i will never be an accountant.

i will NEVER be an accountant.


i had only one pathetic tutorial today. so i came to school at 4, just for the attendance, and i think know all that i'll do is fiddle with my lappie and do ANY OTHER STUFF THAT HAS ABSO-NO RELEVANCE TO ACCOUNTINGS (like now.) for 2 hours and i can leave.. and well, go back home. no big deal to you, but it's a great one for me. and this totally reminds me of how i suck at accountings and how i am not trying to be better at it, and how some other psycho bimbo and her clones who share the same IQ weightage "want to be the hottest accountant(s)" and go "shopping in bangkok". oh yes, i am in a cranky mood. and i am spouting nonsense that might land me into trouble, which i dont think is all that bad of a thing, considering all i do nowadays is stone in poly and at home. so i guess you guys are prolly sick of me complaining about my screwed up boring and dull life, like i am some poor little rich girl but i am not cause i dont see greens anywhere in my purse, and besides, my life is indeed and definitely rated a "F" if life's a huge, fat bitch of an exam and everybody's assessed based on the fun/talent/accomplishments they have.


i know, i sound totally sore and sour. but what i complain is as true as the fact that the earth is round. i have trouble finding a talent, this one good thing that i am good at. it's like i am NOT pretty, sexy, intelligent, intellectual, smart, a good dancer, a good singer, a good student, a popular, fun, special, fashionable, thin, etc. i am not anything at all. and all i see when i look into the mirror, is boring ol' tyng who doesnt have fun stuff to do or a tight schedule cause everybody's her friend and they all want to spend time with her, and always bothered and haunted by the demons of her imagination/expectations/wants/needs/mind/heart. yes, i told you and i will tell you again, i am an insecure attention-seeker/lover. so that's the way i am and i dont want to be left alone in a corner of my msian home when my friends have fun while i am not with them; and i think that makes me absolutely friendless cause i dont see myself going/asked out with people often, not at all even. and i think i should shut up now, cause i am too demented and broken for anybody's sake. and i might get beaten up for being such an emo freak and i should prolly write a book that's only readable for emo comrades alike, or maybe it'll end up making them decide to be normal again since i am too emo-disgusting for them even.



am i pissing you off now?



i want to quit poly and move to aussie/anywhere overseas that has no yellow-skins to study drama or journalism or literature and cook my own meals and freeze my ass off and drool over other rich kids' burberry/prada/dior etc and exercise till i dehydrate to get the blubber off my waist and tighs and then sashay on the streets in victoria secret and date hot rich guys who pay for my everything and then let other people turn green for my tiffany's/ferragamo/versace/diane von furstenberg/chanel/mercs and attend all the parties.


sometimes, i think i get bored of things too fast, and that makes me such an emo-ass that eventually, i piss everybody off and away. i guess i'll never learn to cherish the things i have. i am grounchy and grumpy and never contented when my better mood swings away. i am too random i hate myself. i guess i HAVE changed, to be more UN-bubbly and matured and pensive.




anyways, anyone interested: deafcon, 3pm,

next saturday the 7th. ten bucks at dxo

esplanade. i am seeking for company.

ting? jas?




ta-ta.

xoxo.