马国治安不好

马国治安不好


the above chinese text translates to "security in malaysia is damn bad". it is chinese. it is a language i havent been writing, not to say type, for the longest time ever. i have nearly forgotten to write 郑婉婷 (my chinese name.), but of course, i dont want my daddy to turn in his grave. but he was cremated, so i guess that's pretty impossible.


i am not in a very good mood today. it started off at 00:30: my mummy got all pissed off cause i went out for dinner with the boys and came home late, she grounded me "for the rest of my life" and well, i've got nothing to say to that. no explanation could go in, but it was damn truth the traffic was a bitch fucked twice over. hate much. i think i am getting into this rebel stage of life (i know, damn late. it was suppose to be at age 13+. whatever.). and i start to want my mummy to just leave me alone. so insensible, but it's like natural reflex and it's getting harder and harder to keep it under. i am damnation. i need help.


then, at 05:37: i woke in damn shock with a back and neck ache. but no, i wasnt spared by mummy dearest. she had to nag in that confined compartment of a car, for the whole 15 mins ride to sanctuary, in a form of a littered urban waste intoxicated sidewalk. i swear, i was never happier out of air condition and into the humidity.



nah, god has other sucky plans. foolish immature old uncles and aunties trying to get onto the buses, pushing and shoving like they're all grabbing 10 bucks gucci bags. i think my IQ dropped a 100 just watching them. saw a particular someone who was suppose to be in cambodia studying. so baffled i couldnt regain my composure for the next 45 mins till miracle came in a form of me getting a standing space on a bus.


if i tell you i dont believe in wishes anymore, would you leave me? i guess i was still reasonably acceptable by the world previously cause i was this naive innocent little girl who courageously kept her faith to hopes and dreams. but right now, i think it's me against the world in this constant battle to deem me one of the victims of the time. they believe that dreams never come true. well, my daddy didnt wake like i wanted so much, didnt he?

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running away to the open-air linkway in the middle of oral comm lessons with georgina-na-na was the best. the weather, the talks, the hugs, the peace, the tranquility, the isolation.


i guess i am getting weirder by day. i dont really care.


sometimes i just want to run away from the world, bring only him and his guitar. we'll drink starbucks in the sidewalk; i'll keep mum while he sings. songs that makes me go blank and zoink out, and all i can do was try to capture the sexiness of it. i wish i can make him repeat that particular one again and again. but anything's nice.

i would like to keep his voice in a shell and let it circle like waves.











ta-ta.

xoxo.


dont ask.