and then, everything is back to the normal top-notch.

and then, everything is back to the normal top-notch.

well, i shant complain how life is a bitch and i am so sick of its ups and downs and whatever pranks it wants to play on poor me. yes, i shant. i am pretty sure, everybody know very clearly what kind of fuckingasshole life is. uh huh. (nod furiously.) well, i guess a hug was all that was needed to make my day. :) then again, it was already super-duper last night. you shant know.

some of us from my class went pooling today. well, it was like less than ten of us. but i guess we had fun? uh. well, i had fun taking pictures. and i didnt meet any orgasmic ghost; though i did met kessler. haha. i am not relating anybody to anything here.

PICTURES!

peirong was super excited. haha.



shereen, peirong, jo.



benjamin, weilun behind.



shereen, peirong, freaky thomas.


there's creepy old uncle thom again. haha. (told you the "v" fingers pose was popular.)


i would say, sean was pretty good at pooling too. but then, to me everybod's good at it. then again, he works in a pub. food for thought.



super cam shy. one fine day, i will make sean pose for me with the "v" fingers pose. haha. maybe i shall feed him liquor first. what say you, ass?



there's this ah beng who was SO good at pool that he almost never misses a shot. if he was hotter and NOT an ah beng, i would have gone on to flirt with him or something. but then, it's not my style. then again, there's always a first for everything. haha. too bad too bad. eye candies are all MIA. SHIT in caps.

that's all today. i want to go get stuff tomorrow! man, i need SO many stuff. and i want a visit to the saloon, the mani-pedi, the mall, the mall, the mall...

it just goes on.. dont you just love acting like a dumb blondo bimbo? woots.

oh!

NUR! YOU BETTER STOP

CREATING SUSPENSE

AND

TELL ME!

and dont keep saying i punched your arm!

dont believe her, people!

ta-ta.

xoxo.

A la nanita nana.

A la nanita nana.

A la nanita nana nanita ella nanita ella.
Mi Nina tiene sueno bendito sea, bendito sea.

A la nanita nana nanita ella nanita ella.
Mi Nina tiene sueno bendito sea, bendito sea.

Fuentecita que corre clara y sonora.
Ruisenor que en la selva cantando llora.
Calla mientras la cuna se balansea.
A la nanita nana, nanita ella.

A la nanita nana nanita ella nanita ella.
Mi Nina tiene sueno bendito sea, bendito sea.

Fuentecita que corre clara y sonora,
Ruisenor que en la selva cantando llora.
Calla mientras la cuna se balansea.
A la nanita nana, nanita ella.



i am in absolute love with this spanish lullaby. though i dont really know its meaning. but i can sing it now, after hearing it over and over again for the past 45 minutes.

man, i want to learn spanish. and dance.

all the more to occupy my mind.

ta-ta.

xoxo.

shit happens. especially to me.

shit happens. especially to me.

it just plain sucks that suddenly everything becomes so awkward between two people that when you talk on msn, you cant put the haha's you used to load the window with; when you are together in a room, he acknowledges every other person except for you (that means not looking you in the eyes too.); when it seems as though it's the end of the comfy friendship that you two share, and you appreciate it even though it only started a few weeks ago.

then again, maybe it's my own problem. i hate it how i can pick up mind information (psychological noise) that i dont think i am suppose to be picking up. it's not necessary for me to know these signs and i should probably ignore it and then behave normal like others, since they dont know it. but i cant. i just like to bolt when i feel that somethings have changed.

feelings ini memang tak bagus ah, nur dan zack. aku tak mahu kasil baju dia balik. (i have a feeling this whole chunk is bullshit.)

i should shut up now. how i wish people can just open up and admit stuff, facing things like i want them to. but they dont. they just let it run in their minds, hide in their hearts, brood and haunt them like ghosts.

i find it harder and harder to communicate.
and it's not something eff comm lessons can help.


i guess today is just one of those days i lament over stuff. i dont regret them, but i feel bad that there are particular aftermaths of them.


you know i know, nur. i love that nur and i are closer. it feels great to find a true friend in a new place so soon. of course you too, zack.



ta-ta.

xoxo.

i guess some people do get freaked out with my

outrageous display of emotions.

WORD VOMIT.

WORD VOMIT.

thanks to zack, the "v" fingers pose is now super addictive among all freshies finalists. yes, say whatever you want. we're still owning it.

poly has been great i tell you. i've never enjoyed school so much before. i cant sit still when i am on mr. t (quote from zailani aka zack) on my way there. every cell in my body vibrates at 800mph when old mr.t slowly proceeds stop by stop by stop to yio chu kang. and my steps are always quickened when i prance down the covered walkway to nyp campus, swearing obscenities in my head and silently envisioning stabbing those asses who walk ever-so-tortoise-like and thus blocking me from dashing into the gates of paradise.

well, quite close to that at least.

nah, i shant rub it into faces. of course, there is pressure still. especially when you know what you're learning is fundamental for life and work. no longer the academic crap we swallow and regurgitate! this is suppose to be useful. YAH.

over the few days from where i left you guys, i had more outings and fun with the freshies and my classmates. i cant remember exact dates, but we went to grassroot for pool again. but no table, so we end up watching movies on bin's lappie. and i think i met a ghost in the toilet. creepy. i went into the empty toilet cubicle and heard heavy orgasmic sighing; sat down to pee and hear it again; stand up to wear pants and hear it again. of course, i dash out before i could see anything. ugh.

see the number one tag? it's regan's from the pageant. we exchanged each other's for keepsake. haha. oh, i was lady-in-black; wore black everything from earrings to my bags. i love love love dressing up for school.

that's bin. liz did this to him when we were at grassroots and bored to shit. haha. sometimes i pity him. the word is SOMETIMES.

friday.

nurul spilled the entire bottle of perfume on my foot. it ends up, you smell my foot, you think of nur.

party time! well, not really. regan, nurul, zack, darren k, darren t, joel boobies, bin, irwin (bin's junior) and i went to joel ho's place to thon for the night. i guess i had fun. but i was seriously wiped out after downing like 8 shots of pure vodka, 1 to 2 cans of beer and a couple of boobies' weird concoction of godknowswhat mixed with vodka. zack, nurul and i were the only ones who were seriously fucked up i think.

there is too much hilarious details to share. but do picture me getting real high, imagining to fly, laughing loudly at zack; zack laughing loudly at me, falling off chairs and sofas, needing support from the guys whenever he wants to walk about; nurul lying about on the floor, barfed in the toilet. nurul was pretty glam despite drunkenness, but zack and i racked up a din. i even cried three times for all the screwed up parts of my life recently.

strangely, i can remember everything and i know what i was doing, but i just had to do it. it's like a little voice in my head telling me to spread my arms and i get so fed up, so i obeyed. and i realise, i get the word vomit syndrome when i am drunk. it's like i just blabbed my thought out.

and also strangely, i dont let secrets out. so please still trust me with yours yah? haha. THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I GET SO DRUNK. i didnt puke, but i was definitely an oddball. sorry if i caused troubles, you guys. i dont think i did though.

pictures!

bin was sick even before we went to joel's place. poor guy.

darren k and regan. haha.

joel boobies. like modelling for handphone. sheesh.

he's suppose to be shocked whilst looking up the skirt. hahaha.

zack is a cam whore! big time!

zack can see ghosts. that's why he covers his face with his hair. so he wont see them face to face. it's bad luck to apparently. so stop picking on him. he is an abso-fab person. while you guys, are jealous fucked up assholes.

prom faggots yourself! we werent even in prom.

joel boobies was so kind to help me lug my lappie around. he says he's wearing suspenders. another one who was drunk even without the consumption of liquor. haa.

joel ho's place is a fish farm okay! his house is a nice cottage-like place. i love the scenery there. (psst. his dad owns rainbow fish farm.)

HAHAHA! LAWA right?


after fooling around and refusing to sleep for super long (they put him into the room, he come out again. repeats routine.), zack finally fall asleep. i think everybody was relieved despite the fact he was the butt of most jokes.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i met jas at cck platform when we were going home! as usual, we hug and hug. haha. man, i miss you jas babe! you look hot as ever!

ps: can you guys dont say "you look different" when you see me? i want to know what's different! even if it means i am butt-ugly. ugh. define please!


speaking of which, TING! dare done!

i want my reward now, please. hahaha. mwahh!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i truly heart NUR and ZACK! thanks for hearing me out when i needed to spout. thanks for sharing your heart. thanks for the xoxos. thanks for giving me confidence to love myself for me. thanks for saying i am panas and lawa. thanks for our malay secret-telling sessions, though i had to concentrate hard to faham. haha. mwahh! thanks for everything.

i truly heart REGAN too. thanks for wiping my tears. thanks for talking (more like listening haha.) to me. thanks for the hugs. thanks for being there. thanks for chaperoning. thanks for everything. :)

i think (i am sensing some negative opposing energy here..) we should totally do this again. but next time, without the strangers, minus the mj, ditch the self-consciousness, lose all soberness. everybody should get high and tipsy, and we'll play "truth and truth". haha! let's rent those apartments nur said! please dont be disgusted and pissed off with the effects of liquor (with red bull that enhances and maximises the effects of it.)-to-the-brain. everybody needs to lose it once in a while. you know who you are.

ta-ta.

xoxo.

red bull gives tyng wings.

- nur.

you shant know if i've regretted. check out my outrageous display of amusement.

you shant know if i've regretted.

check out my outrageous display of amusement.

today was mellow. i am SOOOO happy i didnt bring my lappie. man, heavy ass of a bag. i need to get a new lappie case and thumb drive! go with me okay, ppl? i got nothing to blog. just wanted to post some pics. so here goes:

some of my classmates before lecture! renee in white, huiying and shereen who's my first friend! haha.

then,

after lunch, nurul, darren k, regan and i went pooling at grassroot which's just beside our campus. damn cheap man, only 4 plus bucks per hour.

regan is REAL good at this. i cant say the same about me. haha. ugh.

darren is also a pro. again, i cant say the same about me.

there goes his proud face. grr.


nurul plays better than me. and she's uber hot too. again, i cant say the same about me.

i laughed alittle too loud while playing. i think. someone shushed me. cheh.

they didnt let me order the mermaid fish and chip which was the kid's meal. boo!

i cant wait for friday! shant tell you why. blah.

i love my classmates,

i love the freshies,

i love school!

i guess you guys've heard this the umpteenth time. oh well.

ta-ta.

xoxo.

when that wonderful thing reveals its drawbacks.

when that wonderful thing reveals its drawbacks.

me:
"are you feeling better?"

him:
"still okay.."

me:
"you're still at home? not going back to spore?"

him:
"sorry.."

me:
"huh? what?"

him:
"nothing.. leaving soon.."

me:
"oh. okay. take care."

him:
"i will.. you too.. next week, i'll go visit you."

me:
"we'll see."

him:
"okay.."


chemistry. i loathed it as an o's subject, and now, i hate it as that mysterious frisson which enables me to understand you. that exchange of ten short texts might seem insignificant to others, but when you gave that first reply, i finally forced myself to admit that that distance between us was a greater barrier than we could ever imagine. is there really no point of return from where we are? no more hopes of the perfect love before? why things became what they are? i have no fucking idea. i hate to think of it as our fault; maybe it wasnt meant to be at all.


lost. remember i told you that i know things will be alot harder especially for me if ever we have problems arising because you were the one there for me always, and there wouldnt be anybody there for me like you? i guess i have to be emotional independent now. i just need to get everything out of my system. blogging is like talking to me. tell and subconscious tyng will know what conscious tyng wants to achieve. hypnosis it may be. so, bite me.


i once heard over the radio that one of the most agonizing and puzzling thing that can happen to someone is when the person closest to his or her heart "becomes a stranger all of a sudden". i didnt get the meaning of "all of a sudden" at that time. but now i know that it doesnt give a hint; you just float away. it's like sleeping in an unanchored boat, the waves and current will gently rock you out to the horizon unknowingly. this meaning is ringing in my mind now, going thud thud thud. etched like a barcode on the milk carton.


right. enough of emo-ing now. life still goes on. give myself some time, dont force that smile. everybody is entitled to a moody day. i guess this week's mine.


this is what God taught me today. every wonderful thing has its own drawbacks. every rich man is empty in the soul. every gorgeous has her flaws. every crimson apple is poisoned. every dusk has its dawn. every relationship is a hassle. for every angel, there is a devil.

nothing is perfect, so why do you bother?


ta-ta.

xoxo

you love me, but you're not in love with me.
and i would love you more if you were a better person.


it's so random cause you messed up my system.

what?! the fun has just began??

what?! the fun has just began??

man, this two days have been THE BOMB! i stayed out late, and just manage to catch the last bus back to msia from spore! but i am loving it all! even the carrying of my heavy bag and lappie around. of course, mummy got a little naggy and pissed, saying that i disturbed her beauty sleep, me being in danger etc. she even made me gave her a copy of my timetable.ugh. well, 'lies are meant to be told and promises are meant to be broken'. i am not indicating anything here, of course. if you know what i mean. hahha.

THURSDAY night was the JAM AND HOP! it started off really lousy with the people being shy and thus sitting around the ever-so-huge sports hall. then, we decided "what the hell" and nurul, liz, niss, ching, a couple of our respective classmates and i went to the "dancefloor" and just had fun fun fun! haha. the guys? well, I AM KILLING REGAN EVERYDAY FOR HIS SUPER LACK OF PARTICIPATION. YOU BETTER DANCE WHEN WE VISIT SOME CLUBS NEXT TIME, YOU! dance = sexy! hahaha. wanna keep your reputation? haha. darren k and his friend, aaron joined us. surprise of the night: my classmate sean, actually can dirty dance. haha. go on, sean! we all collected a bunch of the light sticks. haha. nice yah? who cares i came home with a sore body from all the boggying.

that's us looking squashed! everybod's so packed in the end!
(aaron, darren k, me, liz) and (me, liz, zack)

camwhore zack nasi ayam on action! alamak lah!

we're all blackmailing him with this one. imagine ns! hahaha! poor robocop.








FRIDAY night, we (darren tan; alextine; nurul; joel ho; lebin; regan; joel lim on the later part) all went for dinner and then, indochine. we pulled the whole pretend-didnt-bring-ic stunt cause only darren and alextine was legal. but we got our drinks and i loved my appletini!


nurul and i. mummy came to school earlier to pay for my lappie, and she said nrl looks prettier in person. but she already said that nrl was pretty that time when she saw the photos of the pageant. huh. what mother. say her own daughter ugly ah!

with regan, who kindly sent me to the customs on cab. i'll pay you soon!

with joel ho! man, this guy has the nicest dimples and the hottest lips and the wow-est bod! he should be a model no? he's super conscious of the cam too! CAM WHORE!

with alextine (year two), who told us the tammy story from the business point of view at the pageant's interview. his dimples are to die for too! ugh. only i dont have.

with darren tan (year two). this guy is rich! earning three thousand bucks a month as a marketing executive!

lebin hates taking photos apparently. hahaha.

rejected photos. all put down by the guys! i didnt even mind when i am the one looking like crap. haha.




and we have, my love - my lappie!! woots woots! i got the 1.8kg fujitsu which i think most people got (for eg, nurul, regan) haha. nevertheless, we are all going to personalize ours, with the help from lebin bin bin! hahaha!

dont you just adore the white and whooshy keys? ahh, i AM in love.

ta-ta.

xoxo.