have. i am grounchy and grumpy and never contented when my better mood swings away. i am too random i hate myself. i guess i HAVE changed, to be more UN-bubbly and matured and pensive.




anyways, anyone interested: deafcon, 3pm,

next saturday the 7th. ten bucks at dxo

esplanade. i am seeking for company.

ting? jas?




ta-ta.

xoxo.

harder than ever.

harder than ever.


well, i havent actually got round to doing self-reflections ever since.. never. hahha. remember those days in secondary school when we go on an excursion or study trip or whatever, and we get back all excited and ready to go out with our besties since it's still early and we're not in stiff shirts but comfy tees with folded sleeves. but the teachers have to make us fill in some reflection forms before letting us off. at that time, i rarely spill my sincere guts like how i would like to do for the excitement and all just pushes me to scribble and tick like i've never done it before. ahh, so nostalgic. anyways, memories aside, i got to say, recently, many things got me thinking and of course, reflecting.




reflection one: strangely, i dont think i am that much older or superior than the sec school students are. bluntly speaking, i actually was feasting on the (oddly influx of) array of eye candies in their differently colored uniforms. when i was in bp, it was only natural for me to 'check out' any hottie in uniforms like i am. (i was never excited about the older guys already in jcs or polys.) but now, when i look at hot/cute guys in uniforms, i feel awfully guilty, for being kind of a paedophile. after the reality of being a POLY STUDENT suddenly struck me in the head hard, that is. i remember this hottie from this secondary school who i usually see in the checkpoints when i was in bp. so naturally, i looked (apply tyng's similarly-in-uniform-so-go-for-it theory.). then yesterday when i saw him again, he was STILL in sec school uniform. that totally plunged me. am i really a paedophile?! i am suppose to like older guys, and i usually date older guys anyways.


tsk. deem me the victim of the times. but tradition roots and i have every persuasive reason to support the fact that women should choose older men. one for instance, women - no matter how much we deny and counterfight - ages faster than men. that is why by the times we're forty, the men we show off in parties like the perfect accessories that they are, have to accentuate our youth and beauty. or at least DOESNT highlight our deepening wrinkles and fading hotness. just in comparison, we still look young and fresh. no one really cares about the facts.


just as i am typing, a guy in smart wear walked into the room. and for a moment, i am weirded out by the fact that i am studying in a school that comprises of being donned in formal office wear. and you know what? i also havent gotten to the fact that now, i am suppose to toss that tyng's similarly-in-uniform-so-go-for-it theory and start looking at these men. ugh. men! how can i like men, so responsible and matured and.. old. (maybe this is why i havent agreed to any dates. hmm. like a phobia of older people/poly guys.)





you know what? just totally ignore all that i have posted above. i am bored and absent from blogging, so i thought i should compensate with a long post. until it turned out to be abso-crap. so scratch all that (i dont mind if you wanna read it though. hahhaa.) and hear my main point:


i am having it bad with the transition from

sec school to poly. in all departments.



i went to school without a head scarf to hide my ugly fringe unlike yesterday. i guess it was ok, but i feel uncomfy nevertheless (mental scream: i want my traditional hair backkkk!). i have been reflecting (hahaha.) on my clothing nowadays. and guess what? i am a slob. totally. it's like i rarely plan a cute outfit so i only end up looking good depending on every other factors but my contribution. which totally maximises the probability of ending up mediocre and i dont like that. also, i carry a converse backpack almost every day due to the lack of discipline to find a durable and hot duffel which is able to bag my lappie and barang-barang. and THAT, again, totallly maximises the probability of looking mediocre and i repeat, i dont like that at all. thus, i promise myself i will change. soon. when? i aint got any idea too. icas and major tests are coming up up up, so i have to mug - for real. i still remember my dream/goal of getting that internship in orlando's disneyworld for 6 whole freaking months (i even made a who-i-wish-to-live-with-for-6-months-in-florida list. hahahhaha!). which reminds me, i have to tone my bod for that too.






ahhh. so many things to do, so little discipline (er hm.) time.





special:

introducing my best guy friend, YIYAO!

i abso-LOVE your profound english and of course,
your mutual love for me. hahaha. i look up to you as
my idol always, honey!


egs.

yiyao: i proposed an answer key to the HOD of GP today when I did my midyear compre. lol i miss you guy shtloads! lol

yiyao: and euginn's KNOWN you for 12 years right!! that's longer that the no. of years I've known myself!! :O

yiyao: tyng, appreciate the minors who try to bring up atavistic art forms that absolutely reek of cliche twit language.

yiyao: OHOHOH flamer. I LURVE. hah. i won't deny fat girl the veracity she's been waiting for ever since she'd first laid blubber with her blabber here : welovetyng, wehaterotundity.

yiyao: and tyng is the antonym of rotundity asforementioned. But u. please. do not redefine "fat" for us. our definition is currently, YOU.




(kneel and bow repeatedly, chanting "i am inferior".) i think i am off to read my oxford and cambridge, BOTH, now.

ta-ta.

xoxo.

it's been the devil all along.

it's been the devil all along.


i am so looking forward to school coming mon. honestly. the days of pure sweetness, spent with the lovelies and other valuable company. bumming around has indeed been.. pressurizing. especially when my mummy gets all whored-up with me for waking up at 2 in the afternoon, and never getting over my "laziness" or total ignorance/oblivion to the happenings of the house which bluntly included my bros' meals and the maid's non-existence initiative to do more work. what she doesnt know is me suffering from insomnia so bad that i couldnt get any wink except until 5, at the crack of dawn. being forbade of sleep is indeed cracking me, well, not as much as THAT and the abso-fugliness of my hair. ah well.



i finally got round to getting out. just for lunch. with the ugly hair. then again, no one was looking and truthfully, i didnt give a fuck what they might think (this is so heartfelt considering i was in levis and a tee, both left to rot on my chair after i wore them last week.).

you thought it would do me some good, getting fresh air and stuff. but NAH. i nearly got round from mental to physical killing of everybody who stepped on my toes, which eventually narrowed down to the fat girl donning a cheapo mini in front, engaging in blinding PDA with her equally horrendous boyfriend (like i always say, that's mutual bad taste for you.). But it was, intrinsically, the self-pity and worthlessness and the familiar sense of depression i thought i've left behind. it wasn't supposed to be like this. things were supposed to be better and they were, if only for a while. but who am I kidding, really. it has always been around, this sucking swirling crippling vortex and subsistence relies solely on how well you deal. there's probably no cure for existentialist angst. ahh, shut up tyng.

p/s to fat girl: you might wanna get that kate moss/olsen twins/nicole richie look, but honestly, i dont really give a fuck if you got a boyfriend despite the too-obvious fact that you're humongous and that no one will ever get to accidentally sneak a peek at your undies cause your thighs totally blocked any pathetic possibilities, cause it's a fucking restaurant and somebody just wants to fucking finish their banana pancakes and be allowed a slight tinge of joy. so screw you and your thunderous elephant thighs, and get a bloody room with your blind cyclops. stop making everybody bulimic even before they ingest anything.

i just need a dose of sanity.






ta-ta.

xoxo.

bad bad bad bad badness.

bad bad bad bad badness.


it is always when i am in the dumps that i get a haircut. and it is always when it's back-to-school-soon that i get a haircut. by now, everybody should know that i am a nonsensical, insecure idiot and any inferior changes makes a great big fucking deal to me. i cant take the whole shit; i got a weak heart, i think it runs in the family considering.. but anyways. i am just here to say that life isnt getting any better for me. instead, things have totally just dipped and dropped right to the pit of the pits. and i am so fucking trying to be strong but nah. i am too tired and i'm caving in. i just HATE how everybody loves and lives to assume things for me. this all shit started with an assumption for "my own good". no surprise aint it? so my boyfriend assumed that i will have it better if we breakup now than let things be shitty and pining when he leaves; and my mum assumed i am a bum and doesnt do stuff or care; and the bloody fuck hairstylist assumed i wanted overdone layers and shitty bangs that sends me right into the realms of the twits! fuck you, i want to smash your head into the mirrors. i am raging! and i am vioelnt! ahhhh! what the world is wrong with them? what the fuck is their problem? so now i end up broken with every ounce of confidence shattered, a horrrible haircut, and tons of assumptions and their consequences weighing me down down down. it's so complicated it is able to send me right to being suicidal. i just want my life back. the life when i look, feel and am top-notch. who took that away from me? burn in hell, you. burn with the twits. i wont take it lying, even if hell freezes twice over.



SCREW YOU, VICTIMS OF THE TIMES.


sense my rage.




ta-ta.

xoxo.

sie lugt. warum?

sie lugt. warum?



i spent the day bumming around;
drowning myself in non-stop shuffles of heavy beats;
failing trying to read novels and pom with my fuzzed mind;
sketching fairies wings and wishing they will bring me to die.




my mother hasnt been very pleased with me, and i am pretty cranky myself. so it was calamity when i didnt keep my big mouth shut, and end up having no FUN passes and having to rot away at home with two non-ringing cells and a whole bunch of problems bugging the hell out of me. whee. life IS great.




talked to ting; it was awesome. I LOVE YOU and thanks for making me happier. i miss you like i am on the moon or something.

and of course, nur too. for the email and also msn. it does suck that i cant thon. i so want to be with worthy company. that means you lovelies.




the more i think of it, the suckier i find my life in msia. i got no friends and no fun. i cant wait to get back to school soon. never mind the icas and what shits. the whole social scene is enough to make me break into a grin. plus, i have to reply a text and many missed calls.

it is time to grab another boy.


i kind of want teddy geiger. hahaha.

it's not possible, yah. but someone like him, cute and can sing good? please wrap him up with red bow and deliver straight to my feet, cupid, you owe me. THANKS.

oh,

mika's song, billy brown, is hilarious.

"Oh Billy Brown had lived an ordinary life.
Two kids, a dog, and a cautionary wife.
While it was all going according to plan
Then Billy Brown fell in love with another man.
He met his lover almost every single day
Making excuses through his dodgy holiday
(Unto religion that he said and duty found
They didn’t know his faith was (earthic) bound)"

see what i mean? haha.




fine. fuck it.


i shall not try to make little pleasures out of the

pathetic life i am living right now anymore. my

highfalutin sickens me and the nadir of my

state-of-mind is barf-worthy. dont even mention

the awkwardness of my hahas.

life is miserable and in the dumps.









ta-ta.

xoxo.

we have met before,
in a blizzard on the moon.
take me back to those moments in childhood,
when every blade of grass is a revelation.

"we need to talk." (i almost barfed my heart out.)

"we need to talk."

(and i almost barfed my heart out.)




i dont wanna be a bitch that i usually am, and blame anyone or anything for it. i am a selfish tyrant and i have a no-one-breaks-up-with-me silent policy with my dignity, so this is alittle hard for me. right now. even though i know things wouldnt last eventually, but i just wanted it to fade away without promises of breakups or shit like that. i guess i wanted this relationship to fade into a friends-with-benefits or there's-a-kismet-present thing, no matter how absurd that sounds.

i knew nothing too good can happen to me. God, can i exchange good happenings to erase this bad one? i'll give you both my-encounter-with-a-senior-getting-my-number and escaped-from-braces'-pain-yet-again; both encounters of today.

oh fuck, i want to go to school.

and damn it, what do i do with the ring? i havent got dumped before, so this is making me as lost as ending up in outer space all of an abso-fuck sudden, and i need to learn how to breathe all over again.

now we know everything happens for a reason. i cant thon with my lovelies cause my mummy wouldnt let me cause she knew i would make a fool out of myself (most prolly by crying) when i get tipsy, after i got dumped.





My life, emotionally, is like a rollercoaster ride, no? Nah, I'm not talking about the adrenaline you get riding it. I'm only referring to the blood-pumping, vomit-inducing ups-and-downs and the horrid 360 degree loop-a-loopey-loops.





YAH. I AM PRETTY MUCH BROKEN.











WAIT, NO!



i will be fine tomorrow after a night's beauty sleep, that is IF i get to sleep. (shush! no emo thoughts!) OH, IT WILL BE FINE. I WILL BE GOOD. ooh la la. hee hee hee! what a wonderful world. do i sound better now? with the onomatopoeia and the exclamation marks? are you convinced?









ta-ta.

xoxo.


anyways, thanks liz.

retro-spect-acular.

retro-spect-acular.

i love this pair of 70's style shoes. but damn it. i had it bad in them today.

it sucked to have a huge blister. it sucked to stand with 4-inches in queue for 2 hours straight. it sucked to be surrounded by chinese accents all round.

BUT. it rocked to feast my eyes on a particular orange guy (hb ppl got this joke, trust me.). it rocked to overhear some guy telling his friend i am pretty hot. it rocked to see nur after so long.


i guess the pros and cons of today cancelled themselves out. so i aint complaining. it's just i am lazy to list other possibilities of both out. heeh.

it's off to the dental with braces allocation tomorrow. and i am pretty nervous/pissed/annoyed/irritated/anxious. watching old movies on foxy cleopatra didnt really help. will people think i am weird when i get them? will the pathetic little admirers (like 1?) i have reduce further? yah, i am pretty insecure and bimbotic and superficial at this point. i admit i am conventional at times and i just want myself to be prettier, not uglier. and getting braces is like taking a million steps back in both the made-up confidence and beauty ladders. i cant win, no matter how much i remind myself of the straight white pearls i'll get at the end of two years or less. sometimes, i just wanna reap without sowing. it's human nature right? okay i know, still doesn't absolve me of the taint of Slut.



regardless, thon thurs yah, lovelies?!






p/s: you are an ass, lim eu ginn! for saying:

"regarding your friendster photos, it's not your sunglasses that are big. it's that your head is small".

i will punch when we meet. but i got to say it might be true, since others look fine in my shades, so it must be the head. pfft. nevertheless.






ta-ta.

xoxo.

i am a post-lady.
i deliver painful realistic superficial to you.

excuse me while I kill myself trying to quell my paranoia over the words.
It's sick how I'm convinced there's an ulterior meaning to everything.

ancient flicks and cheesy romance.

ancient flicks and cheesy clips.


i spent the entire day watching movies and serials that i was hooked onto way back then. honestly, i dont think i'll ever get sick of these useless romantic fantasies that the characters depicted oh-so naturally. i guess girls are all like me: always ready to be foolishly bought over by a white lie or more convincing pick-up line. i dont think we'll ever change no matter how hard we train or educate ourselves; it's both a gift and a curse; sentiment and fragility.



anyways, i went on a personality quiz bonanza after my mummy hoarded the tv and i am worried foxy cleopatra might sizzle up. well, i found a couple of meaningful interesting ones. i aint got nothing to blog about anyways. being sick means no life and watery porridge. i crave sinful delights like anything right now. i hope hope hope to feel better! and i hope hope hope there are fun hidden somewhere in the near future before term break ends! ahhhhhhh. so bleak.




here we go:


In the realms of medieval fantasy

1. You are walking in a field of rolling green grass and the wind is blowing soothingly upon your face when you see a box in the middle of the field.
Is it
a. Open?
b. Closed?

2. As you walk by the box, you notice a horse patiently chewing grass. What color is it?
a. White
b. Brown
c. Black

3. A magical flight of steps appears before your eyes. Mesmerized, you notice that the staircase is leading
a. Up
b. Down

4. Unable to fight your burning curiosity, you take the flight of steps and enter a forest. It is hot but you walk on before realizing you have to cross a river to carry on your journey. The river is
a. Gushing along madly
b. Flowing at a normal pace
c. Meandering slowly.

5. When you have finished your meal, you feel tired and sleepy. So you trudge along the forest path until you spot a cottage. Upon entering the house, you see a wine glass. To what extent is the glass filled with wine?

6. You spend a night in the cottage and after waking up the next morning, you step out into the bright day and see a lake in the distance. How many swans are there in the pond?

If you are a girl, go to the next question. If you are a guy, go to question 8.

7. As you approach the pond to feed the swans, you see a knight clad in armor. As the knight takes off his helmet to greet you, you realize it is someone you know. Who is it?

8. As you approach the pond to feed the swans, you see a princess in royal robes. As the princess unveils herself to greet you, you realize it is someone you know. Who is it?


Results

1.This describes your personality.
a. Open-minded and somewhat extroverted. You talk freely to people.
b. Reserved and quiet. You do not like to share secrets.

2. This is the way you choose your mate.
a. You care about looks and personality
b. You do not care about looks, only personality.
c. You do not care about personality, only looks.

3. This is your outlook on life.
a. Optimistic
b. Pessimistic

4. This is your sex drive
a. Wild.
b. Average
c. Tame

5. This refers to how much you would put into a relationship; the more wine in the glass, the more dedicated you are.

6. The number of true loves you'll have in your life.

7 and 8. The person you will never get over or forget.


and


Hidden personality

1. What kind of chair do you prefer?
a. Cloth covered
b. Leather covered
c. Wood
d. Cushioned
e. One with a built-in massager

2. Tomorrow is Sunday. What are you going to do?
a. Stay home and take it easy
b. Go shopping
c. Do some sports
d. Go out for a walk
e. Stay in bed and catch up on my sleep

3. A box is lying in the road. What is inside?
a. An abandoned kitten
b. Garbage
c. Treasure
d. A surprise!
e. Nothing

4. What kind of present would you buy for a very close friend?
a. A handkerchief (Because your friend will be happy, no matter how many handkerchiefs he/she has already)

b. Something you like

c. Something your friend has been wanting

d. Something popular (the " latest thing")

e. Something hand-made or homemade

5. You want to cross a river, but there is no bridge in sight. What do you do?
a. Swim across
b. Build a raft
c. Search for a bridge
d. Search for a shallow spot to wade across
e. Wait until the river dries up



Analysis

1. What kind of chair do you prefer?
Hidden meaning : You want your partner (girlfriend/boyfriend ) to:

a. Be together with you always, no matter when or where
b. Be more open with you about himself/herself
c. Take more care of his/her dress and manner
d. Be a little bit more relaxed, calm and composed
e. Do more for you

The message behind the question:
If you choose to sit on certain chair, you are not suspicious of it or distrust it. This is similar to the psychology present in our relationships with the people we like. In other words, the qualities we look for in a chair are similar to the qualities that we look for in a partner.


2. Tomorrow is Sunday. What are you going to do ?
Hidden meaning: With respect to money:

a. You spend as little as possible.
b. You spend whatever you have.
c. You save for rainy day.
d. You spend carefully. Pennies saved turn into dollars.
e. You are probably a bit stingy.

The message behind the question:
Sunday is a day you are free to use however you want. Having freedom to do whatever you want is like having money to spend however you want. Becoming good at managing your finances is an important step towards independence. What do you think of your money spending habits? A penny for your thoughts...

3. A box lying in the road. What is inside?
Hidden meaning : You think good luck ....

a. Depends on maintaining good relationships with others.
b. Is something you won't attain. You expect only bad luck.
c. Will definitely be yours, someday....
d. Might come your way.
e. Doesn't exist. Reality is built on practicalities.

The message behind the question:
People often attribute unexpected events to good luck or bad luck. When something goes well; it's good luck; when things turn sour, it's bad luck. Your answer reveals what kind of luck (what's inside the box) you think you will have in an unexpected circumstance (the box on the road)


4. What kind of present would you buy for a very closed friend ?

a. You are not able to relate clearly to others. You tend to become lost in clouds of confusion when attempting a task.

b. You are the type of person who assumes that the world revolves around yourself.

c. You tend to think about others' feelings a lot, perhaps because you are so eager to be liked.

d. You care more about world trends and fashions in general than you do about your own, or other people's needs.

e. You have a tendency to overdo things, but basically you value your friendships highly.

The message behind the question:
By stating what kind of gift you would give to a good friend, you are actually revealing how you relate to others. However, it doesn't really matter so much what you give someone - it's the thought the counts. If you care enough to give something, your friend will get the message. The dual acts of giving and receiving are, together, one of the finest pleasures and one of the best forms of communication - that friends share..


5. You want to cross a river, but there is no bridge in sight. What do you do?Hidden meaning : When it comes to finding a romantic partner you:

a. Will search and search until you find your perfect match.

b. Create opportunities to interact with many people through club activities or a hobby, then select someone you like.

c. Don't have any particular type in mind, but are inclined to look for someone who is likely to say 'Yes' if you ask him/her out.

d. Base your search on information from your friends.

e. Are not too worried about finding someone right away.

The message behind the question :
Your answer to this question reveals the way you tend to search for a boyfriend/girlfriend. Crossing a river is a psychological equivalent of getting out and finding that special someone. In any case, if you don't make an effort to meet people, there's no way any relationships is going to start at all. So, get to it!






okay, i got bored.








so emo, but ever so appropriate.













ta-ta.

xoxo.

you're my insomniac sex.

you're my insomniac sex.


i just saw enrique iglesias' rather new music video "do you know? (the ping pong song)" [click for link!] on mtv. i know, what's with the ping pong thingy BUT you'll find, it does contribute to the number's upbeat tempo. and man, i got to say, enrique's THE SEX (now, without the mole.) and i totally bought the whole i-want-to-french-you-but-nah-i'm-just-gonna-brush-my-lips-across-your-face episode he had with the girl in the video (love her hair.). sexual tension was so thick you can cut it with a fork. also, you should really check out his face when there's suggestions of the female lead getting hit by a car or falling off a cliff; it was SO clinically unsound i laughed my head off mentally. told you i am attracted to weird, koo-koo, nonsensical stuff.



what's with sexual videos nowadays anyway? there's kelly clarkson's "never again", and rihana's "umbrella". and i believe much more. or should i say, almost everything is about that forbidden fruit. nevertheless, it's pretty entertainingly panas and in nights like this, when you can abso-not sleep due to constant spasms of tummy aches, mtv serves as an useful source of joy (no pun intended. heh.) since it's almost 24/7, and "scrubs" or "that 70's show" do lose you along the way especially when there are puns to figure out. brain cells are more likely to die faster when the body is under bacteria attack. and habitual abnormal sleeping habits do get to you, eventually. it's the whole karma issue that i am not in the mood to step into.





i noticed lately, my posts are getting from bad to worse, in terms of language standard and also some content here and there. it's like i am crapping my way through in bad bad bad english. this' self-abhorrence for you. take any slight amount of sadistic delight in it to the fullest now, it doesnt happen that often for me. i am usually pretty good at self-acceptance, and thus, i live a pretty contented life. hahahaha. i guess that's why people who arent that close to me do get rather irritated at my, i would say, narcissism. confidence? if you want to be nice. but self-delusion? most definitely. let's just say, malvolio wouldnt be that much of a joke if i had a part in twelfth night. i would be the chambermaid lusting to be orsino's countess. ahh, literature. thou art missed.





i discovered some changed characters here and there. i dont know if it's angelic or demonic, but i guess they think they have morphed for the better, with the opaque kohl and ropy foundation slapped on. originally plain jane faces are all now illusions of that embodiment of beauty people seek. arent we all victims of society's pressure? arent we all slaves of cosmetics; souls traded with the devil? dont we hunger for lusty thoughts and looks to be thrown to us?


i guess we dont know what's right and wrong anymore. things are no longer what they seem to be. but for me, i daresay i worship m.a.c and bobbi brown. sometimes more than whoever's above. but do you, when you're all fauxed up in them too? (or their substitutes if you cant afford similar brands.)



i was talking to an acquittance on msn and she went into religion, christianity to be exact.

(perhaps i might sound like a bitch here, but i think i should just be myself and do what i do best: spill my guts.)

she was kind of questioning me why i havent been to church for quite a long while, and she was being rather a bitch saying some over-dramatic issues of me "losing my centre", "drifting from God and growing closer to the devil" etc.

i looked up at her dp; she was donned in thick black eyeliner, shiny lip glaze, a tube which barely contain her (nevertheless) epsilon boobies. and from what my ultra-vivid mind remembers, she was the one flinging her rebonded-straight hair, laughing at invaluable jokes from any guy who told her any (measly few.) while we had breaks during mass prayer, checking out the new hot boy in our bible study group etc (list goes on.). she thought she was ALL THAT; but reality check please.

i didnt know how to react when she used "inappropriate" on my 'sins' and thinking of it now, all i can manage from my flabbergasted, drug-induced, sleep-deprived, shock-inculled state-of -mind was a big, fat pftt. i was too kind to keep the facts about her to myself, and stopped my slender fingers from typing the F to the U to the C, K, Y, O, U. however way you sing it.



maybe, i aint "gonna make it to heaven".


but then again, are YOU?



[words in both bold and " " are directly quoted]




even fairies cover up in the midst of nudity.










ta-ta.

xoxo.

"i know i am not good enough for you,
but please pretend that i am,
and i will not utter a single word of complain for the rest of our lives together."

uh, you're prolly gonna laugh at this.

uh, you're prolly gonna laugh at this.


at 6 in the morning, i felt an immense cold and the most agonising pain in my guts. oh, i know what it was, after the memorable experience like ten years ago. rushed to the toilet and barfed nothing out, but my body was gagging like it wanted to get the contents of my stomach out, right to its pits.

i waited for like an hour, doing the same fuck. until i couldnt take it anymore, knocked on mummy's door and told her my very own diagnosis.

by 7, i was dressed and all curled up in the couch, waiting for miss i-have-to-look-my-best-all-the-time. she laughed her head off in the car all the way to the clinic, with regards to the irony of the situation. (it's pretty hilarious, to think of it. but sadistic nevertheless.)

suddenly everybody is sick and have to see the same doctor as i am. waited, curled up in the chair, barfed, waited, curled up, barfed, curled, waited, finally.

next time, please dont digress. i was in so much pain and dying to rush back, curl up and take my med. but no, he had to talk about his son, who's in london doing med too, yadah-yadah. a dose of complimentary views of photographs didnt exactly lessen my frustration (son wasnt THAT hot.). that's the con of visiting a doctor, who you havent been for a long while, once again.


i am a pill junkie. hahaha.




i cant eat anything dairy. it's horrible since i love love love milk and cheese and yogurt. but the thought of barfing my guts out is enough to keep me off anything close to containing traces of anything close.




guess my lunch?

plain porridge. thank god for marmite.







oh, in case you havent guess, i am down with horrendous FOOD POISONING from the wonderful bbq (i think it's the satay that i complained wasnt cooked enough but uncle thom said it was. i refuse to deem that stingrays might be a possible suspect.) i had last night. ironical enough? yah well, i abso-love LIT. and literary devises. here's another for you, aftermath-from-improperly-cooked-food: the centre of attention in a midst of fingers. hahahhaaha. lame.





i wonder how long it will take for me to overcome the fears of bbqs. afterall, it took me TEN fricking years to get over my first f.p from yong tau foo (i missed school and my best friend's birthday. it was a double blow. in my little adorable face.). happened when tyng was 6; overcame only when tyng is 17. go figure.







ta-ta.

xoxo.

your epsilon self-abhorrence.

took a ride to cloud 9 (damn hazy!) with hb/hs 0702!

took a ride to cloud 9 (damn hazy!) with hb/hs 0702!


ignore the lame title. haha.


it was awesome (i can just start doing the awesome cheer in bring it on.)! that's all i can manage after being too hyped up. it was damn worth the while to risk having my contacts melt in my eyes. hahahha. but they didnt, so i am happier than any person on earth.


i am so in love with you guys, it's amazing! LOVE LOVE!

"you guys" meaning georgina, garene, thomas, eliza, peirong, huiying, natalie, renee, sean, jo, shereen and ben!




picture post! with alittle captions.

met most of the clique at fairprice amk, at 1 pm, to purchase the stuff needed. (oh, i love love love grocery shopping!) look at these flashy cups and forks i chose! hahhaa! you guys are too kind to let me booboo around for 5 minutes just to decide whether to pick yellow or orange or any of the many colors they have there. :)



went over to renee's condo after the whole shopping trip! we didnt start straightaway, went about baking ourselves, play tennis, goof around. at about 4 plus, then we started on the god-damn fire.

while the serious experts do charcoal and fire starters, the rest of us contributed!


by..

poking the food onto satay sticks,

putting chicken wings onto skewers/ making a mess,

taking pictures,

goofing some more and take pictures,



testing the fire (rocky mountain!!),

taking more pictures!

it took quite awhile to get the fire roaring, but we were happy and lovely! see! in the midst of serious work, huiying was still able to pose for a picture!

finally, the fire was damn hot and our food started to get cooked! it was awesome to taste the first honeyed wing! we reaped what we sowed!

well, well. what better way to celebrate than..

taking pictures! again! and again!

we're cam-whores. cant blame us!






HB/HS 0702! WE'RE THE BOMB!

georgina-na! best laughing partner. watch that G-spot!

shereen! my first friend from poly!

i cant believe she bought me earrings for no apparent reason. i am touched, girl! thanks again! mwahh!

CHILI STINGRAY!

ohmy. i never tasted any better!

night falls and damn,

it's so nice here in renee's condo. i wanna move right in!



i guess i was just so mesmerizingly in love with the lighting.

SEAN!



has a REAL REAL REAL lovely and sexy voice. (these are all possible album covers, mind you.) (: he's THAT good. i have a crush on him now, the i admire-your-voice-so-bad kind of crush. his voice! ahh!









well, well. this is one hell of a lame post. i guess i need more practise when it comes to picture post! hahaha. i'll be going now. have dental tomorrow, i think i am getting the braces already. shit. i am not happy at all.




before i leave, remember.

never stand too near the fire with contacts on.

HAHAHAHA!











ta-ta.

xoxo.


will you all still love me when i get braces?

hate hate hate.

hate hate hate.


i hate hate hate how everytime the hols come, i am like pretty much un-contactable. especially now that my msia number's fucked up, and replying on roaming starhub costs one buck, i cant reply texts. it just irritates the hell out of me cause suddenly i am reminded that i am different from my lovelies, and i love to be special and all, but for this, i just want to keep it blended-into-the-crowd.

pfft my mummy for not letting me get a place in spore.

so, all of the sudden, the net is like jesus christ, saviour to mankind. but still, nothing beats a face-to-face air kiss and cheek peck.




I LOVE NURUL. look what she left me on her blog:


"p/s Tan Woan Tyng you gorgeous fuck, get your ass to Singapore like ASAP cos i miss you & the rest like there's no tomorrow. :( "


she's so sweet i want to eat her all up! gobble gobble! hahha. and she spelt my name right!
(+ 5 million donut points!)


GENTING TOGETHER PLEASE!






ta-ta.

xoxo.

weird smoking bisexual slasherflicks are so connected, aight?
a suicidal emo pocketsized bunch.
identical content in not-so-different packaging.
i love that i cant work photoshope, dont like frenching girls and never mark myself.

rendezvous with the cookie monster living in my dreams.

rendezvous with the cookie monster living in my

dreams.

i have been dreaming loads lately. and it's all nonsensical weird-ass dreams that leave me feeling nostalgic and laughing to myself, both at the same time are A FULL-ON NOSTALGIC BLAST. i wouldnt go into the vivid details, but the main idea of these dreams are just a medley of the past and the present. one crazy example would be last night's where all schoolmates which i have in my whole life (primary to poly) are dancing in some sort of a major party i threw. where i got the moolah to organise such an extravagant event, i got abso-no clue. get the craziness? good.


i think i am going insane. must be all these wishes that i have been suppressing. like how i really want to own those tees with the big ACJC printed across the chest and also, those with SAINTS across the back. but dont you think it'll be uber poser-ish to be downed in them when you dont belong at all? it's like i REALLY REALLY want them, for no apparent reason at all. then again, it's JUST ANOTHER SECRET WISH. it's not like i will ask my friends to get them for me or something. but, if somebody gives it to me for my birthday which falls on the 31st of january, i might just keep them in my wardrobe as my dirty little secrets. oh well.




class clique bbq tomorrow! i cant wait to get out of the house and have some wholesome fun! hahaha.


i never knew i had it in me, but i think i am getting bored of hols now, even though it has only been two days into it. i am super envious of miss jodi tan who went to genting and kl! i want to go! who wants to go with me?

SHALL WE ALL GO, FRESHIES?

let me know!







for all who miss and havent seen me,

this is how i look like now!

err. after a shower but still feeling sleepy that it. haha.




(fine. it's just an excuse to upload my face. heehee.)







(ps. nur! i got the song you want! meet me online whenever! i havent been talking to you and i miss you like anything. and i want to watch priceless! lets set a date sooon!)








ta-ta.

xoxo.

i may have my vices and quirks and fuck ups but i am a good person.