well, i havent actually got round to doing self-reflections ever since.. never. hahha. remember those days in secondary school when we go on an excursion or study trip or whatever, and we get back all excited and ready to go out with our besties since it's still early and we're not in stiff shirts but comfy tees with folded sleeves. but the teachers have to make us fill in some reflection forms before letting us off. at that time, i rarely spill my sincere guts like how i would like to do for the excitement and all just pushes me to scribble and tick like i've never done it before. ahh, so nostalgic. anyways, memories aside, i got to say, recently, many things got me thinking and of course, reflecting.
reflection one: strangely, i dont think i am that much older or superior than the sec school students are. bluntly speaking, i actually was feasting on the (oddly influx of) array of eye candies in their differently colored uniforms. when i was in bp, it was only natural for me to 'check out' any hottie in uniforms like i am. (i was never excited about the older guys already in jcs or polys.) but now, when i look at hot/cute guys in uniforms, i feel awfully guilty, for being kind of a paedophile. after the reality of being a POLY STUDENT suddenly struck me in the head hard, that is. i remember this hottie from this secondary school who i usually see in the checkpoints when i was in bp. so naturally, i looked (apply tyng's similarly-in-uniform-so-go-for-it theory.). then yesterday when i saw him again, he was STILL in sec school uniform. that totally plunged me. am i really a paedophile?! i am suppose to like older guys, and i usually date older guys anyways.
tsk. deem me the victim of the times. but tradition roots and i have every persuasive reason to support the fact that women should choose older men. one for instance, women - no matter how much we deny and counterfight - ages faster than men. that is why by the times we're forty, the men we show off in parties like the perfect accessories that they are, have to accentuate our youth and beauty. or at least DOESNT highlight our deepening wrinkles and fading hotness. just in comparison, we still look young and fresh. no one really cares about the facts.
just as i am typing, a guy in smart wear walked into the room. and for a moment, i am weirded out by the fact that i am studying in a school that comprises of being donned in formal office wear. and you know what? i also havent gotten to the fact that now, i am suppose to toss that tyng's similarly-in-uniform-so-go-for-it theory and start looking at these men. ugh. men! how can i like men, so responsible and matured and.. old. (maybe this is why i havent agreed to any dates. hmm. like a phobia of older people/poly guys.)
you know what? just totally ignore all that i have posted above. i am bored and absent from blogging, so i thought i should compensate with a long post. until it turned out to be abso-crap. so scratch all that (i dont mind if you wanna read it though. hahhaa.) and hear my main point:
i am having it bad with the transition from
sec school to poly. in all departments.
i went to school without a head scarf to hide my ugly fringe unlike yesterday. i guess it was ok, but i feel uncomfy nevertheless (mental scream: i want my traditional hair backkkk!). i have been reflecting (hahaha.) on my clothing nowadays. and guess what? i am a slob. totally. it's like i rarely plan a cute outfit so i only end up looking good depending on every other factors but my contribution. which totally maximises the probability of ending up mediocre and i dont like that. also, i carry a converse backpack almost every day due to the lack of discipline to find a durable and hot duffel which is able to bag my lappie and barang-barang. and THAT, again, totallly maximises the probability of looking mediocre and i repeat, i dont like that at all. thus, i promise myself i will change. soon. when? i aint got any idea too. icas and major tests are coming up up up, so i have to mug - for real. i still remember my dream/goal of getting that internship in orlando's disneyworld for 6 whole freaking months (i even made a who-i-wish-to-live-with-for-6-months-in-florida list. hahahhaha!). which reminds me, i have to tone my bod for that too.
ahhh. so many things to do, so little
special:
introducing my best guy friend, YIYAO!
i abso-LOVE your profound english and of course,
your mutual love for me. hahaha. i look up to you as
my idol always, honey!
egs.
yiyao: i proposed an answer key to the HOD of GP today when I did my midyear compre. lol i miss you guy shtloads! lol
yiyao: and euginn's KNOWN you for 12 years right!! that's longer that the no. of years I've known myself!! :O
yiyao: tyng, appreciate the minors who try to bring up atavistic art forms that absolutely reek of cliche twit language.
yiyao: OHOHOH flamer. I LURVE. hah. i won't deny fat girl the veracity she's been waiting for ever since she'd first laid blubber with her blabber here : welovetyng, wehaterotundity.
yiyao: and tyng is the antonym of rotundity asforementioned. But u. please. do not redefine "fat" for us. our definition is currently, YOU.
(kneel and bow repeatedly, chanting "i am inferior".) i think i am off to read my oxford and cambridge, BOTH, now.
ta-ta.
xoxo.
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