raspberry dreams grow on raspberry trees.

raspberry dreams grow on raspberry trees.

i'd notice. if you went missing, i'd notice.

- Grey's Anatomy.

i dont know about you guys, but everytime i watch a movie or just tv show or a commercial even, or read a book or pamphlets, ANYTHING, i never fail to get touched. you know all those romantic things the characters do and say to each other? damn it. if only it happens in real life.


i have always been a dreamer. and it is from the movies and shows that i derive inspiration for my daily dosages of imaginations. if my dreams, both day and night ones, can be filmed into movies, i will prolly clinch more Oscars than Steven Spielberg himself, or any director for that matter. hahahha.


pardon me, i am too bored. it is only the second official day of holidays and i am so stoned i think i need a job real soon. (:


anyways, i am very clear on the known that compulsive obsessive dreaming is real bad cause it instills false hopes and detaches you from reality and eventually, you will find reality to be not as good compared to your idiosyncracies and that will in turn, make you all looney and in angst and you will hate the world, be all depressed and insane and then maybe turn to comfort slashing (so very ironical. how can inflicting pain upon oneself be comforting eh? i.dont.get.) or suicide. and yes, i do admit i sometimes long for things to turn out like my not-so-little-but-more-like-elaborated dreams and can get pretty pissed off when facts are like so fucked up, ESPECIALLY WHEN IT COMES TO RELATIONSHIPS, but nyeh. i am not gonna be a slasherflick or suicidal slut, aint THAT problamatic. i rather inflict harmless pain upon others. hah! okay, i am scaring all the guys away.

ah well. i shall go dream somemore whilst having dinner. i have been watching tv too much and i am happyhappyhappy! i love to be entertained, and you will never know how thrilled i am when i have drama serials or tons of movies and tv programmes to watch.

PLEASE CATCH ME ONLINE AND SEND ME

MOVIES OR SERIALS!

THANKS!

ta-ta.

xoxo.

'adios' stress, and 'hello' holidays!

'adios' stress, and 'hello' holidays!



as you all know, i am done with tests! and well, it doesnt really matter who manhandled whom (erhm), i am just super happyhappyhappy tests are done and i wont have to worry about school (at least till 14th sept when results are out, then we'll know if anybody needs the supp papers. touchwood. bless me.) for SEVEN FREAKING WEEKS!



i know!


semestral breaks are the sex yo!

but, i need to find a job cause i have a whole month of idling and i know my mother wont stand for that. so unless i want to get nagged at till the point of insanity and end up still digging at my ears, still trying to get rid of all the inside voices, all the way to IMH, i better get my lazy ass off the bed and /quote "gain some experience and earn money for driving lessons" /unquote. whoever said i want to drive so badly?


so i figured, since driving lessons take up to about 1000 RM, which will be almost ALL my pay as a part time pathetic server after slogging for a whole month, it will be better for me to get a job at spore instead with the exchange rates and double amount whatever. but you know the mother, she wants me to be safe (pfft. why arent we migrating then? 'msia' aint the slightest synonymous to 'safe'.) and blahblah, so i cant really travel alll the way there to work. which means i might end up slogging at msia and earning just right for driving lessons and end up NOT being able to spend my salary on clothes, books and the things i like. which sucks. and to think i wanted to work in the first place to earn money for the stuff i like.

i officially hate driving.

keeping decision-making in view. dont want to think hard!

i might not be able to work in spore with a student pass anyways.

anybody knows how to find a job online?

help me!

and can i work with student pass?

who.to.ask who.to.ask?

ta-ta.

xoxo.

i hope my blog aint dead. lonely tagboard.

foxy cleopatra screwed up.

foxy cleopatra screwed up.



i cant believe it. everything's gone. songs, screensavers. grr. thank god i have pictures on my thumbdrive or else i would have smashed her.




butbutbut still!




all painstakingly dl-ed 798. argh.




i hate waiting for dls, so please be charitable and pass me songs (eg. deathcab, boys like girls, tyler hilton, teddy geiger, britney spears, anberlin, saving jane, etc etc.)!




thanks in advance!





ta-ta.

xoxo.


p.s. i wont find you weird even if you suddenly

stick a thumbdrive into my face.




(:

it's more like i got manhandled.

it's more like i got manhandled.




microecons went so bad today, i was totally shattered.



i realise i always make the same mistake, the one which i havent learnt even after the many times of living in angst for not completing the paper cause i spent too much time trying to think the first few questions through/out.



i suck at time management.



i just want to pass overalls, and NOT need to take the sup/sub papers or repeat module/s (shudders.).


i am utterly saddened. i shall go sleep somemore and read some novels. then i will mug accounts and stats and pom. i refuse to get to second sem with another module/s attached.






i refuse.










ta-ta.

xoxo.


you can see i am really broken from the length of my post.
short = badness.

your lips beckoned; i lust in tempt.

your lips beckoned; i lust in tempt.

these days have been spent trying to evoking the much-needed inner nerd, and trying to just cramming all information into the little cranial thingy all for later's mass regurgitate. i dont think anymore, i just try to finish my chapters and secure a promotion to second semester with no extra modules attached. plus, i would NOT want to go back to school for any sup (sub?) papers in the midst of class chalet. how unappealing.

monday,

i cant study in libraries. the books strike to me to be much more interesting than econs or whatever.

city hall's branch is so much better than amk's. but i love it nevertheless.


GO WATCH 'SECRETS', people. the music was damn hotness, plot was same old chinese with a twist. no hot actors/actresses though.

tuesday,

coffee bean, changi airport with niss and nur.

love skinnies. hate fat thighs.

wednesday,

changi again. intentions to mug alone, but joined by a new friend. and then, sean. who owes me the ending of 'shakespeare in love'.

came home with surprise of a new scanner/printer/fax/phone/copier. HP yo!

and also, huge fat threadmill who blocks everybody's way to the door and piano. nyeh, it doesnt really; i am a liar. i shant exercise on it.

bored. sleepy. study date unknown tomorrow. loves changi. wanna fly away ("leaving on a jet plane"). bye.

ta-ta.

xoxo.

what's your MAINSTREAM problem?

what's your MAINSTREAM problem?



anyways, mummy dearest is back from bangkok and she has tons of shoes! i tell you, the only way to make this woman buy more than three pairs of shoes at a go is to unleash her in bangkok. i am gladgladglad, cause she will be bringing me there end of year and she says i can go there with my friends when i am 181818.


(/quote "when you're 18, you will have a certain degree of freedom" /unquote.)


okay, she's not that bad afterall. i take back all blames and anger on her. cant wait to be 18 yo!



hotnesshotnesshotness. i HAVE to go there.

despite the "i love bangkok" declarations from the "hottest accountant", nur! DESPITE!

anyways.

i have this utmost anger in me but somehow i cant really find the right words to support my point and/or say what i wanna say. it's so complex and i guess my little brain cant take it. :)

but i am trying, so here goes.

okay, it all started this one day when i was talking to some friend (hah. yah yah.) on msn and we happen to talk about this band which aint that mainstream, as in not many people know them cause they dont appear all over mtv or radio (pfft.) and stuff. so she was listening to them and her pm showed it, so i mentioned that i like them too and stuff. she was all "yah, but you sure you listen to them? i never thought so".

it was a total what-the-fuck moment and the rage in me like rose to the altitude or something. cause she was the type of people who goes "mainstream sucks", "eww mainstream". so apparently i am eww too since she thought i was a mainstream buff or something.

fuck you.



but seriously, i think whether something's mainstream or indie or whatever hell genre, does not matter! music's universal and why should some fucktards have the right to deem one genre of a lower/higher calibre than the other? personally, i dont think 'britney spears' is a total yuck. some of her songs are pretty dance-able; and doesnt mean you like/love/know 'the academy is' and you're suddenly the coolest kid of the block. things arent suppose to be that way, so shut all the anti-mainstream talk around.

i have no idea what the fuck i am saying cause i myself sometimes ostracise the cheenah twits who listen to cheena songs about, and all about, love. butbutbut at least i dont deem manda-pop of a lower calibre, cause i know it's the twits who sang along to them that are yucky. i just dont like manda-pop very much, unless it's like damn nice till i cant resist not listening to it. and there are a few!


so there. i am fair and just, as i treat all music as equal. as long as they are nice songs TO ME, i will love them.

so there! shut up about me listening to 'rihanna' or 'christina aguilera', but also 'jack's mannequin' or 'cute is what we aim for' or 'garbage'. i am oxymoronic and ironical, and i dont need YOU stereotyping ME.

ta-ta.

xoxo.

listening to indie doesnt make you any cool.

if you ask me, i thought it was hot.

if you ask me, i thought it was hot.



to break the myth, after much personal experience, i daresay kissing with braces is just about the same. even the other party said it was normal, though sometimes when his tongue graze pass, it feels rough. but no pain!

there. you have it. go ahead and kiss, people who just got your metals. dont worry. shant elaborate further, i dont kiss and tell. that much. hahhaa.

check this out :

Perfectionism is another major problem related to the achievement need.

The perfectionist and the compulsive striver are alike in that they are more negatively motivated by fear of blame and failure than positively motivated to achieve and accomplish.

Perfectionists differ from compulsive strivers, however, in that they tend to procrastinate and put off work rather than compulsively grind away at it.

Perfectionists fear that they will be blamed for poor quality of work whereas the compulsive striver fears blame for not doing enough work. Since we usually can not do well on our first attempts to accomplish something, perfectionists often put off getting started so they can avoid the problems that go with getting started.
The strategy of successive approximation (gradual improvement through practice) is a good antidote for perfectionist procrastination.Perfectionists often wait until they are forced by an externally imposed deadline before they start to work on a project.

If a perfectionist is capable and intelligent (which they frequently are), their last minute crisis driven efforts sometimes turn out well which, unfortunately, tends to reinforce their procrastinating behavior.

As achievement goals become more demanding and complex, however, the perfectionist's procrastination strategy tends to break down since there is no time allowed for complicated corrections or improvements.

Some procrastinators also hold a belief (usually developed as a result of indulgence as a child) that they will be relieved of responsibility for a task if they wait long enough and that the task will "go away" or be forgotten by others.

THERE.

i conclude I AM A PERFECTIONIST.

no wonder. it explains everything now. i love psychology. (now, why am i in hospitality and resort management instead. but there isnt psychology at tertiary level, no?) i think i'm gonna go take up some extra course on psychology or something. delightdelightdelight.

ah well ah well. i am bored and sleepy and as much as i like holidays, today was so boring i thought my brains rotted alittle more. fine, so my 'plans' didnt exactly do justice to a fruitful day and thus, i brought the decomposing cranial activity upon myself cause i slept alot, read microe but was damn confused and gave up, and got my feelings all jumbled up again. just when i thought it was all over and i have another to delight in (but apparently this one isnt turning out well either, cause it's more of platonic. sighs all round), something like today happen and i left him, as in the mental fancy averted back to the other him. okay, i am a whore, aint i? plus, i have like my friendster inbox (rolls eyes), msn and for some, number, with some guys who, i daresay, are interested to date me. i am not boasting here, but am feeling rather blessed to have a sudden small influx of guys 'seeing' me, albeit the judgement of their erm, calibre. i guess i am no longer invisible? but alas, i dont quite get those i get my eyes set on.

ta-ta.

xoxo.

absence much?

absence much?

i have been gone from blogger for like so long. and these few days have been wonderful with my class. random pictures and captions to tell!



red mango skinnies! lovely. wore it today as the national day thingy. lovelovelove.






soya bean icecream was good the first time on monday. but by the second one today, it sucks. i think i still hate soya beans.

WAFFLE DAY TUES!



celebrations all round after IT project presentation. i think gazillions of my brain cells died for it.






then, silly shopping in the supermarket to plan for chalet! wheee. we came up with many false imaginations, like we want to live together for a month or something.

today.



arm wrestling in class. hahaha. peipei is really funny. huiying and renee are damn strong. benji has muscles. tyng can only do inclines.




thanks weilun for the simpsons movie aka spider pig! hahaha. funnyfunnyfunny.

after that was eating snacks (loads of it.) at amkhub and pool. no pictures cause was busy taking 'pool 101' lessons from sean and uncle thom.

i need to be better at it. girls who pool are HOTNESS, and i want to be THAT.

i am bored and sleepy and tired. bye!

ta-ta.

xoxo.

(from movie, hot chicks.)

BOYS ARE CHEATS AND LIARS, THEY'RE SUCH A BIG DISGRACE, THEY WILL TELL YOU ANYTHING TO GET SECOND BASE-BALL BASE BALL HE THINKS HE'S GONNA SCORE, IF YOU LET HIM GO ALL THE WAY THEN U ARE CALLED A WHORE-TICULTURE STUDIES FLOWERS, GEOLOGIST STUDIES ROCKS, ALL HE REALLY WANTS FROM YOU IS A PLACE TO PUT HIS COCK-ROACHES,BEETLES, BUTTERFLIES, AND BUGS, NOTHING MAKES HIM HAPPIER THAN A GIANT PAIR OF JUG-GLERS AND ACROBATS, A DANCING BEAR NAMED CHUCK, ALL HE REALLY WANTS TO DO IS FORGET IT. NO SUCH LUCK!

courtesy of nissSTAR!

courtesy of nissSTAR!

i am lazy so i just load them all up and you can figure what we were thinking and stuff. or just stare at my beautiful friends, cause i look like a fugly fat fuck. it's in chronological order, like that helps. hahahhaa.

you're prolly sick of this, but i have to say

I LOVE THEM! LOADS!



(it's so unfair they look SO hot always. tsk.)

ta-ta.

xoxo.