THE DRAMA QUEEN

2010-03-02T23:56:00.002+08:00

OKAY I MOVED.

I GUESS I GREW UP.

2009-08-19T08:24:00.004+08:00

hola. i pretty much have lost interest in blogging. no idea why but i just got bored; i'm not even online that much anyways.

stalkers just proceed to Facebook.

if not, forget me.

♥

ACCOMMODATIONS.

2009-06-24T02:19:00.005+08:00

hello.

i want to move out of my house. because. my housemates are all mad-asses who talk so loudly even in the early morning. they literally shout every word they are saying. i mean, i am not being prejudiced but they are behaving exactly the way how other people perceived them to be: uncultured, rude, impolite, inconsiderate. tsk. to think they are from the most cosmopolitan part of their country. hello, disgrace much.

i wonder if Sean and Ben will take me in. i dont mind just bringing my bed and bunk in the living room.

last night, Evan, Dave and Kevin (Sean and Ben's housemates) showed Jo, Ben and i their Love Shack. we are happy. yes yes. not telling you.

anyways. IT'S ONE MORE DAY OF GRUELLING GUEST SITUATIONS till Jo, Sean and i leave Disney and lousy housemates (applicable to Jo and i only cause Sean has wonderful people bunking in with him.) for Miami and The Bahamas.

i am so excited to leave all the smiling behind for just a few days and rechargeeeeeee. who cares if at this untimely hour that i have my period and bugs have been invading my skin that i have scars and bumps here and there. NO. it does not matter cause We will be sailing on the Majesty of the Seas, playing poker, watching ~~more~~ sunsets ~~than sunrises~~, eat seafood, chill and Not Work.

So, :D

screw you Noisy, Obnoxious MIC peopleeeee! ahh stop shoutinggggg!

IN THE SKANK SPIRIT.

2009-05-30T03:32:00.006+08:00

Boombox by Ely Kim from Vimeo.

how awesome is that ~~fat kid~~! great taste in clothes and music, i must say. love outfit 33. if i were ever to be fat again, i must be like this! touchwood though.

anyways, i was at Roxy last night with my co-workers. it's unbelievable dirty (as in you know) and i didnt really had the most fun well, cause i guess i was missing peis and jo and sean and sahaa. and halfway, the only other girl that was with me disappeared with a french guy (roommate of another colleague), who by the way asked for my number just 30 minutes ago. uh hmm. well, apart from the skank-fest (people were groping, kissing, groping, kissing, groping, kissing, groping, kissing), the music was pumping. i swear i could dance the whole night, unlike back in Zouk when sometimes i feel like just standing still cause the beat was horrid.

well, once bitten twice shy. i would definitely GO BACK! hahahaha. next thursday, anyone?

p.s. did you know Disney owns the Orlando Magic (whom, i believe, will not win the Lakers. yah i know, hanging around with sean, ben and their housemates too much. espnnnnn!)? seriously, this company needs to have everything is it!

DAYS OFF.

2009-05-27T02:19:00.002+08:00

"true" Moroccan shisha. uh huh, not too much kick.

wells. i am just waiting for the toilet because my roommate, Kelly is in there. She's nice, i shall post photos of her soon. (life without a camera is hard when you're in the US. i never thought i would be so sad and unsatisfied.)

anyways. off days in Orlando are best spent..sleeping in, eating then shopping. ALL WITH HOMIEZ INCLUDED DUH. okay, not really anymore cause my bank credit is depleting fast. yoz, highway to nothing and poor.

so, today i shall do some exploring right along International Drive which is just outside of Disney Property aka Boring Town. i swear, once the bus reaches that area, the air is fresher, the sky way more blue and the shops get much more interesting. i get happy just riding the bus and passing by, i tell youuu. let's hope it wont rain and hope i have pictures. because peis and sahaa are workinggggg. hai sadness. okay bye, need to shower. i have less than an hour. ugh.

SH♥PAH♥LIC

2009-05-21T08:43:00.004+08:00

back in Washington when it was Spring and the weather was awesomexz.

seriously, now it's always rainy in Orlando. tsk. no goodz.

harlowwww. i have been MIA in Disney world and newfound freedom for oh-so longgg that i havent been updating. truth be told, it's this wash of nostalgia whenever i see the old blog page and get reminded how i used to blog whenever my social life has little to offer. erhm, me is having a whale of a time now. working life is dreary but living near friends is defo not.

well, let's see. a really quick checklist of what has been happening:

i have bad work clothes

have never bought so much clothes and shoes and undies in a short period of 6 weeks. to date, i have 4 new pairs of shoes, 20 pairs of VS undies, tons of clothes (dresses, tees, shorts, skirts)

havent clubbed (loserxzxz)

drank secretly cause me no 21

i bought 3 books in one trip to the bookstore. seriously. Eleven Minutes by Paulo Coelho is the sex (muahaha ironyy) Go Read.

have already been to ALL the themeparks but boo, not the Waterparks. what happeningggg

need to eat authentic Asian foood that is not cooked by me. seriously, American-Chinese food is all oyster and teriyaki sauce.

what else is interestinggg. check out my facebook for pictures cause i have not been diligent enough to collect the pictures into my lappie. will try to update more soon. dont worrry, i am GOOOOD here!

have a good day! hahs.

WASHINGTON, USA!

2009-03-29T06:01:00.004+08:00

hey all! my my, am i excited despite a total head-splitting ache from the jet lag. currently in a cosy country inn. economy class was a real bitch, but touching down - finally - really makes up for it. the weather's not as bad as we thought and clothes are definitely of suitable thicknesses. erhem?

i dont know what to say but right now my head's all blank. so. yup, the internet's super duper fast, my phone doesnt work, there are ang mohs everywhere, the trees are botak, i am happy, i dont really miss anything yet, the cars have longg number plates, i just saw a standing letter box!!

-.- i am dorky.

some pictures shall be up as soon as possible when more are up! ♥

ahh excitingggg!

LET ME BE SMALL SO I FIT IN A POCKET.

2009-03-13T01:24:00.006+08:00

HELLOOO. i was this close to adopting a rock as a pet today. at least i can ~~pet~~ ~~pat~~ cuddle something.

well anyways, i went around digging for books to read cause i practically developed a migraine from all the telly and lappie staring. all that were was this pile of chinese books which has words coming down vertically about loving yourself, being a strong woman and whatnot (most prolly my mum's). so that's that. i had cups of jelly while reading. but now my head's splitting up. ugh.

so. i am thinking tomorrow will be mildly more productive cause my Grand Uncle (granny's brother) just had his first baby. story's really complicated but main points are 1. he's almost 50, 2. his wife is less than 30 and is vietnamnese (mail order brideee). i am pretty excited (it's really pretty very easy to get me pumped up now) cause seeing a newborn is as good as getting a pet! well, at least i can play with her or something. ah i dont know. AND! i am deciding to go get the Ikimono film developed.

ooh i need aspirin. man, i am in such a state of mind to crave having new things thrown smacked in my face but nothing is happening cause well, i am not allowed to cause my mum thinks i need to be in more familiar waters now. but i dont know if this hype can last me till USA cause two weeks really is a long time and i switch like the chameleon sister! brrr.

this is so effing hilarious! but pretty sweet eh.

LESS THAN TWENTY.

2009-03-11T14:05:00.003+08:00

sometimes i wish i can just take back all the secrets that i have shared with others and lock them up in a chest. because we all need to let out some or else we'll be this one big walking bag of pent-up word vomit, but other people do not appreciate the fact that we regard them as special enough for us to share something. instead, they treat it/us like trash. the one other thing i dislike about people: ungratefulness.

so, i wanted Strawberry jam for my sandwich but my house ran out. it's weird how i smell strawberry on myself whilst eating the sandwich now cause my body butter's strawberry flavoured. wow, what a mouthful. that is pretty much the highlight of my afternoon. am i that boring.

KL's tomorrow and i cant wait! despite disagreement from my mummy but nyah, i am going! i need to be more interesting and i am betting my everything on USA in less than twenty!

EDITED: my mother threw up a weird hissy fit and now, i cant go to KL. i hate it when she pulls this kind of last minute cancellation stunts. she has done it so many times and i think that is why i dont have more friends. I am really sorry, D. ):

VISA CAME TO MAMA!

2009-03-06T15:33:00.003+08:00

hello! with all the A's mayhem, i begin to wonder how will I do if i did stay in jc and slog my guts (or not.) for it. nevertheless, i am defo going to US now that the five-minute visa interview is done with and i am "hereby approve(d)".

Congrats to All who did well!

HMM.

2009-03-03T21:16:00.004+08:00

What is your True Fear? Your Result: Losing Someone You love affection and the people in your life more than anything. Your greatest fear is that one day someone you care about won't be there anymore. You are a very friendly and inviting person, who draws in a lot of friendships with your kind, considerate, and loyal nature. However, deep down you are slightly insecure and unsure of yourself. You couldn't deal with it if you didn't have one of your loved ones in your life anymore. You don't have too much to worry about though, because with a friend like you, no one will want to lose you either!
Disappointment
Looked down on
Being Alone
Where Your life is Going
Commitment
Death
What is your True Fear? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

What mental disorder do you have? Your Result: GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder) You can never seem to calm down and always feel anxious for unknown reasons. You tend to not be able to concentrate and have headaches or other anxiety symptoms.
OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder)
Manic Depressive
Paranoia
ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder)
What mental disorder do you have? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

really "haha" to the paranoia issue.

CAUSE I TRY TO MAKE IT REAL FOR.

2009-03-03T01:41:00.007+08:00

James Morrison has the most amazing voice, and i need a little less drama and more mundane in all aspects of my life. it's not that i court complexity; things just naturally needs to be confusing around me. i mean, i might be such a goddamn walking contradiction, but i think i portray a clear enough image of what i want/need. so why am i still ending up with the wrong and the puzzles?

oh bloody hell. i need sleep and a huge glass of Tequila Sunrise. recently i dont like the bitterness of alcohol.

a tad of irony: Crushes Crush Your Heart.
(oh yah, why havent i figured that out huh. and noo, i am not in some new girly schoolgirl crush. it's an elevation of scandal.)

Are you in Love with someone who doesnt need you too?
(sorry keyboard. for getting angsty and started slamming.)

FUCK IT.

2009-02-25T23:47:00.005+08:00

hello. apparently malaysian anything (today's case is the bank or that receptionist urgh) cannot be trusted and thus, i have to reschedule my appointment cause that bloody cashier's order was rejected. now all i can thank god for out of the whole wasted morning and afternoon was that i didnt fail the interview cause that would mean i have wasted lots of money as well.

after a whole parade of screaming and "fucks", i have slept the sadness and all other emotions away and am well enough to email mr pang to inform his about today's screw-up and no, i do not anticipate the arrival of his reply. i mean, he's nice and all, but it's at times when you're the screwed-up that his sarcasm is left little to desire and definitely unappreciated. i mean, it is amusing if you look at it from a totally non-relevant and third party's perspective. i doubt the chicken laughs when it's being slaughtered.

oh well. i am pretty much more upset cause i have to get my ass back and skip the whole sleepover and Ladies' Night out. sorrry loves. ): next appointment's 5th march and i wish things really do go smoothly or else, i dont know what.

CAUSE I NEED TO PACK AND I CANT FIND A FILE!

2009-02-24T22:41:00.002+08:00

Visa interview in just less than twelve hours. i do not know why i am so nervous, but i sure am damn eager to get all these preparations over and done with! wish me luck cause i need to be there smoothly and without glitch, and i shall be back with more updates using G's wireless!

yay! sleepoverrrr! ok bye!

BUM BUM BUMMER BUMMER BUM BUM.

2009-02-23T17:08:00.004+08:00

helloooo. i think i havent been dealing with the Real World for far too long, cause just now when i was writing out the "List of Things To Bring For the US Visa Interview on Wednesday", i had this sudden panic seizure as to how things will turn out. i mean, like i am planning and fearing at the same time cause i keep thinking if what i planned is right and appropriate. it doesnt make any sense and i got so paranoid, i got two lists now: the other one is called "Things To Note On Wednesday" and i have written down all the things Mr. Pang sent to us via email like what's our relationship with H.U and what to say and the procedures. i am blabbering.

i cant wait till that moment on wednesday when the interview guy says "i hereby approve your J-1 visa blah blah". cause i havent been so panicky since exams like a week ago! wait, i wasnt even that panicky about exams cause i had my mind on this interview thingy. okay i need to go run or something to get my head off things cause i am making the third list ("Things To Do Before March") and still i am not calm! if lists dont chillax me, something is wronggggggg.

i feel a fourth list coming called "Things To Prepare For Stayover" and then there's the fifth, "Clothing Options For Interview". are you gasping yet? why am i such a bundle of nerves. i mean, i am not even thinking of "Clothing Options For Ladies' Night Out"! oh dont get me started.

LOVE, LOVED AND IN LOVE.

2009-02-19T12:15:00.008+08:00

hello people. after tremendous nights of Movie Marathons (!!) (yes tyng has nuuu life.), i have finally found my true purpose in life (HAHA to that previous bracket cause it's some serious irony). wanna hear it huh huh huh. you know you wannaaaaa! okay, it's WATCHING MORE MOVIES AND SERIALSSSSSSS! aint that awesome. i just love being this crapbag (pfft. gets me everytime! i love Friends.) sorta person and stream old old weirdo flicks in front of the comp and just well, dwell (MUAHA "well, dwell".) in other people's interesting life with a glass of cold milk.

okay, so other than that, i have got (a) my Cashier's Order done and (b) the Letter from the Bank with regards to how much moolahzx my mother has will be on the way tomorrow, (c) the internet network pattern of Malaysia - whereby in the afternoons it's pretty much crap and at the darkest hour of the night, it's woot! - totally figured out, (d) a new Favourite DMC Hangout where it's Vintage and Wonderful (should i spend RM120 on Two bracelets?!) but remember to bring insect repellant, and (e) brings me to the aboved titled mentioned topic.

well, you know. since my reality physical persona is seriously lacking in the Love department, my mental one has resorted to Romance from other sources. basically, i have got this awesome analogy of the difference between Loving a person, Being Loved by a person, and Being IN Love with a person.

Loving someone is like when it rains, you wait with a brolly to shelter him.

Being Loved is when it rains, you are the one being sheltered from the rain.

Being IN Love is either both of you share a brolly or, walk in the rain together.

- TradeMark of Tyng.

now, aint that awesome?! i am super impressed with Love Guru Tyng. and well, if you have seen that movie, you would also know i just know how to preach and the practising department is pretty much lacking. my friend made another analogy:

Loving is like looking after a sick person.

Being Loved is being looked after when you are sick.

Being IN Love is when both of you are sick.

muaha. a tad sadistic but still. well, pretty much i think people dont get Loving and Being In Love. it's a fine line i think, like how the emotions appears to be the same - the care, worry etc. but Being In Love is a whole new level of passion and understanding, commitment and devotion. Loving just occurs to everybody - friends, family, dogs, cats, birds. but Being In Love is like only the two of you exists on the face of the world.

how cheesy am i getting! Mariska Hargitay. bye!

♥

COULD IT JUST BE?

2009-02-18T04:01:00.006+08:00

hello. i realise how tiny snippets my blog entries are. well, sure enough they are a pretty close resemblance to my current life for the past few days, post-papers. i mean, i wake up mid-afternoon, and then stream movies all day, occasionally making a meal or two or shower and other miscellaneous stuff. then it's out with The DMC and then back to movies and sleep. then the cycle starts all over. i mean to get a job, but isnt it incredibly silly that i will be employed for only a month with frequent leaves (for Visa purposes)? no one will want to hire me.

well, Skins is having frequent updates so i am staying alive. plus, there are just tons of movies i can watch. awesomely, i finally caught Pretty Persuasion after soo many years of searching! not bad i say. very dark. i loved it!

"but i am sure it is love.

all you want to do is kiss him and other stuff, brilliant stuff"

- Pandora, Skins Series Three Episode Four.

just the plain and simple way of things.

2009-02-17T04:36:00.003+08:00

hello people. ooh i know it's 4.38 am and i am still not asleep. wonderful holidays! anyways, miss Nee Pok has a blog and i think she's really kooked cause she wished me Happy 19th on it and i didnt know about the existence of it till like a few days ago. haha.

anyways, this is boring me. no one reads anymore. are you guys waiting for US escapes cause i am almost there to a full confirmation of the trip and once my visa is done, it's fo' shizzle i am going!

well, i am done with Skins Series Three so far.

"Standing In The Way Of Control" by The Gossips.

woot!

"Why? What have you done?"

"I'm a Jew"

- The Boy In Striped Pyjamas

that made me cry.

A BIGGER HEART, PLEASE.

2009-02-15T16:40:00.003+08:00

hello people. watching Skins made me think about how people should just do whatever they want to and not be restricted by others and most importantly and most of the time, themselves. i have always been one such idiot, tying myself down and being rational and realistic because i have a large tendency to be such a fucktard, being controlled by just emotions. oh and of course, there's this nagging possessive obsession compulsive order-ish problem of mine which involves needing every detail to be exactly how i want them to be. that involves humans too and defo i know that they have their human rights so it's improper to manipulate people but why do you care, cause they dont get manipulated anyways and in the end, shit comes down and i get hurt.

my excuse is that i have a pretty clear what's not good for me so i try to make plans on things so i can live my life without being hurt. how come nobody understands, and they have to go around doing whatever they like inconsiderately and then their bloody "Mood Swings (end up giving me a bloody) Whiplash" - Twilight.

i mean that scene when Cassey gave Sid a kiss then LATER A BIG FUCKING TIGHT SLAP because he was supposedly together with her and then misled that she was sleeping with this guy who is actually gay so freaking scolded her, and gets on to hooking up with Michelle, who's close with Cassey, was just fucking awesome. and i just meant, the SLAP.

so Fuck you all, jerks. have a nice life, and stay out of mine. oh and other inhabits, stop pretending to be so bloody Cheery cause we all know you're not.

quote of the day: "ah why cut yourself when you can be in love?" haha. what an irony.

OH YAH, HAPPY V'S.

2009-02-15T00:55:00.004+08:00

oh please, i am so not bitter la. just got home from Melaka with part of The DMC and man, how i wish the night lasts forever cause nights are awesome and days are boo-some. sorry, am in a bad state of mind cause it'snothingiwanttotellabout.

now that the Papers are overrrrrr (YAY but no YAY), i feel lost cause i got nothing to do and i feel like i didnt study much and boo cause i want to earn money but i dont want to get a job. hm. i cant wait to develop the pictures from junyou's Ikimono. so cuteeeeee.

i hope next year, i will have a wonderful boyfriend who's into photography and has a kickass DSLR and some lomos. tsk, bye!

"And it breaks my heart."

2009-02-04T16:10:00.006+08:00

"Fidelity" by Regina Spektor

"And by protecting my heart truly
I got lost in the sounds
I hear in my mind
All these voices
I hear in my mind all these words
I hear in my mind all this music"

because of all the other shit happening, studying for exams paled much in comparison. and because so, i came home at twoplus a.m. and studied one hour. then woke nine hours later and mugged for another two hours. the momentum's not entirely lost yet; i will be getting back to Finance in just a while.

before Inventory Management, i just want to say as much as i like being a detective and finding things out myself, this time i am not going to do anything of that sort.

"I know I said I loved you but I'm thinking I was wrong."

2009-02-03T16:03:00.007+08:00

"New Romance" by Laura Marling

"and I'm sorry to whichever man should meet my sorry state,
watch my steady lonesome gait and be aware.
I would never love a man
'cause love and pain go hand in hand
and I can't do it again."

the more i try to study, the more i want to throw those goddamn books away and just stream youtube videos all day or buy books that are not proper and laze in my chair and read in the wind.

the more you need to do something, the more contempt it feels.

i think i have serious ocd, or whatever problem it's called. note the way i keep playing a new favourite song 43254789476750375 times every day for a whole week or so, and then never listen to it ever again till maybe months later.

does this say alot about me as a lover/girlfriend/person in a relationship? maybe.

Saturday's in a few; frantic sets in as time flew.

2009-01-29T16:01:00.009+08:00

hello fellow muggers. (self denial refuses to acknowledge any other living beings who arent in similar mind-blowing, heart-wrenching, hair-pulling ~~hell~~ circumstance as i am.)

circumstance like this.

yes i am studyinggg. or at least attempting to. i have a series of study activities planned out, but apparently sticking to them is the bloody problem. after two plus hours of silent screaming and pouring milo over myself and some sheet of notes, i have accomplished exactly HALF a module. wow tyng, real efficient. now another Five and a Half modules left! whoopee.

righty. enough sarcasm and back to hot waters. laters, gators.

p.s. enough of Happy "Niu" Year jokes, really. i will punch your face.

♥ you more than all the trees in the world.

2009-01-27T01:33:00.006+08:00

~~hello scene kids.~~

pfft that was soooo poser. SCRATCHED.

hello ROCKSTARZxzxz. Teck, Lin, Ginn and i are all discussing silly What White To Wear for my 19th. sorry guys that i am so adamant about going to Phuture. but hell! i want to club before exams and death.

Eu Ginn is in Penang says:
bday girl shld look like a bday cake

My Name Is Jialin says:
?!?
My Name Is Jialin says:
HAHAH

Eu Ginn is in Penang says:
delicious and sinful in other words

My Name Is Jialin says:
hah
My Name Is Jialin says:
you sure are coy

my friends are so cute; they make you want to puke guts with their theories. ok so mostly it's just Ginn.

and Teck.

[LUCKYWANNABE]I CAAAANT STAND BEING FAT ANYMORE! says:
fight fight fight
then make love

then AGRESSIVE

THEN slow

My Name Is Jialin says:
ty so not nice okays

[LUCKYWANNABE]I CAAAANT STAND BEING FAT ANYMORE! says:
wah jitao

tyng; I AM AN AWESOME PERSON CAUSE I QUEUE HAPPILY FOR CLUBS. says:
-.- teck

[LUCKYWANNABE]I CAAAANT STAND BEING FAT ANYMORE! says:
than slap here n there

fierce

i like

WAHAHHHA

i apologise for the sex talk. haha. cny first day was yummy! pictures next time.

RED FOR YOUR HEART. RED FOR YOU.

2009-01-26T02:43:00.011+08:00

i am not sure why but i cant quit red. does it look entirely weird on the grey background? i cant stick to white cause it's so plain. i am afraid of being boring and there's nothing worse than being ordinary. oh this reminds me uncannily of American Beauty.

i took on painting my nails as a last minute preparation for whatever's happening tomorrow. my hair's all washed and tied up in a bun for some extra curves. i am hardly sleepy so here i am. was pretty much surfing around until i curled up in the chair, hugging my knees; red against my skin sent me drifting.

this might not be it, but i know i am in for a ride '09. though not in the way i want its course to turn into cause i am too lackadaisical to make it happen. how weird can i get thinking about all these at the wee hours and on cny at that. but something stroked when i was looking at my nails. hearts, balloons, dawn, raspberries, dusk, bows. what do you think about before going to bed? who do you miss and how does your arms feel when they wrap around? where is your soul at and why do you live? i want to know, but sometimes a "hi" doesnt lead to anything else. sometimes it's all whim and fancy, and sleepy eyes and dripping dreams. sometimes we still dont get what we want after trying.

I've seen enough of the world to know that it isn't pretty. or maybe its beauty is too different for me to withstand. Did you come here to watch me burn?

Eu Ginn says:
how does it feel to like someone secretly?

tyng; says:
haha
tyng; says:
hmmm
tyng; says:
weird
tyng; says:
i kind of enjoy the torture at times
tyng; says:
like makes you go "argh, but uhhh"

- so i am masochistic. glam tyng, so glam.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

2009-01-25T01:57:00.008+08:00

even though i am half-way abandoning this space,

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!

by the way, the "talk" with Stacie about Orlando made me all excited and i really really really cant wait to get those admin stuff over and done with, so i can be on that plane and GO GO GO!

but who would i miss the most?

on a totally random note, i just found out that my new MNG shades are wayfarers. those that Audrey Hepburn has.

THIS MIGHT JUST BE IT.

2009-01-22T17:41:00.009+08:00

i was telling ~~well, no one actually~~ myself that it doesnt feel like Chinese New Year and my 19th are in a few days'/week's time. in fact, it doesnt even feel like Study Break's after tomorrow and then Exams and then Year Break and then Year Three and then Orlando and then Semester Two of Year Three and then Graduation and then what? okay let's not go there. i guess even with my degraded command of English you get what i mean.

then again, HB nearly made me tear today. it's the same every year; people (especially HB!) surprise me with birthday celebrations and i am so genuinely moved that i cry. but the weather today's horribly warm, so my tears didnt come out.

THANKS HB HEARTS!

but the River Island wallet has no compartment for notes! -.-

well. i havent got much to say actually. maybe i have grown out of blogging. is it possible to load pictures taken using a lomography camera to the computer? cause i want to get mine and i want to blog my pictures.

like this one:

muahaha i am such a narcissist. bye! going to read Facebook Bathroom Wall; some stories are actually pretty awesome!

LIVING ROOM.

2009-01-19T09:44:00.015+08:00

hello world. my back hurts like fuck cause i stood for three hours straight, carrying my laptop, its battery, its adaptor, the heavy leather-bound Starbucks planner, my pencils and pens and other stationaries, and my phones and yougettheidea.

well, just a quick update of school last week,

Wine Appreciation class saw us all high and hippity,

Natnat all red, hot and bothered (heh.),

and me in lace.

Then,

project presentations,

and crazy funky jo's hat.

i am thinking up ways to pair my Everlast white canvas plimsoll/pumps. (yup. bought them to satisfy my cravings for Vans' and/or Fred Perry's just yet.) i have a million ideas but i am not sure i can pull some of them off. cause they are just wacky and i dont want people staringg. of course there's the issue about getting/finding the dreamt up dresses i want to pair them with.

okay, it's bothering me that internet explorer doesnt love me (as in they are ganging up against me to make me buy Antivirus 2009 or else they block my usage. help anyone?) , so i am using safari instead. it's pretty irritating but whatever. i just hope my lappie doesnt die, at least before i get a rich generous boyfriend. both works.

no no, my life is more than just superficial things. i need to go get that darn book. why is it when exams are close, i have the urge to read fiction. food for thought.

is no one reading my blog anymore cause i have a feeling so. ah well. ugh, i cant get over the fact i busted six dollars watching Passenger (pfft.) and missed the chance to see erhem. it frustrates me, really. i am not exaggerating. i feel like such a bitch cause i am having some other vengeance to this whole matter. it's like i paid six dollars to NOT see him and it doesnt make any sense at all cause my ~~sole~~ one other purpose of school is to get to see him (i know, super gross. but it's part of a giggly schoolgirl experience!). i mean i WOULD rather pay six bucks to see him for about ninety minutes rather than Anne Hathaway being all looney. ahh, i am nonsensical. why am i even all hung up about that six dollars.

OHMYTIAN.

2009-01-11T13:38:00.008+08:00

i have been slogging on my projects (plural noted.) since i dont know when and it is only at this moment that i can breathe and close the ever-opened windows containing researches and my folders labelled "Projects". (note all the plurals sucker!)

i am wayy pass being pissed off, i cant even scold "fuck" cause well i am tired, fatigue, bored, sad, depressed. but now, i am happier cause well, next week tasks are cleared. just the week after next left now.

okay i have pictures. lame ones.

yay mng shades.

that night before we got drunk at Dolce.

Singapore Arts Museum is the sex!

so cold, so nice, so near erhm.

this is the stairs, not an art piece.

2009 is pretty awesome so so far. though i am overwhelmed by the mind-stimulating projects and nagging shoulder-aches after typing for four hours straight non-stop at the same position without going to the toilet for fear of losing my train of thought (yeap.), i still have The Dirty Mistresses Club to keep me company and we go driving around late at night and drink teh and be happy and laugh so loud. definitely one of the first few things i am gonna miss when i get shipped off to Orlando for six months (ignoring possiblities of failing Finance here). cant wait, but still.

okay got to go pee finally. hahaha no lah, crazy. asses.

Eliza Crawford Lee says:
you power

Eliza Crawford Lee says:
dont type la

Eliza Crawford Lee says:
no wait

Eliza Crawford Lee says:
you try using your toes

Eliza Crawford Lee says:
maybe you're more of toes-oriented

Eliza Crawford Lee says:
it's okay to look stupid. no one is looking

- "Eliza Comments on Typing" (2009)

HAH! ♥

The Dirty Mistresses Club.

2009-01-09T01:37:00.004+08:00

hello darlings. i am super busy cause i am venturing into something with my loves. stay tune for more information i suppose.

meanwhile, between school and a social life, i am almost dog tired. then again, if not be occupied now when i am young, then when right?

♥

2009.

2009-01-04T12:45:00.010+08:00

first post of the year! totally lagging behind here, cause foxy cleopetra is only working fine after the whole new-hard disk thingy. horrendous experience, seeing the blue screen after tremendous pressing of the 'off' button and having to pay for help. let's hope she doesnt die after a few months of motherboard problems. i do not have any cash for a new laptop. and i dont want to ask my mum either.

speaking of my mother, is it just mine or are all mothers experiencing pms/menopause full-forced? my mother has been going madder and madderer since.. well, ever since she hit 40. i cannot wait to run away to Orlando soon cause she has been threatening that she's s-e-r-i-o-u-s about not letting me go or not paying or too poor to pay. too many variations of the story, but all the same.

this morning's episode left me confused more than ever. because i still have no idea why she's sooo mad. (i think i talked in my sleep, replying rubbish to her whatever question without thinking. it's actually quite funny now that i think about it. maybe i'll let her know of the humour later on when she's not so angry.) one moment i was dreaming, and the next, i have all my magazines and dvds flunked across the room at me on the bed and everything within 50cm radius of the door (like the clothes on my easy-chair and somemore books) ends up scattered on the floor. there i was, sprung from sleeping position and watching her; elbows got scratched cause you know how bulky Vogues are and man those paper-cut-worthy glossy pages. it was immensely berserk. (or maybe it was a sign from God that i need to clean my room)

no, it's hardly domestic violence cause we're Chinese remember? "spare the ~~rod~~ things-around-you and spoil the child". ever so wicked, those ancestors' teachings.

i hope i dont turn into any angsty old woman when i hit the Big Four-O!
it's too hard on the world, my dears.

anyways, with recent boom of my social calender, please refer to facebook for pictures cause i am too lazy to upload. i think it's cause i am going out and having fun more, my mother thinks that i have changed and doesnt care about and help the family. seriously, just because i am cooped up at home doesnt mean i will be doing anything productive. parents just dont get it.

BLACK OR WHITE, NO GREY.

2008-12-29T23:47:00.006+08:00

funny, cause i have always known myself to be one who's rational and opinionated. but lately, my life events have been decked out in areas one greyer than the other. you know how i always tell people i havent got a favourite color cause it all depends on my mood? i am just indecisive, always weighing out opportunity costs here and there to pick one.

not exactly wishy-washy, but my considerations are too well-rounded and in the end, i cant put my finger on one choice. cause i know i will regret, and i never did intend to step out thereafter. maybe i am not as crash and burn as i am anymore.

well, it's all going to be back to the divided. cause i cannot handle grey areas as well as i thought i could and wanted to. emotionally draining to care about so many aspects of the grey area and my emotions always betray my intentions.

before i am nineteen, i shall deck all my mess in black or white. now, that's one hell of a new year resolution.

♥

I AM WAY SOAPY.

2008-12-25T00:12:00.004+08:00

Merry Christmas everyone. well, my hair smells like cranberry shortbread and strawberry shampoo and i was highly entertained by the rhyming script of The Grinch and the cheesy happy ending of The Family Stone. i am home alone like ~~that~~ those little boys in those Home Alone movies cause my mum's out and my brothers went to church. that was my eve this year, ugh.

no i am not mopey. i just wanted to party but killer traffic spoils everythingggg.

♥

CRANBERRY SHORTBREAD HEARTS.

2008-12-23T22:55:00.003+08:00

i suppose Christmas pressies came early for me. boo. foxy cleopetra is officially dead. the blue screen kept coming up even after i restart as instructed. and well, it just remains at the bloody blue Stop page and nothing happens. let's just hope i dont need to go through the ordeal of waiting for it to be repaired and can proceed straight to getting a Mac. doubtful, but i am dreaming. ahh, my music!

well, my second batch of shortbread was awesome. no pictures cause i am stuck with this lousy desktop which restarts after every minute! so if you're dear to me, maybe you'll get a heart or two, depending on how many i can make.

just in case i am stuck being a cavewoman,

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

TIS' THE SEASON TO BE JOLLYY.

2008-12-22T22:28:00.005+08:00

i am back from KL. boo. despite the killer traffic jams, how i wish i can stay there forever. visited just the Mid Valley Megamall and Sunway Pyramid (both which i have been before), and missed the Pavilion again! but i'll be back! this time, drive and not the coach. i cannot travel light, and after the shopping, i am lugging a mammoth around.

pictures are scarce,

on the coach on the way there. large space and light luggage, relaxed

this is very cool. disco bowling. i want to try the next time i am at Mid Valley.

they remind me of HB Hearts. haha

watched Australia! super awesomeeeee. Hugh Jackman is Hot!

my favourite stores on this trip was People's at Mid Valley and Kitschen at Sunway.

trying on clothes,

two of the many dresses i bought.

one of the men's cardi.

yay! shopping shopping makes me jump up and down. i have bought accessories and dresses and tees and men's cardigans. so super crazy. too bad no shoes caught me eye. but mummy did splurge on more than a pair of heels and a clutch from Guess.

i love spending money and eating Ding Tai Feng and Carl's Junior and popcorn.

cant i go back?

SHOP AND SICK.

2008-12-19T16:20:00.001+08:00

hey all. i am still sick as a dead cat, but yah, might as well stick it up and take a break over at KL. i need to shop and get away from the suppressing amount of projects parts to tie up. please dont get mad if you havent receive my email. i promise, before Christmas.

so be back in a few days with pictures, a rejuvenated tyng and some goodies. i hope.

leave you guys with some videos. i was youtubing last night and i had to post this awesome scene from Twilight. it's my favourite, and well, pretty much the only time i took my eyes off the other Cullens and swoon at Jasper, who twirled the bat so terrifically at around 1:09.

(pardon the quality. it was the most decent version they have)

and this is the original song,
"Supermassive Black Hole" by Muse

super awesome!

gives me a vision of blood red maryjanes stilettos, dark colored nails, big va va voom messy curls, red lips. something like Mac campaign.

ok, i am off to take another nap. i feel so drowsy all the time, it's weird.

and someone needs to help me. i think Cleopetra's going konked. or is it cause i have too much music? i dont know. i cant even open the music folder now. ugh. i dont want to lose all my pictures and music.

ah technology. gives me headache.

I thought I was a fool for no one
Ooh baby I'm a fool for you
You're the queen of the superficial
How long before you tell the truth

TO BE DROWNED

2008-12-18T13:23:00.005+08:00

Going Whichever Way The Wind Blows by Pete Droge

Bruises by Chairlift

1, 2, 3, 4 by Feist

it makes me move my head left and right, left and right.

commercial songs are the bomb. especially Apple commercials.

went Christmas shopping with Mummy. MNG was on mega-sale and we bought dresses and waistcoats. then, we bought heels that looks something like THESE click click Chloe ones. and i listen to Feist and dance in them, spinning round and round in my flowy chiffon MNG dresses. i am super happy.

little brother has a ipod now. i was alittle jealous when mummy actually said "i'll take it" just after looking at them in the Apple store. well, i have my Lovelle. but Sexy Cleopetra is still against itunes (even version 7) so i cant sync anything. which means all the new songs i have are still not in Lovelle too and no songs for him. need somebody's external hard disk to put all my songs in, so then i can give them to someone with a decent itunes and sync to Lovelle and Da' Freeze (heh. i named Brother's ipod since it's silver and i am reminded of ice.). now school's out, no one tech-savvy is near me.

that was days ago before i fell super sick. and i think it's Sexy Cleopetra's problem cause itunes work perfectly alright in another laptop so i am worried that it might die and i lose all my songs and pictures and whatnots. i thought technology is suppose to help us, but i guess when we get too dependant on something, it turns into a vice and we only have ourselves to blame.

holidays is a scam cause i have been going back to school to do projects and deal with Disney application nonsense. and when you are not feeling well, it is irritating to have to travel. the new malaysian custom is Ginormous like some airport or convention centre! not so good for lazy sick people like me either. ugh. i am so cranky right now.

watched Twilight for the second time, with the intense making out scene. AWESOME really.

need to get drugged and drowned in water, which apparently helps the sick in all miraculous way. bye.

BREAK

2008-12-13T14:41:00.006+08:00

Sahaa says: "Oh no , 2 weeks without your voice gonna suck :( "

strangely that made me smile and there's a warm fuzzy feeling inside cause if it was someone else, i would usually register sarcasm and flinch.

i made up a new club, tagging at Amber's blog today. The We're-Mad-About-Twilight-Cause-the-Guys-Living-In-Our-World-Aint-Close-To-Being-HOT-Like-Edward Club. very very true. though the flick isnt half as good as the books, just go watch to swoon over the cast and set please.

i've come to terms with the FOUR horrendous kilograms, but all my darlings still love me so i am good. as in not stabbing myself, but still gotta lose it all away duh. i am waiting for a trip to the market for some organic vege and fruits, but meanwhile i am chomping on apples and oranges and water and milk and eggs. i might stop eating meat, but i had sausages with my eggs and i dont believe i can be a herbivore cause even at my omnivorous state, i am more carnivorous. does this all make any sense?

oh well, CABANA tonight with The Boys and Jialin honey before everybody goes off for some three-day trip around KL, Penang and Malacca or Singapore or just moping around at home and making time for other friends. ha. we have been meeting every single day like a couple in young, passionate love. so it's all tip-top for some breather until well, mid next week and it'll all start again and plans for our Christmas partayee.and definitely, i will get back my old bod by then.

okay need to go condition my hair before shampooing it. try it, a good way to get soft silky hair but maintaining your natural waves or curls when it's air-dried. it's horrible when i condition after shampooing and my hair's all silky but limp. so i develop this quirky way and have soft, silky but voluminous wavy hair. wheeeee.

i might get cheated of 19.50 cause i transferred the cash to the person and didnt take a receipt and that person hasnt replied my email after i told her the whole receipt issue. ugh.

update when i get back. hopefully there are actually pictures.

♥

FOUR KILOGRAMS TO KILL THE WORLD.

2008-12-12T19:39:00.011+08:00

i lovelovelove my F21 bow hairband. one black one silver for just seven dollars.

let Orlando come sooon. i need to shop.

my scale is working; i gained FOUR kgs in just one week. i was screaming when i weighted myself, and this time my mummy let me. now the scale's in the middle of the living room, and i keep weighing and screaming and well, planning to lose all these extra fats. i am like FIVE kgs away from being a 55. not good.

this totally puts me back on the Bimbo meters.

sorry, whichever anonymous who commented (oh, do comment again to tell me who you are) :

"Seriously, stop saying you're fat.
You're hardly close to being so.

Don't be delusional please."

i think I AM FAT. so, i need to keep acknowledging this fact (again and again) and then exercise. ugh i hate that i need to run and all; it's like primary six all over again. the nightmare period.

1:20 am - well, as yummy the LUT LUT (just got home from a session. hai.) is, i am laying off supper and all other unneccessary meals. it's back to ONE MEAL A DAY AND EXERCISES.

not bitter this time!

FAT VIP.

2008-12-11T23:07:00.006+08:00

it's officially. i am super fat and i have love handles. but strangely, i dont really feel panicky about it cause i know when the boys go back to their own businesses overseas, i will lose all these happy (somewhat) weight cause i will be emo and lonely and not so entertained that my focus for staying lean gets diverted and i keep gobbling down premier food whilst laughing too loudly. besides i might be suffering over at Orlando next year for all we know. might as well pack some top-notch quality chow to go.

i am very good at consoling and comforting myself.

anyways, that day when we (more like eu ginn driving us la) were driving back from singapore, we saw this car taking a short cut and we followed suit, not seeing that (i only saw them just now) the arrows are pointing opposite to our direction - one way you know. and it ends up that person works for the immigration so we were stuck infront of the employee's gate cause the car has already gone in with the man tapping his auto-card and the gate opening then closing. so we were stuck at that one-way lane and people were driving to get their passports checked right beside us separated by a line of barriers. what to do, the lane is too narrow to u-turn, so junyou and i went down and got this officer to push the plastic barrier away and we manage to cut the line. i do not recommend this for anybody to try, and it was not our initial intention to cut the line duh. but that was such a Gossip Girl moment and i am secretly very proud of us for being capable of it. heh.

and today i commented that a SGD 1620 Lanvin top was "cheap" because i thought junyou said 162. thank god i did not add the following comment i had in my head - "it's almost a MNG's price range". phew. total bimbo moment; it would be way more embarrassing if i made that MNG comment. cause junyou said the salesperson's eyes were widen when i said it was "cheap". imagine if i start the whole "same price as MNG" charade in the store.

we have such mad adventures together i dont understand why we cant keep doing exciting things and skip the whole eating part. oh wait, i am not bothered with being fat. but yah, i even learnt to play mj and won a game or smth even when when teck yew was too preoccupied to guide me. see see. smartass.

i am suppose to be revising opera pms, but i have pms and i feel like sleeping or clubbing and drinking. it's just messed up how my life is about being fat. and seasonal fluctuating fun. why cant it be 24/7!

"Let It Rock" by Kevin Rudolf (muahaha.) featuring Lil' Wayne

♥

BIG FAT COW.

2008-12-09T09:24:00.012+08:00

06:30 - i really looked into the mirror (the past few days were whirlwind-dress-up sessions with the boys waiting for me in the car outside my gate or just downstairs where i can hear them grumble, so i had no time to check myself out.) and nearly screamed its smooth face cracked. my head swam when i focused on the huge foreign bulge from my tummy area and immediately i felt (and still feel) like a 55(kg). i swear i am nowhere near exaggeration even though there is no way to verify my actual weight since the scale is dead.

panicpanicpanic. i started looking for junyou's cardigan (believing that Calvin Klein can do wonders.) to hide ALL my fats in but then i returned it to him already. that set me into another wash of depression. to think i once swore to myself that i will not return to a 58. but now i can actually forsee bread-face tyng all over again. that pathetic enormous whale all lumped up at the corner (and over-spilling out of the corner of course) of the room in a party. it's just unbearable. i cant believe i actually let myself go completely, binging and stuffing my face with supper. i eat more than one cow every meal for the past few days. AHHH.

okay bimbo moment over. but throughout the journey to school, i was drowning in my insecurities and grieving for my lost far-from-a-bikini-bod-but-still-decent-enough er, body. i am having some serious case of pent-up hormones disorder. whyyyyyyyyyyy am i so FATTTTTTTTT.

okay, it's a DIET! i am ONLY eating HALF a meal a day.

STICKING IT UP.

2008-12-09T01:54:00.006+08:00

i realise that i refuse to let myself be incompetent or better speaking, dependent cause i know that when i am being such a wimp or a no-backbone-r, i am heaving my loads onto someone else's back. and no, i refuse to let myself be in debt to anybody. and neither am i comfortable with leaving my shit for someone else to clear.

which is why usually in the end, i am the one clearing all the berak barang-barang. and you cannot start to imagine and believe the nonsensical hell-holes some of the fucktards in this world leave and would leave for you.

SNAZZY JAZZY.

2008-12-07T23:47:00.000+08:00

happy december everybody. i have been mia for oh-so long now that the net doesnt interest me that much anymore. i keep forgetting my true purpose of finishing up my projects and end up facebook-ing photos. it's truely a bitch having my friends bumming around while i have too many loose ends to tie up in school.

i just want to fly off to orlando this instant. well maybe after a huge-ass party.

right now stuffing myself with prune-like grapes which are not soft and soggy but crispy somewhat, i feel like i am ready for some adventure, some action, some fun. i hate guilt, boredom, stagnant. why am i back here again, i have no idea.

i just cannot wait for the two weeks' break and hopefully i am able to squeeze in more excitement than possible. cause right now, i feel like i want to just skip school and let my classmates mark me down for free-riding on the stupid projects. maybe some pre-christmas booze and ALL DIFFERENT TYPES OF POST CEREALS (ooh, banana nut crunch, blueberry morning, shredded wheat. mmm.) afterwards.

BUT I LOVE WAFFLES CRISPS BEST!

been stuffing my face with too much food, i think i am growing fatter and fatter and fatter. and fatter. it doesnt help that the scale at home is spoilt cause my brother kicked it accidentally down the stairs. why is everything going mad!

p.s. go see VS '08 on youtube. Sexyback still goes uber well. okay so maybe William aint that bad either. every this time of the year, i start to doubt my sexual orientation all over again. muahaha.

i havent eaten anything since around 2 p.m just now. i feel so thin thin think. whee.

MAKE ME A STUDYING MACHINE.

2008-11-30T21:32:00.008+08:00

i dislike my sneaky brothers to a large extent. GRRR

they went to watch Twilight with their church friends (this is so debatable. i thought Christians are suppose to stay away from supernatural things like Harry Potter or vampires or ghosts uh! uh! uh!), and came home marvelling how wonderful it was.

my mummy thought i had finally gone over-the-line insane with my covering of ears and running about, screaming then followed by chantings of "lalala" every five minutes. i guess she still hasnt gotten over the fact that she has given birth to a melodramatic daughter with more than one loose nut in the head.

i have spaced all these sentences out because i am making a point.

there goes all the stress-reliever from the facial earlier this afternoon. i am totally upset now cause the desire to rush to the cinemas had to be restrained with a promise made to my favourite HB Hearts. yes, loyalty to my friends.

okay, it isnt entirely that. it's also cause i have a tons of projects to do and i am having an untimely writer's block. which means staring at the blank word document and not generating anything. i am so afraid za will decapitate me if there is still a blank page for my part this tues.
not to mention the human resource test also this tuesday. which bores me. really sleep-inducing i tell you.

need the holidays need money need to shop need green tea ice cream need forever21 yellow fedora and purple headband need friends need more happiness need to sleep need fashion need to own a library and a cinema and a 'That CD Shop' need to slack and lepak around somewhere nice need to be a tourist and visit Haji Lane need to club need to dance need to drink need to not worry need a tok-kong camera need to take pictures to document my life and raging emotions need to get what i want.

muahaa generally i am not thinking about all those pesky things.

ooh, i love Jude Law in the Dior fragrance commercial.

and Gabriel Aubry in Hugo Boss

and Jamie Dornan in Dior.

so many hotties. yummmyyy.

my blog layout suits my usual state of mind. dreamy and blurred. soft and peaceful. muahaha. okay not entirely true.

WEEKENDS

2008-11-29T15:16:00.013+08:00

this week has been HECTIC, i dont know why, just mentally draininggg. i didnt get my usual Wednesday sleep, so technically i have been sleeping only four hours maximum per night for four nights. which explains why i crashed straight after i got home from town with my HB Hearts.

and right now i still havent slept enough even after 15 hours. hehe. i think if there was a kind of monetary reward for sleeping hours clocked, i might be really rich. but mainly i love sleeping to enjoy that moment of waking up leisurely with the purr of the air conditioner and the soft light filtering through the windows and murky rays (for waking up after noon) or golden rays (for mornings) pour over my blankets. hmm, wonderful.

it's, of course, not all work and no play this week.

wednesday - after mice meeting; visited Chinatown, pretending to be tourists with my HB Hearts. i kind of love that place, and i bought $3 flip flops which are tres comfy. and this vintage poster of a shanghai woman and her dog. then i realise i cannot wear hats cause they'll look weird. this saddens me cause well, i dont really like it that i cannot do something. especially when it deprives me of one very very trendy aspect of fashion.

thursday -

$3 from China town!

yes, Disney spirit!

i have an obsession for ribbons.

yesterday - was henna, bought a star-"studded" dress, more hat-trying and i found a Forever21 yellow one which is XS so it fits my head, and there's this ultra cute hairband in purple. i want i want i want but i am running low on cash cause i want to save up for the Disney trip. and ben angered me when he bought a zara hat which looked so good on him and huiying and g and uncle and jo and everybody but me. dinner at California Pizza Kitchen was more than enjoyable; i need to go back.
i overrated myself with the yellow mng dress and a white-and-yellow bow on my right wrist. if i had a camera, i would camwhore. wenlin called me a Barbie Doll. ha. now i do hope that's a compliment though her reasons were along the line of "want to strip you". -.- i have horny dirty ~~friends~~ classmates (yes, classmates only).

bye.

The Show by Lenka click click.

this song was Shereen's ringtone as heard when it rang during the DAM ica.

took me that three seconds to fall in love with it.

INCAPACITATE ME, SWAY MY EMOTIONS

2008-11-25T00:22:00.007+08:00

i think peis and i are clicking on a whole new mutual understanding level. i was marvelling at how her msn nick totally describes my inner tribulations, conflicts, "battle of the emotions". though i am deadly envious of how she has erhem who i believe is equally interested in her and that they will be hitched by Christmas, we're still on this mutual platform about longing, wanting and you know what i mean.

if only my desires are well/easily matched by reality. i dont even ask for any highs or kicks out of life; i just want what i want.

anyways, I GOT OFFERED THE DISNEY ATTACHMENT. i suppose i am going ahead to take it, though right now, i am not so keen about it as i was. i wonder why. and funny, cause suddenly i lost all interest in everything. maybe maybe maybe i am broken again. okay, no. i am just deadly bored with life. and that i didnt get to eat any green tea icecream or sugar-coated crust of the apple strudel. ok, it's not really that either. back to disney, i think almost everybody who interviewed got the bloody offer. so much for exclusivity. okay why am i grumbling.

i need to be happier about my life. and maybe this six months in Orlando (ugh) will change my perspectives about things and ~~i know i cant wait~~ maybe i cant wait to be more independent than i am right now. okay this all sounds wrong.

okay i think it's pms. and it doesnt help that my stupid disc drive is all weirded up! whyy am i not more tech-savvy.

BEHOLD THEE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT!

2008-11-23T22:53:00.011+08:00

nothing gives you the ultimate Christmas-y feeling than walking around the mall! even starbucks have snowflakes printed on their cups already and body shop staff are decked in red tees and shimmery eye makeup! makes me all anticipating how this year's will be like for me (now that market value's looking pretty upped). then again, i would need to worry about what to wear. it wouldnt be such a pain if i had more choices you know.

sidetracking, mummy's concert went top-notch despite my failed attempts to connect Foxy Cleopetra to the projector. so there goes the wonderful slideshow i had put together pfft. disappointinggg. there's always next year i know. meanwhile, i need to figure the problem out. hah, like i can!

neeways, today was awesome shopping with mummy after our nap haha. though i didnt get those tribal, red-indian sandals i wanted cause there was only size 9 left!!

i got another pair of MNG shades! havent got round to taking any pictures, but here's the shades!

muahaha, it's semi-cheetah printed inside!

should i go back to bangs? i want to look like the model. somewhat.

i love the new collection! especially this look! too bad they dont sell the pieces!

(grumbles)

not bad! but super loose. why no XS!

i might wear this when i am 23. super matured but wow, it shows off a woman's contours!
(me love my brown hair. hehe.)

need new clothes soon! wonder why i cant seem to find things that catches my eye. i just keep buying shades and accessories. which is pretty idiotic if i have nothing else to wear. i cant possibly wear the accessories naked right? ugh, not a pretty sight. meanwhile, mummy's going on about all the new skincare i need. and shoot, i forgot to buy shampoo again. man, now imagine me. hair smelling like some men's shampoo, with no clothes but skincare, makeup and accessories. NUTS.

(i love the Circus theme at the MNG website. and of course, the Frosty Winterland one at Agnes B.)

oh mummy, get me that supp card soon so i can get into clubs freee.

p.s. why does that stupid Agnes B. bracelet costs over $200 SGD! not sensible pricing i tell you! stupid cleo features expensive stuff!

p.p.s. OHMYTIAN I NEED A FRIGGIN NEW WALLET! the current one's disintegrating and i cant bear to buy a new one cause i dont want to spend cash on something i cant decide if i will love. hard to find one i love.

p.p.p.s. i finished Breaking Dawn! now i am getting ready to dig my nails into my legs so i wont run into the cinemas and watch the effing movie 27th Nov. you guys are buying me popcorn 28th Dec, Sahaa and Peis!

bye!

THE THIRST, THE HUNGER - DESIRES

2008-11-23T01:03:00.008+08:00

i am very, very thick.

i just found out that malaysia's screening of the Twilight movie is wayy nearer than i had expected. 27th November, darlings. like two full weeks (give and take) earlier compared to singapore's!

but nuuuu. i CANNOT (gasps) go skipping into the cinemas because Sahaa threatened to kill me and Peis naturally insisted that i am "not to watch". i forsee myself staring at the cinema, drooling, whenever i shop around during weekends, and curse the authorities for bringing it in earlier than singapore. (you good la, you.)

ohmygodddd. i need to watch the movie now now now now now! it so doesnt help that when i read reviews, it was said that the girls who were there for the Midnight Premiere screamed people's ears deaf. imagine me there. hehe.

this is my best wallpaper, i tell you.
it's in tiles muahaha!

i see edward and bella!

WARWICK AVENUE AND CHAMOMILE TEA

2008-11-22T21:37:00.015+08:00

i dont know if it's because the cold's distracting me, but i am feeling a whole lot better emotionally. it's sorta weird how the whole mood swing from here to there, but i am not intending to overthink it as much. i am sick and i need as much rest as i can get. nevertheless, i am counting on things to get better and better.

i know i shouldnt but i still do. this is the part of me that never dies no matter how many times somebody kills it. yes, even i get irritated at myself.

well, even though feeling down sucks, i have to admit, i like listening to emo songs. scrolling through Lovelle, i have quite a collection. so the whole day (more like half cause i woke up only around three) was spent on the comfy reading chair with Breaking Dawn, some chamomile honey tea to clear my block nose, and all the emo songs i can find compiled into one playlist, playing in the background. at that moment, with the wind blowing in, i know i am alright. i was holding on fine; even without a pair of strong arms to hold me, or the warmth of somebody's breath to fight the cold. i liked being alone.

bah! i am less bitter, dont worry.

ha topshop paper clip as hair clip! i am highly animated.

bitter woman! that would be me. not za.

super interesting eye mask in the shape and looks of cucumbers. dont tell my mum i took a picture of her.

if you read the Twilight saga and is bothered enough to further research on the little mentions of poems, i figure you might have touched on quite a fair bit of famous works from Shakespeare, Robert Frost, Tennyson etc. some of my favourites!

i truly love Stephanie Meyer. her books are a must-read! that includes the new adult fiction, The Host. which i will get round to after Breaking Dawn. haha. maybe i aint so bitter afterall eh.

p.s i was at the Stephanie Meyer official website and i found out that she has the exact same actor in mind for the role of Jacob Black as i do!

remember Steven Strait from The Covenant, Sky High and 10,000 BC?

yum.

IF I KEEP MYSELF IN A BOX, MAYBE I WOULDNT BE SO BEATEN UP.

2008-11-20T21:58:00.001+08:00

DK's msn nickname - "Be Careful Who You Dance With" - slapped me hard, twice over. ugh, so true. true enough.

my mood has maintained its new low point the entire day, ever since last night. i know it's not the best of times to be fretting about anything else part from my Destination & Attractions Management test tomorrow, but i cant control my emotions and they overrule anything. i am not really comforted at any point of time. i felt tormented and agonised. i was in the basement, with no lift, escalator nor stairs. worst thing is, that person might not even know what he has done to me.

and well, cause you say things here and people read, another 'he' assumes things and here comes another burden to my heavy heart. i am not a fan of being accused. and i thought i should make it perfectly clear how i am not a forgiving nor forgetting person. oh, and how i am turned off easily. and how petty i get. how i love to shut people out without giving them another chance to explain, to talk, to change; to hurt me again.

and also how i judge and criticise people, and then most probably stick to that 'assumption' for life, cause i usually keep an open mind when i meet new people and i believe that i can successfully understand them very well. so i have faith in my judgement and that is why i am confident that i am not wrong. and even if i am, i dont care cause it's my life and i live it for me. so what if i just decide that i dont want to be friends with the future president. argh, rants rants rants. no comments please.

"Take A Bow" has been on repeat for the 40th time now. maybe i should buy a house and live with the other three members - huiying, jo and nee - of the Bitter Women's Club. if they havent got out of the misery by that time. or else, it's just me with 375 cats, and i dont even like cats.

ah, as if no mental misery is incomplete with the physical ailments, my body is coming down with influenza.

p.s. yes jo, i know. a passerby in my life. but i didnt want him to be just that. ):

2008-11-20T01:05:00.001+08:00

i am not exactly in the best of moods.

I heard of a man

who says words so beautifully

that if he only speaks their name

women give themselves to him.

If I am dumb beside your body

while silence blossoms like tumors on our lips.

It is because I hear a man climb stairs

and clear his throat outside the door.

from "Let Us Compare Mythologies", Leonard Cohen

now, that just seems like one book i would like to have. and duh, everybody should own too.

it just irritates me when that one thing bothering me seems as vast as the sky and everything else rides along the wave and annoys me further.

COLD SHOULDER

2008-11-19T21:46:00.010+08:00

i dont know about you, but i am highly unsatisfied with the available msn statuses. i mean, sometimes "Busy" and "Away" are just not enough to state clearly what exactly the other party is up to. i realise i need a "Day-dreaming" or "Dont Wish To Talk To Just Anyone" or "Dont Click Unless I Initiate A Conversation" or "Distracted" or "Doing Tutorial".. you get my drift.

i was in total daydream mode today. after the pathetic one.point.five hours of tutorial, the weather was beckoning me to sit myself down somewhere and just watch the world go by. unfortunately, the stupid rain caught up and nobody was up to accompany me. so i made my way to starbucks and it was just me.

i dont know if this is common for you guys, but whenever i want to be alone, somebody has to intrude. one male staff there told me i look "dreamy" while cleaning the table next to mine. (i wondered for a second if that was a compliment) not to entangle myself in anything else, i murmured a "thanks" and turned back to my laptop, reading Midnight Sun Chapter One. (i desire the book so bad i want to hunt the idiot who stole the transcript down, and bite his head off.) green tea frap was awesome, but i was basically shivering in the cold that i had to have some hot lemonade-ish tea after. not very good for the body right now, i am feeling hyped.

of course, i manage to find a replacement for my missing leather cuff bracelet. i am just trying to be less picky about how the leather seems more flimsy and not as thick as my missing one. this is why i hate losing things; i can never forget the original to really embrace the new. that is also why i have tons of old things in my closet.

oh. a million things in my head, a thousand to kick out and a hundred to remember. Adele is perfect for rainy starbucks session. how i wish i could sit there all day.

i am watching this show about celebrities talking about their fears. (i shant comment about how idiotic some of them are: think rabbits, cats, birds. worst of all, eggs?!! really makes me want to scream profanities at the telly.)

come to think of it, i dont really FEAR anything. i dislike fishes cause they stink, both dead or alive. i find lizards yucky. and bursting of balloon and scratching of styrofoam are just irritating.

my mummy's comment to this is: "Girls who dont have fears will usually have trouble getting a boyfriend". pfft. yah, so that's one other reason why i am to be left on the shelf with 345 cats and 253 dogs eh.

almost halfway through this one. it's a grim one.

PHUTURE NOV '08.

2008-11-17T21:20:00.001+08:00

here are the pictures! courtesy of well, my lousy phone and za's tad better Omnia. haha.

eliza's doing, who eagerly sent me it upon hearing that i want to post the pictures up. -.-

it was best club experience so far (a contender among the three pathetic times?! hah. yes, good girl tyng.), despite G's lost necklace pendant and my leather cuff bracelet! and also, even though that effing dj from the US really messed up. grooves that were hard to dance to, tsk. sean provided a technical explanation to it at some point in school today, but nyah, i was too distracted to comprehend.

the Disney Interview went supposedly okay, and sean was well, sean and quite a pleasure to be paired with. not to metion Sue Sharpe was warming? but i was fighting hard not to cringe when i watched the Disney introduction video; guess i dont deal well with over-friendly people and their plastered grins. you think i was cheery eh, they made us all look bitter. it made me happy that my braces are off. the rest of the day that followed was a meaningless bleak cause i never used my brain for anything. it was all focused on the interview.

James Bond re-run is on channel five. the bad character - woman - is smoking hot. and Denise Richards when she was younger. yummy yummy. okay, got to go try cram law into my head again. i am getting useless at this studying thing.

STARING INTO.

2008-11-17T01:33:00.005+08:00

how i wish tomorrow, okay today, is just another day of school. but nuuue, i have to be interviewd by Miss Sue Sharpe (wonder if she has a sharp tongue. geddit? haha okay, lame.) with Sean since it's in pairs. (so many 'S's.) i just know i need to be more than alert, i need to be on the tips of my toes. but right now i cant even stand straight on my soles. -.- not very good.

i tend to have this single obsession for one song. the past few days was "Eternal Flame" by the Bangles. today, "Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow" by The Shirelles. Carole King's version's not as catchy.

mixed emotions are funny. i think my heart got semi-broken tonight, but distraction was around so it hasnt really hit me. then again, i know it shouldnt even hit me at all cause that would be stupid - being hurt by some moron.

oh yah, Knut died. i think. goodbye.

p.s. Phuture pictures are up on Facebook and Friendster. maybe i'll post them here too. depends.

ANGSANA SEEDS.

2008-11-14T22:18:00.017+08:00

the death glare.

esplanade and marina square is the sex. yah, high school musical was great too.

i am sorry it's all me and i am sorry i am a bad person. sometimes you just cant force your heart to do things the way they are supposed to be done. what can i do other than feel guilty and apologise.

plunging into ~~love~~ a relationship has never been my kind of thing. i consider this aspect of my life so thoroughly that all my sensibility is used up. (therefore in the other areas, i am a major klutz.) i just cant get into something with someone knowing that i will be taken away with just a snap of the fingers. that would make me a Slut. so rather than being a Slut, i choose to be Difficult, Play-Hard-To-Get, Bitter Virgin (touchwood.)

ok i am going to cram law into my head. fill it up fill it up till i club. i guess what attracts me the most about it is that nothing else matters once you're in; drowned in the beats, drowned in new-found sins so lethal nothing else is as notorious. Sin City.

p.s i dont get why once in a relationship, one has to avoid the clubs. i mean, if there's the will, there's a way.

PET SNAIL.

2008-11-14T01:37:00.007+08:00

i still have makeup on my face and i reckon my skin is blaming me for being so lazy. i have got myself Knut, a pet snail the size of a pea and he is super lazy cause for a moment, i thought he was dead being all curled up in his shell. then he crawled and proved that he is a better player at the Play Dead game and then went back in. i guess even snails have to sleep. i keep having to remind myself to be gentle cause he is super vulnerable and i might crush his shell if i hold him too hard.

he was so adorable crawling across my laptop. but now he's just playing mati. i want more pets. cause yah, i am lonely and something has to fill the hole somehow.

look at my hands (the one with the dark nails). i look almost alabaster under the sun. with the dark red nails, perfectt. just too bad i dont sparkle like diamonds. yes, still on and on about vampires.

p.s i love small words. but i am lazy to go make all the previous entries the same. ugh. just dont go reading them.

can i stay curled in my shell foreveerr?

(really, does anybody ~~cares~~ read anymore? cause i am a bad person.)

YOUR ARISTOCRATIC AIRS.

2008-11-12T16:32:00.009+08:00

that day, as if our brains are not strained enough, uncle got us on riddles. i am not going to post any cause i didnt do well in solving them as much as remembering them. you're not here to solve riddles anyways; you're here to read about me. egoistical, i know. but still. that's pretty much about school; other things went in a blur as usual.

i am very proud of myself cause i made lunch - there's a soup and two other dishes. i am getting more and more confident about living alone or going overseas, though the laundry and other random cleaning still gets to me. but at least i know i am capable when i am compelled to take care of the housework, that it's all just laziness and not inability.

i guess i take pride in the fact that when it comes down to nothing, i can handle things despite tears and blood. my independence has always been on the List of my Capabilities (in event of the need to list one), somewhat. of course, that takes a whole lot away from the Sexy ratings cause Asian men fancy the weak and depending ladies. and i never really took comfort in relying on a sole Someone. it gets awkward for me to leave my burdens to him (since i doubt i am lesbian or bisexual) cause i know that forms an attachment and i dont really think i can fulfil the requirements that comes with it. a better description, minor "Commitment Phobia".

sidetracking, i think "Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia" (literally, "fear of the number six-hundred-sixty-six") is cool. the word is spelt so beautifully with all the "H" and "X".

enough of my self-shrinking session. on to better things, i finished Eclipse and though it isnt as mind-blowing as the previous two, it still grabs and leads you into wanting Breaking Dawn bad. it makes you way more dead jealous of Bella, than you already are.

speaking of Edward, i was randomly hopping to people's blogs and this girl has a boyfriend whose picture reminds me of the Asian (okay not very since i think he looks mixed) version of Edward (with Robert Pattison mixed together, rather. like the airs of Edward from the book mixed with Robert playing Edward in the film.).

naturally, he's hot but there's even this rare hint of aristocratic airs about his features. (even more attractive than M. gasps!) and since that girl isnt much of a beauty, it led me into another reverie. some people just got all the luck. well at least she isnt those "zzxxzz" or "euiiie" twits. good english, rather. throw in good fashion sense and rich too.

oh yah, people should start blogging more interesting things and use better english. cause i am getting bored fast.

this is pretty Sexy.

i think the new LG Lotus phone click click is super pretty! not so much of a tech-savvy thing though. and yes, i am feeling really cultured so i am browing the Esplanade web.

i guess in one way or more, i am like a vampire. oh, That Lingering Desire. To Have, To Own. (sighs.) not sex, please.

THIS IS A LOSING BATTLE.

2008-11-10T01:06:00.011+08:00

i was going to go with ting's "THIS IS WAR" pitch. (see her blog for more info.)

but really, i am on the losing end. no arguments; period.

pardon me while i scurry off and try to save whatever last few morsel's left of my dignity, honour and pride. update soon, with the latest information of my ~~downfall~~ outcome.

thank god for the ultra nice-smelling and peaceful Raspberry Root Sleeping Mask. it's just too bad i cant sleep as of yet.

(updated).

so maybe the test wasnt as bad. i am sure it's the lack of much-needed practise that caused my downfall. many others went down with me, i heard. then again, trust no one, not even yourself. hahahha. ok spy madness.

neeways, the cold is destroying all reason and sanity. jo, huiying, peis and mostly I, are laughing like mad. haywired to the extent that i measured my eyelash and it's one centimetre. come on baby, grow to two. tyng wants to be a camel.

plans are meant to be carried out, not broken or pangseh-ed. so let's go dancing thursday night. drink and dance, drunk and done! jo's phone vibrated vvwhooo. "Cookie Jar" and Katy Perry please!

peis and sahaa are starting on New Moon and i am glad they gush like how i did. that proves i am not crazy, but pure infectious. wouldnt it be wundervul if we watch the film togethers!

facebook is good when pictures are updated. oh, cute and hot all at the same time this round! (swoons)

DUMPSTER ON FIRE.

2008-11-09T01:01:00.007+08:00

i swear to God, it must be either

pure bad luck,
karma for breaking a considerable amount of hearts lately,
voodoo,
black magic, or
intentional physical damage done to it and me

but my laptop is killing me!

first there's the itunes shit, which thank god, bobby has found out that many people are experiencing this technical glitch on Apple's part and it's not a virus. phew. so i just need to wait for a repatch (yes, i dont know what it means too.). but till then, NO itunes.

but i cannot open the discs that bobby has burnt for my enjoyment just now. Which are Skins Season Two and Underworld. i am so pissed off now i could wrench somebody's head off his/her neck.

Finance was a disaster too, cause when i tried to comprehend, my head throbs and aches, and the world swims (ok, i am just about as minorly dramatic as Bella now.) so fast that i have to take my eyes away. but i did manage to cramp some basic information in, so all i have to do later (like real later) is try more questions.

i do hope the test questions wont be unexpected, like how mathematical-related quizzes always catch me off-guard. i mean, i could study all the existing materials i have but when i see the questions on that day, my jaw drops and my head swims somemore in the blank.

Eclipse is going well. i really havent take much attention off the priorities to read it. i just read some when i had my masks on and when Finance threatens to take all my brain cells away. currently at page 290. and i am trying not to rush it cause Breaking Dawn might not be readily available and i dont need another torment; there's the anticipation of the movie already.

i guess G's right. i am obsessed with the saga cause i have to mention it every post. but it's Twilight. i suspect some black magic blessing with every book printed. it's seriously.. enchanting. like how the idea of Edward's love for Bella is.

i admit this is a pretty darn bad week. i just hope it doesnt extend longer. even when things are looking better on the market value status, annoyment still creeps up. not grateful at all, but i secretly wish these wantings, old and new, will last a lifetime. better liked than not, i presume. it's all vanity.

i'd have to say, my ang moh's still pretty rad! hohohoho.

"It's late," he said again, murmuring, almost crooning now, this voice smoother than silk. "Sleep, my Bella. Dream happy dreams. You are the only one who has ever touched my heart. It will always be yours. Sleep, my only love."

He started to hum my lullaby, and i knew it was only a matter of time till i succumbed, so i closed my eyes and snuggled closer to his chest. - page 195 (swoons)

RATSS.

2008-11-07T23:39:00.020+08:00

i just turned from bitter to angst or vice versa, whichever one's worse.

my itunes is really konked up now. there were no songs when i opened it in the morning, and it freezes my entire computer whenever it gets to a point of "Processing Album Artwork" or "Determining Gapless Playback Information", after i import the files. i have no idea why, but it is just effing bullcrap cause the idea of me having no music and no itunes makes me really grr! now my itouch is just plain useless aint it.

also, there's the whole thing about me being deprived of some scandalous fun. because icas are all lining up like a choo-choo train, and thus mugging is necessary. i need to go club now. need music. need vodka.

okay, look at pictures and be merry while i try to calm myself down by looking at my pretty purple manicured nails and maybe reading Eclipse (yay!),

or watch Season Two of Skins. or Underworld movie 1 and 2.

i shall study fucking Business Finance tomorrow. need to pass monday's test with flying colors while i can.

HEADBANDS CRAZE!

i think peis really did kiss me.

huiying looks really hot here despite the crazy specs, courtesy of jo.
check out that cat-like smile!

this msn dp was flashed to the whole class so big on the screeen!,
when pang pang shared desktop with za, who i was im-ing.

Japanese mascara gives you killer lashes.
but easily clumpy like roach legs!

i am at the Twilight movie web. click it. i need December 18th to be here soon! but i think Edward Cullen in the book is still beyond Robert Pattison. but yes, he's pretty hot.

ho ho ho, i totally got peis, sahaa and i think, massie into the Twilight craze! peis was gushing while she read and she was only at page 36! i think she might die when she goes further.

as for sam-sam/sahaa, she bought both Twilight and New Moon at one shot just nows.

YOU-NEED-SEX/U-NI-SEX.

2008-11-03T01:48:00.014+08:00

title's a play of the word "UNISEX", if you havent got it. breaking it up, it sounds like "you-need-sex". haha. i thought it was hilarious, my discovery. dont rain on my parade.

anyways, i wanted to post my baby up. a one-minute speech for tomorrow's lesson. i seriously think a minute is so short i hardly have time to blink.

The Importance of Form (Appearance) and Substance (Ability/Competence)

In earlier periods of our mercenary society, appearances already play a significant part. With ethereal exquisiteness, the hierarchy gladly offers perks and power. However, humans now turn to a more sophisticated approach in the definition of “beauty”.

Quoting my mother, “Nowadays even graduates don’t get a job easily”. This bluntly-put point tells us that qualifications are no longer the ticket to success, but a requirement, a basis.

So what distinguishes someone from the rest of the ravenous eager interviewees? I believe that it’s a combination of form and substance. Going in depth, one doesn’t have to be a looker, but definitely groomed and pleasant on the eyes; with the right amount of IQ proven with the resume, he/she has to go beyond with the right attitude, intellect, and a whole lot more of abstract indefinable subjective qualities.

My last words are “It is beauty that captures the attention but personality which captures the heart.” The form can only take one as far as the first impressions; it’s the real substance in us that eventually keeps what we want.

i am pretty proud. cause my summary skills improved. i had to cut more than a paragraph to fit it into 1 minute and 8 seconds.

anyways, my favourite flower is the Ruffled Tulip now. (not that anybody cares.) credits to the book "New Moon".

i had to stop at page 453 to do my work. i was falling so in love with Jacob Black, but Edward is coming into the picture again with much impact to the heart indeed!

it's really mesmerizing and i think my brother's right about your soul gettting captured by the words. i just keep wanting more more more. (no relevance to sexual ding dongs please.)

this is my wallpaper now!

wells. i am off to bed. i hope i wont pick it up and read till daybreak. i have presentations tomorrow and i need to be sane.

"Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind; and therefore is winged Cupid painted blind”
– Helena, Midsummer’s Night Dream.

"Jacob's slow, deep breathing was the only sound in the room - like a lullaby hummed to a child, like the whispers of a rocking chair, like the ticking of an old clock when you had nowhere you needed to go. It was the sound of comfort."
- Bella, New Moon.

NEW MOON.

2008-11-02T00:13:00.007+08:00

i couldnt think of a better title cause ever since i gave in to the temptation of getting into this book this afternoon (shant bore the space with the reasons), i got totally absorbed.

it totally diverted the attention from the killer cramps after i popped two painkillers of course, but you get what i mean. with honey lemon tea this time, i was all set on the reading chair, blocking all noise out with

Snow Patrol's "Open Your Eyes"

right this moment, i am at page 253 but i wont be a spoiler cause i hate them! haha.

my thoughts so far though are that i am loving the fact that this one is much of a gloomier and sullen tone compared to Twilight.

i dont know, i guess it's cause my world has been pretty grey so far so while i was stuck in the chair all afternoon, everything fits like a puzzle somehow.

from the tea to the quietness (after i moved a chair out to the balcony) to the Romeo and Juliet quote at the front page to pages 85 to 92 to Bella's descriptions of her feelings for Jacob to Fork's clouds to everything else; i was purely captivated. it was the right read for my current state of mind - rid of all the kismet and lovey-dovey of the the first book.

"So much had changed, and so abruptly. It made me feel a little bit dizzy, like I was standing on an edge, a precipice somewhere much too high." - Bella, New Moon. or me?

HELL-O-WEEN.

2008-11-01T00:47:00.012+08:00

okay, i am home swatting flies, with cookies and milk (thank god). but nevertheless, Happy Halloween. not that it's that much of a practise here. (i just wanted to prove i can spell it.)

i havent got much to say since it's all boredom and i didnt think much, but i have been noticing some funny rants with regards to the upcoming A's. people start having weird newfound aspirations. there's the toilet attendant, security guard, roti prata man, couch potato, house-husband - to name a few. i get pretty entertained seeing all of them on msn nicknames, blogs and fb etc.

no, i am not showing off that i can space out for all i care cause A's are not in my life, you touchy things. wish you all, (i suppose a comma is appropriate here.) all the best for the papers in two days aight?

oh yah, the restart of the five-days-not-talking-to-men thing is going pretty well due to the weekends and when i went to the stores, the cashier was also a woman. i did talk to a cab uncle though cause i havent got a boyfriend (whom i shouldnt talk to too - if i have one and he has to drive me to the stores - right?) to drive me and i dont dare to drive my mum's car. loserrrr.

well, i restarted because it was all broken yesterday just cause. and maybe (just maybe) i might decide that i have tormented myself enough in repent of the sins and unhappiness i have caused. no, not really. it's not so much of a torture. i feel like a smug for not replying texts and ims. sick enjoyment.

so, my mother bought a new wok today and i cant believe i was so excited and reading the manuals and instruction books that came with like some obasan/auntie/housewife whose husband has bestowed her with his feeble attention in the form of a kitchen utensil that is deem to further doom her in the confinements of the oily kitchen foreverrrrr.

sometimes women are so gullible, being constantly toyed/manipulated/cheated by men. and the only few who gets back at those dickheads to fight for justice on behalf on the entire female race has to be labelled as "sluts". geez. unfair. (yup i am psycho-ing myself to dislike men.)

this has been so random cause i think i am alittle sugar high with all the cookies. and of course due to the pilling of work and i feel so nervous/stressed cause there's this presentation AND skit on monday and i havent got my script done nor lines memorised. ugh.

Happy November too, by the way.

did you know Issey is a guy's name? i think it's pretty rad to be named Issey. (just not some acted ah bengs please. has to have class.)

ME GETTING TO KNOW ME.

2008-10-29T22:27:00.004+08:00

it's time like this that i try to find myself again and stand my ground.

oh yah, i am on this thing to not talk to guys for five days. just cause. that includes texts, msn and even real life. (i guess ordering lunch from the uncle doesnt count. and of course, my classmates.)

Your view on yourself:
You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education:
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Here is the analysis:

You've got great self-confidence and you're full of charm. Most guys who get to know you will be attracted to you. You are far from sweet and proper; your intriguing personality fascinates them. Most guys find it easy to fall for a girl like you.

You really care about other people's feelings and are quite serious about the issues that affect your life. You are sincere, and your concern for the well-being of others makes many people want to be your friend.

You are a bright, cheerful and bubbly person. You are thoughtful and considerate, and like to have fun. Everybody feels comfortable around you because of your pleasant nature. When you walk into a room, people's eyes are likely to be drawn to you because of your charm.

Your peers think of you as a fun person, but sometimes you can be a little irresponsible. You can be somewhat childish, and can try to ignore the fact that you will one day need to really grow up and be a mature adult! Perhaps you could start reading good books; they might help you look at the world in a different light. You do want to be taken seriously, right?

Your boyfriend believes that you are a strong and independent person. Your confidence and cheerfulness make you an attractive person to be around, but sometimes you need to pay more attention to what other people, including your boyfriend, are thinking.

Here is the Love Personality analysis:

You desire a love that will last forever. You are quite serious about finding this type of love, and that's why you think carefully about the men that you meet before deciding whether you could really love them. You don't just develop a crush on someone overnight: you look at a person's personality and other aspects of their life before deciding to form an attachment. If a guy doesn't meet your expectations, you would rather be alone. Your love has to be perfect. Be careful though, you could be missing out on some worthy relationships because your standards are so high.

well, it seems like i have to find something new to be my interest hereafter. life is full of amusing details eh?

"DO I DAZZLE YOU?"

2008-10-27T00:47:00.007+08:00

hello everybody. despite all boundaries (such as the constant nagging of my mother to do chores; she even made a talk with us today ugh.), i finished all 498 pages of Twilight in just a cup of honey lemon tea cause i was too caught up. and God, do i LOVE vampires now.

i have to admit i doubt i have savoured and digested every single word of it. but i promised myself i will get round to it after my adrenaline settles or i get my hands on New Moon. or finish the entire saga. this saga is a keeper, i tell you.

jesus, i cant even name my favourite part of the book. cause it was a mixture of humour and deep emotions. every conversation (every word of the book, in fact) between Bella and Edward was so cleverly crafted and it oozes that whole magical love that didnt seem quite as cheesy as some of the love novels i have read. it was so.. convincingly wonderful. it made me want to go get myself an Edward.

Bella: "I love you."
Edward: "You are my life now."

wow like hello! melting fast!

okay, i doubt i am in the right state of mind to do this book review cause it seems that all i am doing is gush about vampires and how i love them. they are not in my fantasies but i do agree to the theory of them being euphoric and seductive sexually.

just go read the damn book. and comment if you want or gush with me. now i just cant wait for the movie. (which i am definitely keeping a dvd of.)

ON ALITTLE ABOUT TODAY AND A SONG I CAN RELATE TO.

2008-10-25T23:07:00.006+08:00

"If I Were A Boy" - Beyonce

it stroke a chord somewhere. (not that my ex boyfriends treated me bad.)
i just felt like crying when it went on repeat and i digested the lyrics.
i think the truth applies, no matter how perfect that guy is.

today was the Bobby-declared Tyng's day at Sentosa and Vivo; Underwater World and Pet Safari yo! haha. i had FUN (see. in caps.) and thanks so much for the Bobby's Bag of Surprise.

super tired now. need to go sleep. next post will be pictures and details.

p.s. Bobby is not a real name.

ON WANTING TO BE GORGEOUS, THIN AND INCREDIBLY RICH - PRELUDE.

2008-10-23T21:57:00.007+08:00

hello. i am afraid i might not do the wonderful title justice as i am pretty much stuck with being really tired and having tons of tutorials to complete, so i am making this entry a prelude. and maybe finish writing the other parts (if there are any) some other leisure time.

first thing first, peis and i got tagged by this seemingly flattering sticker, during chats with fries and sandwich.

it says "Fine $2000 for being gorgeous".

after being tagged, we were joking around about seeing if they tagged other weird people. it doesnt seem so, so yay? yah la, vain pots la.

i guess it was just the advertising efforts of the 'Hey Gorgeous'. nevertheless, it was a pretty good ending to our sucky, boring and sleep-inducing day.

furthermore, the girl was telling me to go the website and nominate myself and my friends. i was pretty much convinced that she thought that i was indeed gorgeous. muahaha.

oh yah, before she tagged me, i already spotted her looking and i thought she was going to sell me mentos cause she was holding some box with the mentos label. and there i go making up excuses to not buy from her as i wasnt craving mentos. just to say how self perceptions are usually bad.

while we're on the topic, read this :

http://health.msn.com/weight-loss/slideshow.aspx?cp-documentid=100218116&imageindex=1

and then, my conversation with Uncle :

Luiz Felipe Scolari reminded Stamford Bridge that football’s first principle is to win, not to entertain. says:
lol

Luiz Felipe Scolari reminded Stamford Bridge that football’s first principle is to win, not to entertain. says:
i done most of it

tyng; says:
-.-

Luiz Felipe Scolari reminded Stamford Bridge that football’s first principle is to win, not to entertain. says:
fidget

tyng; says:
dont destroy my belief of the article

Luiz Felipe Scolari reminded Stamford Bridge that football’s first principle is to win, not to entertain. says:
eat breakfast

tyng; says:
HAHAH

Luiz Felipe Scolari reminded Stamford Bridge that football’s first principle is to win, not to entertain. says:
oioii

Luiz Felipe Scolari reminded Stamford Bridge that football’s first principle is to win, not to entertain. says:
u want to die ar

Luiz Felipe Scolari reminded Stamford Bridge that football’s first principle is to win, not to entertain. says:
lol

tyng; says:
hehe

just hilarious.

oh well, i got b.law and this other tutorial to finish up before i head to bed. i havent been sleeping enough cause i take too much naps in the day, and when i get to bed at night, i cant fall asleep until two a.m. -.- vicious cycle.

erhm, this might just be a post to talk about the whole tagging thing..

CLEAN.

2008-10-22T18:24:00.013+08:00

hello. i'd appreciate having wednesdays off more if my mum stops nagging at me to "get up" or "make lunch" or "shower" or "dont laze around". as if anybody can really sleep when the phone downstairs rings off the hook, interrupting all the prelude leading to the best part of a dream.

she doesnt get why i am so tired all the time. well, i cant tell her that i am a creature of the dark, cause that would be indirectly hinting that i have an intention to become a whore. (to mothers, or rather just mine, night life = whores.)

so be it. i am not gonna argue much since i need to think of ways to sneak sleep in the day. but she did mention to break free from her nags, i would have to :

be married
be financially independent
move out

i think that's pretty much it.

oh well, i am just here to declare that school's a bitch (yet again). but i am still alive and very sleepy.

p.s. i am one episode from finishing Season 2 of Secret Diary of a Call Girl. but then i cant get past episode 3 of Skins. it's sad.

p.p.s i am thinking of moving to Tumblr cause it seems cool and the Tumblelogs give off a new vibe. but then i read the Helps and it seems like there's a limit of one photo per post. i was just thinking that it might be a problem when i get my DSLR you know. hah. and besides, i dont want to sign up for a Flickr or whatnot. it's irritating to remember the passwords and even log in names.

random thought:
tyng might just choose a Camera over a Chanel 2.55. (cue to gasp).
it's on the list. click-able link!

ONE WHOLE WEEK.

2008-10-18T17:23:00.004+08:00

hello. and no, i didnt just wake up. it has been i dont know, four whole hours since?

anyways, school has been a bitch for the past five days and i am expecting more to come. nothing exciting, just some random lectures and tutorials. which reminds me i have got homework. how amateur.

waking up with not enough snooze, i havent been making an effort to dress up. yesterday, i wore a yellow polo and brown skirt with havaianas and a hairband. i didnt even do a full makeup, just some random sunscreen and eye color. what got me really amused was when i went with my brother to make some new glasses, the lady at the shop praised the way i did my eye. i mean, really. it was just some gold base with brown liner and mascara. it's understated. okay, i am rambling.

moving on, i got pictures! just 4 silly ones.

some hot guess model.

thurs.

i got to school at eight for a nine o' lecture. what waste of my time.

so i spent time in the quiet toilet to avoid looking so lonely. and when i looked into the mirror, i thought that i looked unbelievably chubby. so i took a picture.

i could not believe it! i have a somewhat fat face!

for reconfirmation, i took another.

look at those cheeks when i smile!

i am fat now.

SO OBSESSED WITH.

2008-10-16T23:33:00.004+08:00

hello everybody. i did a detailed evaluation about myself just now and have concluded that i am an idiot whose nerves never fails to get the better of everything. when met with a certain situation, emotions are always easily displayed and all wit or cunning schemes gets thrown out of the window.

today was pretty much bonding day with the clique. i love talks talks talks.

some photos next time. i think my face is fat now. tsk.

you know how people say that there is one for everybody?
but, what if The One for you is not who you want?

FAINTS.

2008-10-13T21:26:00.007+08:00

hello. i hate school.

it's not just the lack of potential eye candies or the unfamiliar faces that are just released from tep eating in the canteen, there's also the long early days and the boring mind-boggling modules. not to forget the seemingly lack of socialising opportunities, and of course, there's the whole issue of my heart being taken away to a foreign country by some foreign man (this sentence sounds good.).

i am expecting some real classic hair-jerking moments with Business Finance in the future cause it's only the first day of school and i am trying very hard not to scream at the tutorial questions that needs to be done by tomorrow.

i am just trying to calm myself down with all the pretty things that i own. need more lovely things in the closet to keep me hyped up yo!

love my trinklets and duh, the pants and my vintage man-vest.

love confessions pretty much drive me far far away now.

i guess it's a love fast.

DARK BLUE

2008-10-12T21:44:00.005+08:00

tyng's having sudden pangs of pre-school slash Monday blues. it's not just a shade of baby like the sunny sky, it's more of mid night sapphire. a certain high degree of saturation, if you know what i am saying.

so, it's early bedtime for her. just in case she cant wake up on time for a shower and the whole prep rally (which reassures and stabilises her raging nerves. yah totally.) that follows suit.

then again,

Twilight

hot guys always brighten up tyng's day haha.

UGH. (vous avez un visage hideux, aller au diable.)

2008-10-07T01:10:00.000+08:00

timetable is NOT good this semester. i have unbelievably long days which start from eight to six. basically, i start in the Mornings across the board. and i have Wednesdays FREE. hell, i'd rather attend five short days than four long days. what am i suppose to do with a free day!

tsk. i foresee sloppy outfits and dull expressions. to think i was so motivated to dress up ever since i started using the L'oreal foundation cause it gives me unbelievable nice skin. we all know how much i love sleep and sacrificing it to look good for school is like ugh. major dilemma and i hate to make choices. maybe i'll just walk around with shades and a hoodie. oh i am grumbling, all that i say do not make good sense now.

anyways, hear this out.

The Boy I Left Behind - Theoretical Girl

such a pretty sound. quirky quirky lyrics.

i have a new mystery - involving a certain anonymous with impeccable english and fancy for poetry, adding me on msn - to solve. they always say curiosity kills the cat. well, let's just say, i am one lucky kitty not dead yet. heh.

i leave you with a poem, darlings. pretty awesome one; i think i remember it from O's. or somewhat.

Blackberry-picking

Late August, given heavy rain and sun
For a full week, the blackberries would ripen.
At first, just one, a glossy purple clot
Among others, red, green, hard as a knot.
You ate that first one and its flesh was sweet
Like thickened wine: summer's blood was in it
Leaving stains upon the tongue and lust for
Picking. Then red ones inked up and that hunger
Sent us out with milk cans, pea tins, jam-pots
Where briars scratched and wet grass bleached our boots.
Round hayfields, cornfields and potato-drills
We trekked and picked until the cans were full,
Until the tinkling bottom had been covered
With green ones, and on top big dark blobs burned
Like a plate of eyes. Our hands were peppered
With thorn pricks, our palms sticky as Bluebeard's.

We hoarded the fresh berries in the byre.
But when the bath was filled we found a fur,
A rat-grey fungus, glutting on our cache.
The juice was stinking too. Once off the bush
The fruit fermented, the sweet flesh would turn sour.
I always felt like crying. It wasn't fair
That all the lovely canfuls smelt of rot.
Each year I hoped they'd keep, knew they would not.

Seamus Heaney

ARE ELVES TAKING MY THINGS?

2008-10-06T01:06:00.004+08:00

i spent the whole day looking for this compilation disc that TING burnt for me when we were in sec two. i remember that she burnt two : one purple, another blue. i couldnt find the blue one when i just wanted to get my hand on it, in a spur of the moment. i cant even remember what songs are in it, but I KNOW I WANT IT. PERIOD! (see gimme-please list.)

i hate it when i want something at the spur of the moment, it usually hints that something is wrong.

oh my we all know how much i hate losing things. and now it's something this sentimental! i just want to wrench somebody's head off his/her head!

GRR!

IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME, BEEN SO LONG I GOTTA SHINE MY RUSTY HALO.

2008-10-04T04:05:00.005+08:00

On Repeat :

The Man Who Can't Be Moved - The Script
Last Train Home - Ryan Star
It's Only Life - Kate Voegele

hello. 4 am saw me ~~wishing~~ (pfft) washing the dishes that no Cinderella is kind enough to do after mummy's chicken butter rice dinner. why do all yummy food turns yicky when it's time to wash those plates up. i want a dishwasher. it's on my gimme-please list at the right panel now.

while i was scrubbing the pots, it came to my mind that maybe one day, i might actually really grow up and no longer be allowed to put bows in my hair or crave for sweets, ask others for gifts or grumble about things like the spoiled brat that i am deep down inside, demand that someone stays with me and watch me sleep or have a display of stuffed toys in my room. and then, i have to put up with other people's nonsense just for a salary or do housework and dedicate myself to a stranger whom i am bounded to by the Law (okay, and maybe the eventual exchange of body fluids.).

this thought has always been debating in me and somehow it never fails to scare the living shit out of me. i know the whole Undeniable factor but i shudder. as stubborn as i am right now, i know Society will conform me into a /quote victim of the times /unquote. because as much as i Love to live like a Hippie and live My Life My Way without really stepping on anybody's tail, i know i cannot take the Loneliness of being an outcast. then again, the Hippies never really Did It Their Way either right.

this funny Dilemma always ends with a Sigh and Forced Push to the Back of my Head. and whenever i talk about it, i end up getting all helpless-agitated and but caps letters at random emphasis words. it's like how i want to be a ballerina but i havent learnt a dance step in five years now; or how i want to be good at art but i just am not. there's too much Unability in this world that all we can do is Keep Pushing (the wild thoughts to the back of your mind, that is.).

maybe ten years down the road i will look back on today's post and laugh a Poignant chuckle and the Inner Hippie Tyng hurls at the Grown Up Tyng. or not.

aiya. so emo-nemo. must be the Choya overdose and wonked up hormones that come with the screwed body clock. to bed!

FRESH POPCORN; JADED EMOTIONS

2008-10-01T23:36:00.005+08:00

hello. i love the title i made up. and the popcorn's not random, i am still eating the popcorn from Mamma Mia earlier. loved the movieee!

oh yah, i have been looking like the little girl in the picture for a long time now. stiff bored. twelve days till school! whoopee!

anyhows. i thought i ought to mention, i think the exchange rate has made Topshop unreasonably pricey locally. like hell i would pay 159 for a pair of flimsy viscose shorts, even though i thought they were REALLLY cute and i can think of a million ways to pair them up with. and the belt! 93! for plastic buckles. yes, it was red and awesome and glittery. but it's almost the price of a decent MNG wallet!

i am getting so cheapo lately. i think it's the whole I CAN NEVER GET A CHANEL 2.55 BEFORE TWENTY issue. it's getting me down, i feel inferior, i feel left-out like seriously. yes i am a brandwhore, yes i am vain, yes i am a (potential) gold-digger, yes i have a problem. now, will you get it for me already? i dont mind if i have to go five years without another birthday present. okay, make it six.

this is madness. i think i need to go sleep and get ready to be serious for the field trip tomorrow! finally some business to get down to. (i know, not really.)

what shall i wear.. (since i havent been interested in the clothes that arent as pricey, my wardrobe is seriously downsizing. boo.)

p.s. If anybody would like to donate to the 'Save Tyng' fund, please contact Tyng personally. You are a lifesaver and will forever be remembered as 'The Loveliest'. Thank you so very much. Y!

happy October everybody! Selamat Hari Raya, muslim friends!

I WANT TO GO BACK,

2008-09-28T13:53:00.003+08:00

NOW!

yup. i woke up today, and decided that hols are just lousy and i want school. i just wish sem two will start already so that I wont have to rush for project deadlines like last year. oh the horrid days of having to study for exams whilst finishing projects. (THE PRESSURE IS FUCK)

so neeways, while the damned sun is shining up so bright and it so happens that there is no wind, i am cooping myself up in the comfort and solitude of my surprisingly shady home and duh, the aircon-love. i wont sell my home for any mansion because the sun doesnt get in directly and you wont have to on the aircons in the living room, you just sit there and instant cool. well, unless the mansion is also positioned likewise. heh.

oh mum just said we're going cosmetic shopping. yes, i need new mascara and foundation. but the sun! my hair goes all greasy after one day, my skin turns oily, and i am forced to show my arms and legs. but of course, one good thing is that i get to wear my shades without looking pompous.

i think the above texts are just plain random. did you know i saw a shooting star at chalet? so did garene and ben, we wished..

and i wished for YOU.

BLUR SOTONG LOVE KIDS.

2008-09-22T21:24:00.007+08:00

hello everybodyyyy. i am a blur sotong who doesnt like the internet and thus, miscommunication slash communication breakdown occurs. i missed the first day of class chalet. it was today. and i thought tuesday was the first. oh mama.

anyways. with me spending time with kids, there isnt much evil that i can be up to. well, except eating up their sweets. muahaha.

neeways, meet my newfound pet. EMILY. she's awesome cute, and her baby sister is just the bomb too.

i think she looks like snow white. fair skin and red lips, with long lashes to boot woot!

i look uglyyy.

this boy's cute too.

hah. the teachers say they are a good match.

oh i am done. need to go pack now. i need some time with people my age, desperately.

ON LOVE (AND OTHER STUPID THINGS TRIGGERED BY MANGA-READING)

2008-09-17T00:20:00.003+08:00

hello. it's another sleepless night, due to the whole vicious afternoon nap cycle. i hate adjusting my biological clock to proper night and day, but having to wake at seven upon sleeping only at four is giving me crappy skin and it doesnt even seem like i am having holidays. funny. i am turning nocturnal, but somehow, it feels goood to. just skip the crappy skin please.

lately, i have been hooked on fantasy mediums such as mangas, animes and drama serials. yet again. so i think i just want to say, imagine if you ask your boyfriend what he wants for christmas. and he says he has already received it, a (insert your name here). wow. awesomely cliche-ish sweet eh?

fantasies. they suck your interest and enthusiasm in everything else. eventually, you become a grumble, dissatisfied with reality and life. muahaha. indulge please.

oh wells. now that i am spending all my free time with children and fantasies, i am turning blunt as ever, total release and display of inner emotions twenty-four/seven. i told a shopkeeper his hair looks really oily when i went to buy sweets just now. no worries, i manage to come out alive, surviving his bad glares.

oh yah, the kids are getting cuter each day. photos tomorrow! i am dolling myself up since mummy wants to hit the stores after that.

isnt this guy just yummy?

"shopping cha cha cha, mama!"

QUICKIE - RESULTS.

2008-09-16T01:28:00.006+08:00

havent been blogging cause i have been crazily detached from the internet. it's all the telly and mum's kindergarten.

neeways, results were alrighty! haha. i am relieved i managed to scrape through yet again, with a D for fma, A for retail and guess what? Distinction for HRL! the rest were a distribution of Bs and B+s. so i guess i did alright?

now i just regret being all slacked for year one. my gpa still needs some pulling up!

well. i am not greedy. a safe pass to year two is consolation enough! haha. arent i just a tad too easy-going.

<3!

NOT AS ___.

2008-09-02T16:09:00.002+08:00

helllo. holidays make me want to just go back to being drowned by deadlines and work. sometimes.

i am sick again, this nasty ol' cold. i cant sleep, eat or watch the telly properly cause my coughing ruins everything. like this one time, i couldnt hear what the lines the actor was saying cause i coughed continuously for 20 seconds.

grr. and i havent found a job yet after the whole mooncake scam. though i have chosen a store, as my mummy instructed, i still havent gotten my ass down to enquire about it. oh so many boring things to do.

geez. i am losing interest faster than ever.

TO INK OR NOT TO INK?

2008-08-26T23:43:00.011+08:00

hello! i am at my fourth packet milo; woow! neeways, got really bored (AGAIN) just now and started planning some wacky things to do to myself upon "maturation and free from governing" by (ahem) my mummy.

since my "Tongue Piercing" Proposal has not been given the absolute green light by her, i looked to the other alternative (she's surprisingly pretty supportive of this one.).

i have striked out numbers, skulls (though i truly believe i am part Gothic inside.), and of course, dragons, tigers, wolves, snakes, birds, bear, dogs, pigs - basically ALL animals please. and no, i do not want flowers or butterflies.

[i am starting to ask myself what the hell am i doing bothering my head with such an important decision! i take hours deciding what to wear. to think i am over-estimating myself to choose something i will have with me permanently. what if i regret! but let's just carry on. heh]

so, i was googling and went to DeviantArt too, there are some cool ones i found.

i'd dig a guy with this one!

so illuminati! reminds me of Dan Brown's books!

hah! secret witch?

i know! pretty colors!
this one, i might get. better than the conventional wings.

so. i think it's only sensible to get something that means something to me, or that i really like right? i am tempted by Wings and also, a graphic of a Diamond.

there's this blogger (nee nee reads her blog.) who has got one, and i think her friend got the same one too. well, i wont put hers up here cause it's not right to steal her photo and post it here.

but it looks smth like the picture below, WITHOUT the colors and more black lines. basically it's like a structured, architecture sketch of a diamond. i think people call it 3D?

so basically i want my Diamond to be like the square in the middle, with all the lines seen and no color.

and i would have it mid back? somewhere alittle higher than the bra clasp area cause i want to be able to conceal it better if i ever get to work in a formal surrounding.

i am tempted to get it at the lower back so it can be seen if i wear low rise jeans, but muahaha i have muffin top plus love handles so, noo wayyy.

there are just so many sexy parts to get, like the hips and abs, but muahaha again, i havent got a perfectly skinny tummy area and i dont really plan to exercise like hell and get the abs and then spend moolah to buy pain and a tat, so no wayyy.

wow. i am all hyped up! but are the local tat shops any skillfull? i mean i watch Miami and LA Ink and the tats they do are WOOOOW. maybe i can get it when i go to Orlando (and if i go duh.)? hahaha.

oh but i am sure i cannot wait. should i ink, should i?! ahhhhh! okayyy. going to choose my clothes for tomorrow! LADIES NIGHT PHUTURE! meet me there!

SO..

2008-08-25T23:38:00.004+08:00

i have been thinking, (oh-o? maybe.) maybe it is because i am not special enough that it seems as though my life is just well, too average.

there's this departure between my expected life and my actual life, thus there's no satisfaction achieved.

formula: actual life - expected life = negative = NO satisfaction.

something like that.

it's not that i am ungrateful or anything. but it's really really the fact. i have been thinking, i guess it's that i havent got this one thing i am so hung on to. like for some, there's their drawings, sketching whatever. and some, there's gaming although i have to admit that's one hell of a bad example alternative. and some there's clubbing. some, there's baking, cooking, sports, intellectual things such as chess, work..

the list goes super on, but none's my thang. like i am bad at drawing. gaming - yah sure. no way my mum will let me enter the clubbing scene. okay, i have to say baking and cooking's what i do sometimes, but i dont get all into it. i am not a sporty girl, nor am i really intellectual though i love reading. and nah, i am not such a competitive and driven woman who aims to be frantically ahead in my career.

okay, the above is somewhat of an illustration. i just like to blab when i am here. so ignore and whatnots. i am going to find My Thing. oh, i am so envious of this one person who i guess you can say i kind of stalk online. i truely believe He is an Awesome person. oh, it's not like that you dirty people. he isnt even straight. oh, all the more reason why he's Awesome and i am not.

they say homosexuals tend to be more inclined in other areas. and i believe that i know wayy to many boring heterosexuals. one living example, moi.

neeways,
i think my outfit looked totally cute and innovatively daring on the last-paper-slash-Sakura-buffet day. heeh.

yah, yah. self-praise is no praise.

i am going to be brave and watch some Thai horror! ugh.

SOLITARY

2008-08-25T01:34:00.007+08:00

i know, forget my earlier declaration about leaving the space. i somehow wandered back along trying to spend the night away cause i cant sleep for theres no way i can wake my brothers up at five-thirty for school. why am i reduced to a maid.

funny cause i was watching this reality show "Solitary" and man, i think i wouldnt last ever, being kept in a tiny pod with just a computerised talking hexagon as the only companion. and there's all this gruesome challenges, i would rather take "Fear Factor".

and i am really sick of Tila Tequila's fake boobs and there's all this lousy quality videos i have been entertaining myself with. howhowhows.

i wanna go sell some mooncakes and earn money now. to think i will miss the premiere of "Camp Rock" on Disney and there's all the other shows that led up to it. grr. now maybe i can find it on youtube. oh i am so bored!

oh i am blabbering. how i wish i have long vintage puffy locks that cover my boobies. oh oh oh.

edited after like two hours..

"Camp Rock" beats Troy Bolton's Gayish Performances in the "High School Musical" series hands (and any other body part) down! oh Joe Jonas is SO HOT!

reminds me of "Raise Your Voice".

i love love love the opening sequence! never mind there's Hilary Duff hahaha.

it was __ the last time i checked.

2008-08-24T01:13:00.004+08:00

yup. finally. the horrible exam period is OVER and though i am relieved and cant wait to have fun, there's still this constant nagging worry that i might need to retake fma mod and not get my chance to go to orlando (worst to top it off, my mummy actually says she has got me the moolah. i think i would die if i really dont make it. really die.).

MOST interesting thing of my life for the past week: Law's Creativity. yup, that fma paper was one darn of a shocker, all right. i have never seen accounts questions like those ever. if i do pass, i might buy her a big hamper with all those nitty gritty expensive canned seafood and red wine. if i pass, she might magically turn prettier. if i pass, i will thank God for loving me so much.

and also Sakura buffet. yum yum.

but how how how if i fail the mod! like seriously, i cant wait for 16th! i am constantly pulling my hair and banging the walls, screaming. i need some answers! i need some assurance. man i feel so.. un-grounded. i need a man?

oh geeez, i dont know. i am too overwhelmed and i think i lost the whole blogging vibe after being on hiatus suddenly for like so long. well, check back with me after. right now, i got tons of streaming and shows to watch. afterall, my life's too mudane so it's off to watching others' or some made-up ones. woots!

IF I HAD ALL THE MONEY IN THE WORLD, I WOULD, WELL, BUY THE WORLD.

2008-08-08T21:20:00.004+08:00

oh hello. my mummy's back from bangkok and let's give her a 'boo' cause the retail end-products are just alittle more of what seems to be a couple of tops and dresses. no bags and shoes. whatever happened!

i think i am absolutely stressed. i walked into the mall, deciding to get a notebook and then head down to Starbucks to do some FMA papers. i got a Sleeping Beauty (hahhaa funny.) notebook alright, but ended up spending the next hour walking around and got myself something i always wanted: a leather wrist cuff. i found the seemingly perfect one cause even though it hangs loosely still, it doesnt look as clumsy. i almost got a studded belt, but had to wait cause the person will bring it from another branch which was upstairs. i took that as a sign, and ran away before my cash all run out.

i asked about the tongue piercing again and the hot guy told me some stuff about it. but i was crazily distracted by his blue contact lenses (and chiseled features duh) and when he told me he'll give me a discount, i nearly gave in. of course, the lack of $$ stopped me.

why am i blabbering why why why. hahaha. okay i got to go watch this thai gay movie. hhaha please, two sets of naked bronze six-packs awaiting! why not! seriously, there are tons of gay movies under the 'B' section at crunchyroll.

funny thing how 'supposed' ah bengs (i cant really brand them right, but they seem to be a cross of malaysian skater punks wannabe and ah bengs. super mixed up yo!) are attracted to me. i was browsing at one of the shops which sell babymilo and NY hats and bearbricks top and the salesmen there are like flirting with me. i know they are flirting and not just wanting me to get things cause they asked me out to club tonight and wanted my number. no, i didnt say yes. they werent hot. hahaha yes superficial.

p.s. the real reason why i didnt go to Starbucks was because it was filled with tons of stupid idiotic tourists and i saw a group of ah bengs who disrupted my peace the other time i was supposedly planning to study alone.

p.p.s. i was amused at how nee nee thought that today is a special day cause of the 080808. well. it might be but i didnt see swan so i guess it didnt do well for me.

"SHE HAD EYES LIKE CRAZY DIAMONDS"

2008-08-07T22:20:00.010+08:00

"women need a reason to cheat; men just need a women."

wait, it gets better,

"women need a reason to have sex, men just need a space."

hahaha. seriously, how true is that? no offence boys, i love you ~~hot ones~~ all still. but think about it, how come in case of adultery, the women generally leave their "old" men for the new guy they have an affair with, while the men have a higher probabilty of deciding to stay with their "old" flame?

tyng's theory: men were just having fun. while the girls, have almost forsaken the original relationship all together. all we can say is men got distracted along the way; women lost hope and moved on.

does this sound biased? whatever, i still think comparatively, we are still the more loyal party. haha.

anyways. i totally bought my dress! so i am having bras issue. i do not want to go bra-less in public. so i googled for some options:

this is like not that bad. but it's sold in the US and seriously, shipping a bra in? sounds retarded. especially when i cannot try it. what if it doesnt fit? waste the dough.

VS! man, i spent an hour drooling over the models. so sexy! so hot!

there're options of nipple pad which is going braless;

nubra which has high potential of falling;

and my bikini from secondary two. hahaha. i was trying to make it work, but the way i wanted it to be was alittle too complex for my left hand to handle. how i wish my left hand works like my right!

so, i need advice from my mother when she gets back from bangkok. or should i go down to a professional bra shop and ask them all these mind-boggling questions. torture them with my expectations. like seriously, i doubt they can provide me with enlightenment. it's not like we have Victoria's Secret or Agent Provocateur here. oh sure, like i have time to travel to KL!

oh fuck french role play today was nothing, but the test was ugh. the weird woman blabbered and i was fretting cause i had one last play left and i couldnt comprehend what she was saying! all gibberish! all gibberish! ah what weight ah what height ah what address! listening comprehension equals death.

oh double fuck. i had the wiki (no i shant explain what this is) page opened from eight oh-clock till now and i havent typed a single word! oh noes! and there's the quizzzzz. geezzz. whizz. hahaha. so funny, rhyming words.

- click. and all's dead -

WE LIVE LIKE BUMBLEBEES!

2008-08-05T19:11:00.007+08:00

hello! it has been too too long. even though all the readers have left this new-found red space, it's still my diary aight. grr mummy just called to ask if i wanna go for mani-pedi with her. guess what? i just did my own nails like an hour ago. not meant to be!

okay, so the metals are out. and i still feel weird seeing my teeth whole. i think i looked wayy better with braces,

so i tried to practise smiling with my teeth. even though i dont usually smile with my teeth, it's more of a grin then cresent eyes. but we shouldnt waste the damn effort of getting straight teeth, non?

a series of unfortunate tries..

eww eww ewww! i am sticking to this,

for ever.

okay, i got my eyes set on this super cheap MNG dress from clearance sales. too bad there's no XS but i am still bagging the S. cause it's fucking sexyyy.

one problem though, since the back is so exquisite, it looks better without a bra. but i feel weird without a bra. HOW? do they have bras with like transparent plastic back (like those straps)? or how! i tried it with a bra, and it just totally turns all complicated and the design loses its, well design.

so troublesomeeee!

busy life busy life! cant wait to have fun! after those darn papers! there's no sup this year! one chance to pass! man, i am so nervous.

HELLO

2008-07-29T00:58:00.006+08:00

i cant seem to sleep even though i am drained beyond.

life has been terrible lately, due to the overwhelming heaps of deadlines and stress and panic-attacks. three due-dates to make in one week is like ___ cause it's all beyond words.
this is not good, cause my mind is making up really, really tempting and creative ways to destress. think blanking out in midst of typing a report due the next day.

anyways, i got the metals out. but i am not as happy as i thought i will be roughly a year ago cause. i look weird with teeth that i think are too big now.

oh i kind of ran out of things to say. sidetracking from editing of retail powerpoint. but presentations are cancelled and postponed. so why am i still stressing.

p.s. 28 july '08 was a lucky day cause i saw swan thrice!

p.p.s. love, you made my day by initiating to pay for air tickets for me to fly over cause well, muahaha i am too desirable to not miss. i miss you too, and i will get mummy's permission. i need a break with you. faraway from all these.

NEED LOVE. AND TONS OF IT.

2008-07-25T00:24:00.004+08:00

i am very dissatisfied with myself. (and of course, the konked up malaysia internet but what's the point anymore. fucktard.)

i finished the conclusion and i was trying to get online but NO. my msn has to be like cinderella, just that it can only be signed in after twelve. so i signed in and signed in and the time was awasting and peis must be waiting for my part cause i told her i will send it to her. so it was like twelve plus when i finally can get into hotmail and msn alike. she left me an offline i.m.; she was waiting for me, but has gone to bed. I AM SO GUILTYYYYYY. I MAADE HER WAIT FOR ONE PART OF THE ENTIRE PROJECT!

I AM SO SORRY, LOVE.

i am still sane. but currently, i want to burn all my lecture notes and crash my lappie and just lock myself in a movie archive and watch all the movies ever made in all parts of the world.

i cannot do anymore marketing or projects. i cannot use my brain. i cannot go to sleep worrying about unfinished bits of my workload. i cannot keep remembering french assignment and role play. i cannot tense up whenever i think about exams which led to that unprepared feeling. i cannot get panic attacks whenever i cant do my part well in school cause apparently, i am just so dense. i cannot race against time and deadlines. i cannot be a slave to reality. i cannot watch people have fun, while i only get to drool, green with envy. i cannot get singfest or death cab tickets.

it's depressing. i need love and care and concern and hugs. but you know, i am a void. a black hole. nothing fills me up right now. i can finish the whole tub of durians in the fridge and obviously am stuffed with high-calories substances, but still feel so empty.

why am i so emo.

TOOK MY BREATH AWAY.

2008-07-19T22:19:00.010+08:00

"we never use our hands to hit the children, because hands are to hug and love."

i suppose i had a slightly overwhelming day.

visited my great grandpa in the hospital this morning. he's like a hundred and supposedly, four. he still has a clear and strong mind (in example, he knows which language to use to who. malay for the maid, teochew for my mother and chinese to me.), but his physical body is failing him.

i find it extremely.. mind-boggling that he has to be restricted with the earthly possessions because i know he can even hike Mount Everest with that stubborn and willed state of mind.

it wasnt peaceful in the ward at all. i suppose it would have been if i were alone. but there were tons of relatives showing their thriving emotions, tearing or doing stuff for him, busily on their own part. they remind me of flies or bees or ants, buzzing about. headless.

i looked paler in comparison, but i didnt know what to do. i froze up. like i always do when faced with situations that demand more emotions to be displayed. i am not good with meeting expectations. my brain doesnt register.

and back home, a show about orphans in kenya was showing on the teh-vay. there were cute kids, but i saw the sadness in their eyes. too sensitive? mm hmm. maybe.

suddenly, i was reminded of somebody's text still in my phone. the promise to be there for me. i was tempted to talk, but then some voice in my head told me to stop being such a wimp, and maybe i was being played and fooled around. i took that as a sign, because women have instincts and doubts are usually the facts of the situation.

so i slapped my faced (mentally) and watched Le Fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain (or known plainly as Amelie) without subtitles just to hear the language. somehow, french calms me down (or maybe it was the movie). i guess it was cause i didnt understand it very well, thus it wasnt as thought-provoking.

how i wish Across The Universe was in a foreign language. it would be top-notch whimsical. therapeutic.

then, i fell asleep, with Dear Prudence on repeat, till dinnertime.

guess i was drained.

i think i ought to snap out of it and finish my parts of the projects. if only i am a person who can bury my negative energy in work. i am trying to be, cause staring in blank spaces or napping really waste alot of precious time.

and, i will be starting my one-meal-a-day regime. too fat of a walrus to be true. oh wait, walruses are a mass of distributed fats. while i have a small head, fat tummy with thunder thighs and cankles and flabby arms. boo.

oh bother, bother.

2008-07-17T23:02:00.007+08:00

the internet is downright crap cause i cannot sign into msn and if i did, i just keep disconnecting. also there's somewhat of a water shortage upstairs (has been for the past week.). malaysia is just about one of the lousiest place to live.

seriously, what the fuck. thanks to the net, or lack thereof, i am stuck sitting in front of the fish tank watching those stinky things swim around and kiss each other. i cant get ict notes into my head for the quiz tomorrow.

finally got the courage to watch Pursuit of Happiness.

yup, i cried (and it wasnt just tearing) at the scene when

one) they were sleeping in the toilet and somebody was knocking and chris was hugging his son, crying;

two) little christopher touched chris' chin and told him that he was a "good poppa";

three) chris fixed the weirdo thingy and the light shone across the room; and

four) he got the broker job.

oh wee wow.

and 21 was also wonderful. joe sturgess is HOT. and the part where they had sex against the hotel window. supposedly everybody should try it. i believe it would be extremely cold though, against the glass. hahaha. so horny!

i need to go study and finish up all the projects. so many so many. it's filling my head with disturbia-mania.

oh. did you know someone's taking german? and he peeked through my class' door today. whyyy wasnt he waving to me!!!

roar. grr. umm.

2008-07-16T09:36:00.011+08:00

today is just one of those days i wake up dreading everything, from having to brush my teeth to dragging my ass to school all the wayy in another country. and like i expected, right now sitting in fma class, i tried so, so hard to force my obvious wandering mind to focus on the nagging whatnots. we all know i failed cause i am well, here. (click it, come on.)

though it really does give me a headache and tired eyes after like a whole hour, i still love to stare at the goddamn red layout of my blog. muahaha. i acknowledge all the side effects and complaints that people are telling me, but still. red is edge and i need edge in my life.
calling all clinically unsound people to be my friend now.

i just lost my interest. in the world. but i doubt i can walk out of the class right now, cause Law is a nag and guess what? there's nowhere to go but the loo.

(edited) considering how much i hate to think (about mundane stuff like "What Marketing Mix to recommend - for our own sick pleasure since we wont be feedbacking to the hotel itself - to some lousy ass hotel who is too stingy to hire a better marketing team to devise a more profitable one on their own" ), i have been performing wayy beyond my perceived limits and desires by sticking toothpicks below my eyelids and slapping my head every other second to keep my focus.

i have a serious focal problem. but i doubt there's therapy for it? cause usually wandering minds and eyes are symptoms of drug-taking. and i, dont even smoke.

alas, how i wish to be able to curl in the cold covers and smell the eucalyptus from the aroma infuser, listen to the aircon's purring, watch the light stream in through the tinted windows, all heat evaporated.

add someone special in the picture, and it's all perfect.

oh what do they tell us about perfection? it's non-existence.

currently hooked on : Collette Dinnigan. (click)
thanks to ngjunyou.

need to visit Haji Lane, Victoria Jomo.