just so subtle.

just so subtle.



subtle - difficult to detect or grasp by the mind or analyze.


i dont think i like changes very much. judging from how i whine and complain and be emo after minor things such as a haircut or how the drink i like has a new packaging, i think it is true i am rather a block of wood, who wishes for things to remain their status quo.


my guy friend recently got himself a girlfriend (never mind they broke off and patched many times before.), and you can like damn well spot the bloody fuck drastic. texts stopped coming, no more random ims, hugs quality were like blah and eventually reduced to zilch, he is a goner 24/7, always with her and no one else (she so happens to be in the same poly. didnt i hear nyp is the last of all last choices?). i dont know about them, but i dont think you have to be SO IN LOVE just because you're in just another relationship.

okay, so i am alittle bummed that my friend is being entirely occupied by some boho bimbo who gives no fuck about how he felt previously and tries (sadly, succeeding.) to send him to social suicide. please, she glares at any female who tries to walk past him, not to say exchange greetings. plus, she came around, and he starts having no life.

i dont know details, as i totally bailed and didnt want to acknowledge him cause he is always with her (and the very sight sends me retching) and he was a bitch to get a gf and dump his friends. point is i never say hi to him after it all, but my other loves still do, and seriously, they got freaked out by domineering dumbo dimbo, who stares at anybody my friend smiles to in the who-the-fuck-are-you way.



okay, stop the gossip about her. she isnt anything i want to care about.



anyways, thanks to niss who is desperate for talents for her filming assignment, i im-ed him for the first time in like, ever. though i was just going on and on about how desperate niss is and how i hope he will help ask around, and though he replied a line to my every five, and though the convo lasted like only less than 60 lines, and we didnt talk about anything other than the filming, and he had to go; there was this subtleness settling in when i read the window. and when he said "bye, tyngtyng", the nostalgia (okay, not that long since we've been friends. but just because.) soured my nose and i thought i might start tearing. just because.


i think i miss him. talking to him, slacking with him, mrt rides with him, icecream with him, hugs. i havent fallen in love or anything. there's something about him that makes me feel at ease and want to talk, and cry and laugh (vodka with red bull time, he was the one listening, laughing and consoling on the blue swing.).


i highly doubt he will and hope he wont read this, but just so, i will want to be there for you. sexy. lovelovelove.


fuck, so i spill what was suppose to be generally secretive. dont go telling now.





ta-ta.

xoxo.


today was very bad. i mis-stepped and tripped TWICE (skinned my jeans and knee and red pumps) and also, spilled chili on myself. acci-prone is the understatement of the century.