when that wonderful thing reveals its drawbacks.

when that wonderful thing reveals its drawbacks.

me:
"are you feeling better?"

him:
"still okay.."

me:
"you're still at home? not going back to spore?"

him:
"sorry.."

me:
"huh? what?"

him:
"nothing.. leaving soon.."

me:
"oh. okay. take care."

him:
"i will.. you too.. next week, i'll go visit you."

me:
"we'll see."

him:
"okay.."


chemistry. i loathed it as an o's subject, and now, i hate it as that mysterious frisson which enables me to understand you. that exchange of ten short texts might seem insignificant to others, but when you gave that first reply, i finally forced myself to admit that that distance between us was a greater barrier than we could ever imagine. is there really no point of return from where we are? no more hopes of the perfect love before? why things became what they are? i have no fucking idea. i hate to think of it as our fault; maybe it wasnt meant to be at all.


lost. remember i told you that i know things will be alot harder especially for me if ever we have problems arising because you were the one there for me always, and there wouldnt be anybody there for me like you? i guess i have to be emotional independent now. i just need to get everything out of my system. blogging is like talking to me. tell and subconscious tyng will know what conscious tyng wants to achieve. hypnosis it may be. so, bite me.


i once heard over the radio that one of the most agonizing and puzzling thing that can happen to someone is when the person closest to his or her heart "becomes a stranger all of a sudden". i didnt get the meaning of "all of a sudden" at that time. but now i know that it doesnt give a hint; you just float away. it's like sleeping in an unanchored boat, the waves and current will gently rock you out to the horizon unknowingly. this meaning is ringing in my mind now, going thud thud thud. etched like a barcode on the milk carton.


right. enough of emo-ing now. life still goes on. give myself some time, dont force that smile. everybody is entitled to a moody day. i guess this week's mine.


this is what God taught me today. every wonderful thing has its own drawbacks. every rich man is empty in the soul. every gorgeous has her flaws. every crimson apple is poisoned. every dusk has its dawn. every relationship is a hassle. for every angel, there is a devil.

nothing is perfect, so why do you bother?


ta-ta.

xoxo

you love me, but you're not in love with me.
and i would love you more if you were a better person.


it's so random cause you messed up my system.