TO INK OR NOT TO INK?

hello! i am at my fourth packet milo; woow! neeways, got really bored (AGAIN) just now and started planning some wacky things to do to myself upon "maturation and free from governing" by (ahem) my mummy.

since my "Tongue Piercing" Proposal has not been given the absolute green light by her, i looked to the other alternative (she's surprisingly pretty supportive of this one.).


i have striked out numbers, skulls (though i truly believe i am part Gothic inside.), and of course, dragons, tigers, wolves, snakes, birds, bear, dogs, pigs - basically ALL animals please. and no, i do not want flowers or butterflies.

[i am starting to ask myself what the hell am i doing bothering my head with such an important decision! i take hours deciding what to wear. to think i am over-estimating myself to choose something i will have with me permanently. what if i regret! but let's just carry on. heh]


so, i was googling and went to DeviantArt too, there are some cool ones i found.

i'd dig a guy with this one!

so illuminati! reminds me of Dan Brown's books!

hah! secret witch?

i know! pretty colors!
this one, i might get. better than the conventional wings.

so. i think it's only sensible to get something that means something to me, or that i really like right? i am tempted by Wings and also, a graphic of a Diamond.

there's this blogger (nee nee reads her blog.) who has got one, and i think her friend got the same one too. well, i wont put hers up here cause it's not right to steal her photo and post it here.

but it looks smth like the picture below, WITHOUT the colors and more black lines. basically it's like a structured, architecture sketch of a diamond. i think people call it 3D?

so basically i want my Diamond to be like the square in the middle, with all the lines seen and no color.

and i would have it mid back? somewhere alittle higher than the bra clasp area cause i want to be able to conceal it better if i ever get to work in a formal surrounding.

i am tempted to get it at the lower back so it can be seen if i wear low rise jeans, but muahaha i have muffin top plus love handles so, noo wayyy.

there are just so many sexy parts to get, like the hips and abs, but muahaha again, i havent got a perfectly skinny tummy area and i dont really plan to exercise like hell and get the abs and then spend moolah to buy pain and a tat, so no wayyy.

wow. i am all hyped up! but are the local tat shops any skillfull? i mean i watch Miami and LA Ink and the tats they do are WOOOOW. maybe i can get it when i go to Orlando (and if i go duh.)? hahaha.

oh but i am sure i cannot wait. should i ink, should i?! ahhhhh! okayyy. going to choose my clothes for tomorrow! LADIES NIGHT PHUTURE! meet me there!

SO..

i have been thinking, (oh-o? maybe.) maybe it is because i am not special enough that it seems as though my life is just well, too average.


there's this departure between my expected life and my actual life, thus there's no satisfaction achieved.

formula: actual life - expected life = negative = NO satisfaction.

something like that.

it's not that i am ungrateful or anything. but it's really really the fact. i have been thinking, i guess it's that i havent got this one thing i am so hung on to. like for some, there's their drawings, sketching whatever. and some, there's gaming although i have to admit that's one hell of a bad example alternative. and some there's clubbing. some, there's baking, cooking, sports, intellectual things such as chess, work..

the list goes super on, but none's my thang. like i am bad at drawing. gaming - yah sure. no way my mum will let me enter the clubbing scene. okay, i have to say baking and cooking's what i do sometimes, but i dont get all into it. i am not a sporty girl, nor am i really intellectual though i love reading. and nah, i am not such a competitive and driven woman who aims to be frantically ahead in my career.


okay, the above is somewhat of an illustration. i just like to blab when i am here. so ignore and whatnots. i am going to find My Thing. oh, i am so envious of this one person who i guess you can say i kind of stalk online. i truely believe He is an Awesome person. oh, it's not like that you dirty people. he isnt even straight. oh, all the more reason why he's Awesome and i am not.

they say homosexuals tend to be more inclined in other areas. and i believe that i know wayy to many boring heterosexuals. one living example, moi.



neeways,
i think my outfit looked totally cute and innovatively daring on the last-paper-slash-Sakura-buffet day. heeh.


yah, yah. self-praise is no praise.


i am going to be brave and watch some Thai horror! ugh.

SOLITARY

i know, forget my earlier declaration about leaving the space. i somehow wandered back along trying to spend the night away cause i cant sleep for theres no way i can wake my brothers up at five-thirty for school. why am i reduced to a maid.

funny cause i was watching this reality show "Solitary" and man, i think i wouldnt last ever, being kept in a tiny pod with just a computerised talking hexagon as the only companion. and there's all this gruesome challenges, i would rather take "Fear Factor".

and i am really sick of Tila Tequila's fake boobs and there's all this lousy quality videos i have been entertaining myself with. howhowhows.

i wanna go sell some mooncakes and earn money now. to think i will miss the premiere of "Camp Rock" on Disney and there's all the other shows that led up to it. grr. now maybe i can find it on youtube. oh i am so bored!

oh i am blabbering. how i wish i have long vintage puffy locks that cover my boobies. oh oh oh.

edited after like two hours..

"Camp Rock" beats Troy Bolton's Gayish Performances in the "High School Musical" series hands (and any other body part) down! oh Joe Jonas is SO HOT!

reminds me of "Raise Your Voice".

i love love love the opening sequence! never mind there's Hilary Duff hahaha.

it was __ the last time i checked.

yup. finally. the horrible exam period is OVER and though i am relieved and cant wait to have fun, there's still this constant nagging worry that i might need to retake fma mod and not get my chance to go to orlando (worst to top it off, my mummy actually says she has got me the moolah. i think i would die if i really dont make it. really die.).

MOST interesting thing of my life for the past week: Law's Creativity. yup, that fma paper was one darn of a shocker, all right. i have never seen accounts questions like those ever. if i do pass, i might buy her a big hamper with all those nitty gritty expensive canned seafood and red wine. if i pass, she might magically turn prettier. if i pass, i will thank God for loving me so much.

and also Sakura buffet. yum yum.

but how how how if i fail the mod! like seriously, i cant wait for 16th! i am constantly pulling my hair and banging the walls, screaming. i need some answers! i need some assurance. man i feel so.. un-grounded. i need a man?

oh geeez, i dont know. i am too overwhelmed and i think i lost the whole blogging vibe after being on hiatus suddenly for like so long. well, check back with me after. right now, i got tons of streaming and shows to watch. afterall, my life's too mudane so it's off to watching others' or some made-up ones. woots!

IF I HAD ALL THE MONEY IN THE WORLD, I WOULD, WELL, BUY THE WORLD.

oh hello. my mummy's back from bangkok and let's give her a 'boo' cause the retail end-products are just alittle more of what seems to be a couple of tops and dresses. no bags and shoes. whatever happened!

i think i am absolutely stressed. i walked into the mall, deciding to get a notebook and then head down to Starbucks to do some FMA papers. i got a Sleeping Beauty (hahhaa funny.) notebook alright, but ended up spending the next hour walking around and got myself something i always wanted: a leather wrist cuff. i found the seemingly perfect one cause even though it hangs loosely still, it doesnt look as clumsy. i almost got a studded belt, but had to wait cause the person will bring it from another branch which was upstairs. i took that as a sign, and ran away before my cash all run out.

i asked about the tongue piercing again and the hot guy told me some stuff about it. but i was crazily distracted by his blue contact lenses (and chiseled features duh) and when he told me he'll give me a discount, i nearly gave in. of course, the lack of $$ stopped me.

why am i blabbering why why why. hahaha. okay i got to go watch this thai gay movie. hhaha please, two sets of naked bronze six-packs awaiting! why not! seriously, there are tons of gay movies under the 'B' section at crunchyroll.


funny thing how 'supposed' ah bengs (i cant really brand them right, but they seem to be a cross of malaysian skater punks wannabe and ah bengs. super mixed up yo!) are attracted to me. i was browsing at one of the shops which sell babymilo and NY hats and bearbricks top and the salesmen there are like flirting with me. i know they are flirting and not just wanting me to get things cause they asked me out to club tonight and wanted my number. no, i didnt say yes. they werent hot. hahaha yes superficial.



p.s. the real reason why i didnt go to Starbucks was because it was filled with tons of stupid idiotic tourists and i saw a group of ah bengs who disrupted my peace the other time i was supposedly planning to study alone.


p.p.s. i was amused at how nee nee thought that today is a special day cause of the 080808. well. it might be but i didnt see swan so i guess it didnt do well for me.

"SHE HAD EYES LIKE CRAZY DIAMONDS"

"women need a reason to cheat; men just need a women."

wait, it gets better,

"women need a reason to have sex, men just need a space."


hahaha. seriously, how true is that? no offence boys, i love you hot ones all still. but think about it, how come in case of adultery, the women generally leave their "old" men for the new guy they have an affair with, while the men have a higher probabilty of deciding to stay with their "old" flame?

tyng's theory: men were just having fun. while the girls, have almost forsaken the original relationship all together. all we can say is men got distracted along the way; women lost hope and moved on.

does this sound biased? whatever, i still think comparatively, we are still the more loyal party. haha.

anyways. i totally bought my dress! so i am having bras issue. i do not want to go bra-less in public. so i googled for some options:

this is like not that bad. but it's sold in the US and seriously, shipping a bra in? sounds retarded. especially when i cannot try it. what if it doesnt fit? waste the dough.

VS! man, i spent an hour drooling over the models. so sexy! so hot!

there're options of nipple pad which is going braless;

nubra which has high potential of falling;

and my bikini from secondary two. hahaha. i was trying to make it work, but the way i wanted it to be was alittle too complex for my left hand to handle. how i wish my left hand works like my right!

so, i need advice from my mother when she gets back from bangkok. or should i go down to a professional bra shop and ask them all these mind-boggling questions. torture them with my expectations. like seriously, i doubt they can provide me with enlightenment. it's not like we have Victoria's Secret or Agent Provocateur here. oh sure, like i have time to travel to KL!

oh fuck french role play today was nothing, but the test was ugh. the weird woman blabbered and i was fretting cause i had one last play left and i couldnt comprehend what she was saying! all gibberish! all gibberish! ah what weight ah what height ah what address! listening comprehension equals death.

oh double fuck. i had the wiki (no i shant explain what this is) page opened from eight oh-clock till now and i havent typed a single word! oh noes! and there's the quizzzzz. geezzz. whizz. hahaha. so funny, rhyming words.

- click. and all's dead -

WE LIVE LIKE BUMBLEBEES!

hello! it has been too too long. even though all the readers have left this new-found red space, it's still my diary aight. grr mummy just called to ask if i wanna go for mani-pedi with her. guess what? i just did my own nails like an hour ago. not meant to be!



okay, so the metals are out. and i still feel weird seeing my teeth whole. i think i looked wayy better with braces,




so i tried to practise smiling with my teeth. even though i dont usually smile with my teeth, it's more of a grin then cresent eyes. but we shouldnt waste the damn effort of getting straight teeth, non?


a series of unfortunate tries..



eww eww ewww! i am sticking to this,

for ever.

okay, i got my eyes set on this super cheap MNG dress from clearance sales. too bad there's no XS but i am still bagging the S. cause it's fucking sexyyy.

one problem though, since the back is so exquisite, it looks better without a bra. but i feel weird without a bra. HOW? do they have bras with like transparent plastic back (like those straps)? or how! i tried it with a bra, and it just totally turns all complicated and the design loses its, well design.

so troublesomeeee!

busy life busy life! cant wait to have fun! after those darn papers! there's no sup this year! one chance to pass! man, i am so nervous.