let the Persian kitty out of our louis vuittons.

let the Persian kitty out of our louis vuittons.


apparently, my brain cells are dying and my brain is failing me. i am not behind assignments though. but i am definitely emo-ing or whatever you guys call it. i am not in the bubbly mood at all. fuck. and i dont even know why.


speech went well though. was named best speaker or somesort. yah, that's all i am saying. dont want to comment. not in a mood to. i wore that sexy-cling-on-ass-and-accentuate topshop skirt. i cant believe, for once, my ass wasnt flat and appeared perky! woots. was alittle proud of it.

my speech. titled: believe, you paragons of beauty.

now listen to this: "some attain dignity and character as the years pass, while others deteriorate, and the beauty once there peels away, leaving only ruin".

good afternoon mrs medora and everybody, if you havent got or understood what i had said earlier, do not worry as the next 3 minutes or so will revolve loyally around the crux of that phrase. i gave my speech the title: believe, you paragons of beauty. and indeed, i am going to touch on this very idea. yes, on beauty.

though defined as the quality of being pleasant to not only the senses but also to the mind, beauty is often stereotyped as that appearance that appeals to the naked eye. but to me, outer beauty is definitely only skin deep, while the inner beauty, being the core of our personality and character, holds a value that goes deep within our hearts.

let me tell you a story. there was a girl with the lowest self-esteem. she was the average plain jane in terms of looks, but considered horrendous in terms of figure and size. with the absence of a social life, she plunged herself into the realms of books and studies. books became her only friend, and exams, her only stage to shine. people called her fat, ugly, nerdy and many other horrible names that used to scar her little heart. that girl was me. 5 to 6 years ago.

looking back at those somewhat miserable days, i often sneer at my foolish consciousness. it wasnt just my appearance that made me the butt of all jokes, it was the fact that i didnt have the confidence to show people that i am worthy of their recognition.

therefore, i stand before you guys today to say:

i have a dream that everybody will be judged based solely on their personality and character, plans and actions.

i have a dream that outer appearances do not matter.

marianne williamson once said in her book A Return To Love, that "our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure. it is our light, not darkness that frightens us. we ask ourselves, 'who am i to be brilliant, gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous?' actually, who are you not to be?"

playing small does not serve the world. therefore, believe, you paragons of beauty. believe in yourself.

as usual, i didnt follow the speech actually. changes here and there. i think 3 to 4 minutes is actually a REALLY short time. i wished i had more time. i had so much more to say.

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happy 19th alextine!

are people from france or germany really THAT open when it comes to relationships? or did we give them any wrong impressions? i cant believe some foreign chick asked nur, nadia and i if we were "sharing" (direct quote.) alextine as his girlfriends. i didnt get it at first, then nur explained. yah sure. uh huh.

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it was comforting to sit around the library with nur and liz, with alittle of sexy. we exchanged secrets. i never thought i will blurt mine out, girls. i wanted to forget, so i lied at first. then, i decided whatthefuckinghell. attention-seeking? yah, prolly. i never said i wasnt. i do like it, very much in fact. it's one of those used-to-have-low-self-esteem aftermath. have to have attention. have to have people like me. yah yah yah. i am so in madness right now. and i dont give a fuck now. i am listening to 'tears in heaven' for god's sake. like EMO in caps. i prolly wont get to heaven anyways.

well, the ham salad was kick-(perky)ass though. aunty gave nur and i thick ones. it was alittle gross, but still, IT'S HAM! oh well.


if you'll go excuse me, i need to go apply thick kohl on my eyes, dress in black and maroon, play evanescence (or some other real emo band. i am new at this, dont be an ass about it.) real loud on my stereo etc. but please, i am no slasherflick. i'll prolly drink soap though. URGH. yah right.


ta-ta.

xoxo.

you know what i want to do? i want to join the photography club and express my views on the world through the lenses. i want to be emo and quiet and snap shots. i want to show people i am not just a bunch of high-strung and enthu nerves. i want to let you test how deep my waters are.

yes, thats me.