cont. to I MISS YOU GUYS LIKE MADNESS!

cont. to I MISS YOU GUYS LIKE MADNESS!

okay, i am blogging secretly without baby knowing. he told me to stay in bed, and the only place i can go is the toilet. haha. well, have to come down for med ah, cant help it that i am not a princess with slaves that are serving 24/7. but hey, i am a princess regardless. shameless, i know. just took my med, and i know in no time, i'll start getting dizzy and need to sleep again. so before that, let me get this off my mind, so i can sleep in peace and not get weird dreams.

i was texting baby about this prob i recently encountered on my own part. maybe it's just me being paranoid and strangely insecure lately, but as you know from the earlier post, i think i am getting the jitters of this turning point of my life. graduating from sec school, getting my o results and enrolling into jc that is. it's like recently, i get this feeling of being left out from my besties. okay, this may sound stupid but i think i got alittle jealous when i got to know that jas and ting are recently having a whale of a time with jodi and jasmine. it's not that i am sore or i have something against them. please, hell no. we're good. it's just that i am just jealous that it's not us four having fun together instead. i do miss that alot. hm, or i miss that us four havent spent time in a pretty long time. aargh. why does every attempt to explain sounds so silly and pathetic still?! well, forget it. point is I MISS YOU GUYS SO BAD ah! and yes, i am a bestie that get all jealous when i feel that our relationship's changing and we're all getting new besties and one another are no longer regarded as the number one best friends. but i really do care.

okay, i am blabbering. i hear agitation's bad for sicknesses, let me calm it first. phew. done, let's continue.

so there i was texting baby, punching in every letter oh-so-hard due to agitation and just blabbering whatever came to my mind since i just need to get it out to find a solution and cant be bothered to sort it out (something like now actually.). he cant solve it for me too, but he did say stuff that made me think for myself. anyways, what i said was i feel that right now, with all the working, not going to school and stuff, we dont get much time to meet. it's a huge difference from those school days whereby we meet every weekday. so, i think things became this situation whereby we're like hanging in mid-air, our relationship not heading anywhere, and it makes me worry if we're going to be as close as before. things will be different for sure, i know and i accept that. but i'm just not sure if i or us can take and withstand this change. and things wont be as simple. remember how you graduated from pri school, thinking you'll still be as close to your pri school friends even if you get into different sec schools and meet new and different people? well, what happens now? i dare say almost 80% of us lost contact or awkwardness gets between you and your pri school friends. well, I DO NOT WANT THAT WITH US! i want us to last. yes, i do.
absence makes the heart gets fonder doesnt apply here. it's like people change so fast, and long absence guarantee distance.

well, i am feeling woozy now. need to sleep. besides, bee sent this text:
"what're you doing? still on your bed? (better be!)."
see the words in bracket? yah, i BETTER BE. it's good for me.

i hope things get better. i really do. and i really do care. LOVE YOU GUYS!

ta-ta.

xoxo.

oh, bee wrote this to me. not very poetic but pretty sweet, in the real mushy way:

"B will not be forgotten,
A will not be gone,
B will not be abondoned,
Y shall last.

putting all together makes BABY,
and it symbolises that you will not be forgotten,
i will not be gone,
this relationship will not be abandoned,
and we and our love shall last."

i guess if you're into mushy stuff, this'll appear super sweet to you.
i love the simple stuff bee spouts naturally more,
like "i just hope that i'm able to give you that (talking about stuff and 'healing' each other's soul wounds) every day."
i like spontaneous sweerness. =)