SO..

i have been thinking, (oh-o? maybe.) maybe it is because i am not special enough that it seems as though my life is just well, too average.


there's this departure between my expected life and my actual life, thus there's no satisfaction achieved.

formula: actual life - expected life = negative = NO satisfaction.

something like that.

it's not that i am ungrateful or anything. but it's really really the fact. i have been thinking, i guess it's that i havent got this one thing i am so hung on to. like for some, there's their drawings, sketching whatever. and some, there's gaming although i have to admit that's one hell of a bad example alternative. and some there's clubbing. some, there's baking, cooking, sports, intellectual things such as chess, work..

the list goes super on, but none's my thang. like i am bad at drawing. gaming - yah sure. no way my mum will let me enter the clubbing scene. okay, i have to say baking and cooking's what i do sometimes, but i dont get all into it. i am not a sporty girl, nor am i really intellectual though i love reading. and nah, i am not such a competitive and driven woman who aims to be frantically ahead in my career.


okay, the above is somewhat of an illustration. i just like to blab when i am here. so ignore and whatnots. i am going to find My Thing. oh, i am so envious of this one person who i guess you can say i kind of stalk online. i truely believe He is an Awesome person. oh, it's not like that you dirty people. he isnt even straight. oh, all the more reason why he's Awesome and i am not.

they say homosexuals tend to be more inclined in other areas. and i believe that i know wayy to many boring heterosexuals. one living example, moi.



neeways,
i think my outfit looked totally cute and innovatively daring on the last-paper-slash-Sakura-buffet day. heeh.


yah, yah. self-praise is no praise.


i am going to be brave and watch some Thai horror! ugh.